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I FEEL GRATITUDE for the life I’ve had. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a few regrets: Friendships that turned sour or simply faded away. People who died before I got to see them one last time. Professional endeavors where I felt I could have done better. Purchases I made that didn’t live up to my expectations.
But my list of regrets has three glaring omissions.
First, it doesn’t include any of the investments I’ve made. This isn’t because all my investments have performed well. Far from it. As a globally diversified investor, my portfolio includes plenty of duds. But that’s the nature of diversification. You’re always going to own some of the world’s stinkers.
Perhaps I’d feel differently if I picked individual stocks or actively managed funds, rather than favoring index funds. But with index funds, owning everything comes with the territory, so I don’t feel badly when I suffer poor performance.
What’s the second area where I have no regrets? It’s the purchases I resisted making. In fact, while there are plenty of purchases that I wish I hadn’t made, there’s only one purchase that I failed to make which—in retrospect—I regret.
Why do some of my purchases show up on the regret meter, but almost none of the purchases I failed to make? No doubt it is, in large part, because it’s easier to recall the purchases I made. In many cases, those purchases are still with me, reminding me of my mistake—which is why I should probably throw or give these items away. That brings me to my third non-regret: I can’t think of a single possession that I’ve given away or thrown away that I’d like to have back.
From this, I draw two lessons: If I’m agonizing over whether to make a purchase, I should simply walk away, because it’s unlikely I’ll later regret my failure to buy. And if I make a purchase I regret, I shouldn’t have any qualms about unloading it.
What’s the lone purchase that I failed to make, but which I still regret? It was a painting by Victor Vignon, a minor 19th century French impressionist whose circle of acquaintances included Camille Pissarro and Paul Cezanne. The painting was on eBay and sold for around $2,000. My then-wife declared that she didn’t like it and that I shouldn’t buy it, but I still find myself occasionally musing about the painting.
No, this wasn’t the reason for our divorce.
Sage advice, Jonathan.
I truly regret that when I was young and naive, I stayed too heavily invested in my employer’s stock and did not diversify, and I paid for my ignorance. But I’ve never regretted any other purchases that I made, even those I sold out at a loss, because I understand and accept that they were sunk costs I could do nothing about. And with every loss comes a lesson. On balance, I’ve done very well, especially with index funds.
And, like you, I regret not buying a piece of art I loved. But it was a silkscreen with a few dozen prints made, so I keep looking for one of them to resurface at auction, and if one does, I will jump. I think I might still win the one that got away.
A painting by Jack B Yeats (brother of William Butler Yeats) in a shop in Dublin in the late 80’s before he was “known”. The $1,000 price was steep but in retrospect I could have managed it. Now it is in the millions. The painting was/is one I could relate to – a beach I spent summers at as a child. And it is a good painting … it is not the money that I regret but the possibility of having a painting I could relate to but that was slightly out of my reach.
Regrets. I’ve had a few. But then again, too few to mention—sings Old Blue Eyes. Interesting self-inquiry. I don’t regret ANY purchases (well, maybe that lemon Opel that burned through oil).
I DO regret touching and/or cashing out investment and retirement accounts (an early Merrill Lynch Sharebuilder, a state pension fund). And some of my late, tech-savvy, futurist brother’s stock tips turned out to be dogs (NNLX!) but I have been more than well-compensated with others (IONQ, RGTI and JOBY!).
And, as a lifelong arts administrator, owning a Vignon would be deeply satisfying. Why not buy one now? Surround yourself with things you love now that you know death is closer than you once imagined. And what a gift to your heirs to eventually own something you treasured so much.