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MY SON IS A FRESHMAN in high school, and I’m beginning to be more purposeful about his baseball aspirations. But after dropping $85 on a one-hour pitching lesson, I was wondering, was my money well spent?
My search for an answer began with the Netflix series Receiver. I tuned in to see football player George Kittle, a former University of Iowa Hawkeye and bigtime professional wrestling fan. Kittle was kind enough to send autographed memorabilia for a softball fundraiser we had a few years ago. He’s now a star for the San Francisco 49ers.
I learned about Kittle through a mutual friend, Steve Manders, who was a walk-on for the Hawkeyes for three years before he began professional wrestling. During my wrestling career, I tagged with Steve for a period of time, and learned a lot about hard work, grit and perseverance from being around him.
While I watched Receiver to learn more about Kittle, the Netflix series was also my introduction to Detroit Lions wide receiver Amon-Ra St. Brown. What caught my eye was his dad, John Brown, a former Mr. Universe. I subsequently listened to the father’s podcast and interviews. It became clear he had strong opinions about parenting, including how parents need to take charge of the direction of their children’s lives.
It was eye-opening. I always like to have my beliefs questioned. And when someone has results, I’ll listen with an open mind. And oh my, does the older Brown have opinions:
I remember hearing World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Hall of Fame broadcaster Jim Ross speak. He said that, if all you do is the standard amount of practice or work, you’re going to get the standard amount of success. When I heard that, I immediately thought of my formative years in wrestling, when I was attending wrestling school in Dallas.
Alex Pourteau was the guy who got into the ring and trained with us. He showed us physically how to do the moves and execute them. One day, a male stripper came in and trained with us. He wasn’t part of our class. But he worked out with us and, when he walked out the door, he handed Alex some money and said, “Thank you, brother.”
I thought nothing of that moment until I heard Jim Ross’s speech. We only went to wrestling school on Wednesday for an hour or two. I did the minimum. I was struggling to gain traction, to get my first match. I was stuck and couldn’t think of a way to get better. After hearing Ross speak, it was crystal clear how I could have improved, how I could have gotten in more practice.
I could have taken an extra $50 or $75, and asked Pourteau if we could train on Monday and Thursday evening as well. Just me and him. Money was tight, but I could have got a second job and come up with the extra cash.
Pourteau was signed by the WWE a few years later and was an excellent young wrestler. I would have improved immensely by working out with him one-on-one. But my mind wasn’t there at that time, it didn’t get creative when it ran into obstacles. I was struggling. It was the first time in my life I was pursuing something that I really cared about but where I wasn’t succeeding. I didn’t know how to handle that.
As I’ve spoken to other parents about the price of travel baseball, clinics and lessons, all I get is a shrug of the shoulders—an attitude that it’s the price to be paid if you want to support your kids. When folks ask me how I handle the bad tenants who inevitably come along and trash a unit or don’t pay their rent, I give them the same look I get from these parents. It’s the cost of doing business. It can’t be escaped and it’ll happen at some point, no matter what precautions you take.
Many parents say that, if you travel any distance for a game, you’re easily looking at several hundred dollars for a weekend once you factor in gas, meals, hotels and tournament fees. It’s understandable why they have little sympathy for me and the $85 I spent on a quality one-on-one session with a Triple-A baseball pitcher, one who played for four years at a Division 1 college. It’s the price you pay for excellent coaching.
And besides the technical skills my son learned, how much access does a typical high school freshman get to a world-class athlete? What are the intangibles that kids get from spending time with those who have worked hard at their craft, excelled in a difficult endeavor and graduated with a degree from a first-class university? My son’s trainer is a great young man: positive, encouraging, a tremendous work ethic and well mannered. My son has played with a few players who were the opposite: arrogant, not helpful to the young guys, lazy and entitled.
I’ve been around some of the greats in pro wrestling, along with many other wrestling pros. I’ve come to learn that these interactions provide valuable lessons.
So, I’ll continue to spend money on my son’s baseball lessons. I’m going to keep listening to John Brown and his message of tough love: “There’s no such thing as lazy kids, only lazy parents.” There are moments when I’m listening to him that it feels like he’s talking directly to me and the lazy parenting I’ve been guilty of in the past.
I often simply dropped off my son at practice, and expected the coach to transform my son and his teammates into solid ball players. But that’s a lot to ask from one or two coaches. Now, I’m doing what I can, such as hitting the weights with him, cooking better meals, and getting in extra reps on the weekends at the batting cages and ball diamonds. And opening up the wallet as well.
Juan Fourneau’s goal is to retire at age 55. When he isn’t at his manufacturing job, he enjoys reading and writing about personal finance, investing and other interests. Juan, who is married with two children, retired from the ring after wrestling on the independent circuit for more than 25 years. He wrestled as a Mexican Luchador under the name Latin Thunder. Follow Juan on Twitter @LatinThunder1, visit his website and check out his previous articles.
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As a 49ers fan and a USC alum, you had me at George Kittle and Amon-Ra St Brown.
My kids were musicians/theater people and not athletes—our Labrador Retriever, descended from champion hunters, was by far the best athlete in the family—but we invested a lot of time and money into their lessons, practice, shows, and choirs. I did hit a wall with my younger daughter, though. She was and still is very musically talented, an excellent singer, and picked up instruments quickly and easily, compared to her also-talented older sister. But she was so resistant to practicing the piano, and it became such a battleground for our relationship, that I finally let her give it up. I struggled with it at the time—she’s too talented to let her quit, and she’s too young to make a good decision about this—and still wonder if I took the easy way out. Parenting is tough.
Great article, Juan. Always love your point of view. Chris