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DURING A PROJECT meeting at my old employer, a member of our team was constantly raising questions without offering any solutions. Afterwards, the team leader commented, “This guy always thinks his cup is half empty. Nothing will ever satisfy him.”
We’ve all known such people. Is there anything wrong with their attitude? It depends. My boss told me during my first week, “Never be satisfied with the status quo. Find ways to improve everything. That’s the only way you’ll move up in the organization.” Our civilization has made tremendous advances because people weren’t satisfied with the way things were. That can be a good thing—but only if it’s followed by steps to fix the problems identified.
The “cup half-empty” group can be overly pessimistic. I’ve known several folks who always find fault with how things are. They may say they have high standards, but others might describe them as “very demanding” or “perfectionists.”
Meanwhile, the “cup half-full” group can be overly optimistic. They’re the ones who say cheerfully, “Good morning. What a great day,” even when the sky is cloudy and the forecast isn’t good. They tend to be positive almost all the time. People tend to like optimists, and research shows optimists are typically happier than pessimists.
I used to wonder if I was an optimist or a pessimist. I got my answer when visiting my son some years ago. He was driving with the gas tank less than 10% full. I was constantly pointing out that he needed to fill up. He thought I was stressing unnecessarily. In fact, I fill the gas tank every time it drops below the 50% mark. That may be overly cautious, but that’s me.
One survey found that 46% of those age 65 and below are optimistic, versus 66% for those who are older. Life has a way of teaching us to ignore meaningless shortcomings and focus on the big issues. That’s a good thing. I’ve seen my own attitude change with age. I’ve become less stressed about things that I can’t control.
Such attitudes carry over to our finances. Pessimists take steps to ensure they don’t lose money by, say, holding a high allocation to bonds and cash. They may constantly worry about a market downturn. Meanwhile, optimists take risks in investing, perhaps betting heavily on highflying momentum stocks. They may also lose big during market downturns.
How do you go from a “half-empty” to a “half-full” person? If you opt for a smaller cup and pour in the same amount of water, you now have a full cup. In other words, you need to change your frame of reference. For example, if your finances are tight because you own a big home, it may be time to downsize and cut your expenses. Your financial cup will be fuller, leading to less stress.
You might have heard of the “missing tile” syndrome. You focus on a single missing piece in a beautiful tiled wall. You zero in on the negative and ignore all the positive things you have. The result is misery.
I didn’t have a good grasp of this until I saw a friend of mine after a gap of five years. His first greeting was, “What happened? You lost some hair.” I was surprised. We had so many things to catch up on. Why was he talking about my hair? It dawned on me later that he had been bald from an early age and his “missing tile” was his hair. He was focusing on everyone else’s hair, thereby making himself miserable.
Focusing on the negative is a common problem that leads to stress in relationships, finances and life more generally. I’ve suffered from this myself. I have a nice car, though not the latest model, but I’m happy with it. Still, there’s a little scratch. Every time I got in the car, I noticed the scratch and it made me a little less happy. Nobody else notices, because the scratch is so small. But it’s the negative I kept focusing on.
Lately, I’ve learned to ignore the scratch. I’d encourage you to do the same. This holiday season, I plan to count my blessings, avoid comparisons and stop worrying about things I don’t have control over. My goal is to be thankful—and to think of my cup as always being at least half full.
Sundar Mohan Rao retired after a four-decade career as a research and development engineer. He lives in Tampa in a 55-plus community. Mohan’s interests include investing, digital painting, reading, writing and gardening. Check out his earlier articles.
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Half empty, half full, pessimist, optimist – reminds me of Oscar Wilde: “A pessimist is somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.”
An optimist will put in more doors for opportunity to knock!
“Our civilization has made tremendous advances because people weren’t satisfied with the way things were.”
This sentence reminds me of a 3-line observation I heard many years ago —
Happy Holidays, Sundar. Sounds like we may well be on the same journey. As a college educated mechanical engineer turned manufacturing executive, attention to detail was paramount in helping to assure success. Turning it “off” or lowering the level of, has proven to be difficult, but I’m getting there. Best wishes to you!
I had the same problem on retiring. Surrounded by other retirees, I got used to a slower pace in short order. Good luck!
Great posting Sundar!
And I, too, have become more optimistic as I age. It could be all the grandchildren I get to spoil.
Happy holidays. Of course, the world needs both types: the pessimist to notice the problem and the optimist to fix it. There’s also the cliche that pessimists are never disappointed.
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist the parachute. ”
-George Bernard Shaw
For minimal cost a small scratch can be buffed out in minimal time, so as the Cable Guy says,”get ‘er done!”
You could probably get your vehicle detailed and ask them to “take care of that scratch” in the process. You’ll have a clean car and no scratch.
It doesn’t bother me anymore. No one can easily see it. Do I still need to fix it? May be I should.
This has relevance to many things in life.
Happy Holidays Sundar. Your story holds a lot of wisdom. It reminded me of an old joke I heard when I first started out in engineering. There are various versions, but this is what I recall.
“A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. An optimist thinks the glass is half full. An engineer thinks the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”
Right on! I used to further add, “What was the goal?” Perhaps the level is right where it’s supposed to be.
….. And a tax preparer wants to know how much the glass cost
And also, “do you have a receipt for purchasing that glass?”