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THIS ISN’T ANOTHER article about dreaming of retirement. Rather, it’s about dreaming in retirement.
I retired in 2017 after practicing criminal law in central Texas for almost four decades. It could be stressful at times. Before that, there were long years in college and law school.
College was relatively easygoing and enjoyable in the laid-back Austin of the 1970s, plus my major was sociology—a world apart from those in pre-med, engineering and the like. The University of Texas School of Law was, by contrast, a rude wake-up call. The professors and the material were demanding, to put it mildly.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had recurring dreams with the same theme: I’m unprepared for something, or lost in a new environment, or somehow thrust into chaos and disorganization. A frequent dream involves starting off at a new school where I don’t know the location of any of my classes and I’m already way behind on the assignments. Alternatively, I’m in court and I’m totally unprepared for my case.
Now that I’m retired and living the easy life, you’d think those dreams would disappear. But they haven’t. Not content to be unprepared locally, I recently dreamed that I’d somehow become attorney of record on three cases in Florida. You guessed it: Trial was about to start on one case and I was unprepared.
What seems even more odd is that, during my waking hours, I rarely think back on my working life. I have many things on my mind, but my old law practice isn’t one of them.
Maybe it’s genetic—or maybe it just goes with the profession. My dad was a Maryland farm boy who in the 1920s made it to college and then law school. He practiced in Dallas well into his 90s and loved it. Yet his whole life he had similar dreams. The most dramatic of these, he told me, was finding himself in class totally naked.
I’m not really complaining, as my dreamworld is a relatively mild place. It’s nothing like what our military, law enforcement and firefighting veterans experience.
I’m curious about the recurring dreams of others, especially retirees. Here on HumbleDollar, we have writers and readers from a wide variety of professional backgrounds, so I hope you’ll share a comment about your own dreamworld.
Same dream, different profession: only more colorful. I was a Navy/Airline/Professional pilot for 55 years.
Me, too. Pretty much the same kinds of dreams that you and others report, Andrew. I was a college professor and have lots “teaching nightmares” (late for class, unprepared, etc.). And for the last 12 years of my career, I was also an administrator. Since I retired in 2017, I have consistently had “administrator” dreams, usually with the same theme: frustration. In my sleep, I attend meetings, spend stressful time with the provost and president, deal with personnel crises, etc. What baffles me most is that 99% of my dreams are set in Texas (where I taught)–even though I haven’t set foot in the state for almost 7 seven years (I retired to Chicago). Some of my dreams were so perplexing and unpleasant that I started writing them down in a journal. That seemed to be a good thing–to help me “understand” the dreams (if such a thing is possible), to observe recurrent patterns, and to process and forget the more “memorable” ones.
Very interesting article and comments. I’ve been retired for 15+ years and still frequently (once a week or more) have work-related dreams, some stressful and some not.
I have had the school dreams mentioned by others, but rarely.
For 10 years or more, I had a recurring dream of driving a car at high speed, cresting a hill, and flying high into the clouds as I panicked about how to land. I always woke before the landing.
My most vivid and all-time favorite dream occurred 20 years or more ago and involved basketball. I grew up in Indiana with a basketball in hand and played high school, some college, and adult leagues into my 50’s. In my dream, I did a slam dunk over a defending Michael Jordan. It was awesome! Of course, in real life, there is the reality that I never could dunk. Unfortunately, this dream has never recurred.
For 50 years I’ve had that dream where I go to school to take the final, but can’t find the room (and yes, I’m naked). Sometimes I can’t turn the doorknob, and other times, I can’t dial the phone (the old pay phones).
The other dream I have is I’m in a car (with no doors), going really fast and no brakes. One time I looked over and my husband was driving.
The last one is I dream I have a superpower where I can move things with my mind (which is very cool), but no one is interested.
I am also a retired attorney who started out as a litigator (but I then moved on to specialize in the then-exploding telecommunications sector.) I too have had periodic dreams about my old practice, mainly about being unprepared for a courtroom appearance. But those dreams then tend to drift off and evolve into adventures with multiple people leading me in multiple directions through multiple rooms and buildings, with a lot of subplots I never remember. The dread of not being prepared does seem to be a recurring starting point. [Of course, I have always been obsessive/compulsive about being both prepared and never being wrong, and have rarely been in the predicament I dream about.]
In real life, I loved what I did – contributing to the emergence of many technological innovations and competitive advances – and I still follow developments in the broadened telecommunications/Internet/media fields. But only as a pure spectator, however.
I retired in 2014 after a shorter career than that and still have those dreams
“I’m unprepared for something, or lost in a new environment..” These two themes rank #1 and #2 on my list of recurring dreams. I’ve wandered into a classroom for test that I am unprepared for, or worse, can’t even find the classroom for a course that I desperately need to graduate. This, or similar themes have lived in my dreams for years with little variation. And, like you I have no idea why. I was a good student, was seldom late for class and never unprepared. Go figure.
I’m guessing the same anxieties are why we were decent students and always prepared and why we have these nagging dreams.
Thanks everyone for sharing your dreams, and good to know they are so many fellow travelers!
I used to have school dreams. Usually back in high school and unprepared or lost. Almost every time in the dream I would realize “wait, I’ve graduated from high school and don’t have to be here.” I would feel intense relief. I retired almost a year ago and almost constantly dream about being at “work.” That or being at somebody’s home with my parents. I’ve heard that our loved ones communicate with us thru our dreams so that actually kind of makes me feel happy.
Being in a math class, not having been to the class all semester, and now I have maybe a day or so to prepare for the final exam. I see others here have a similar dream. I don’t know why it’s exclusively math classes. My degree is math, and I am in that field.
I have what a lot of people call the “student dream” (you realize you have a class/exam/paper you forgot about and you’re panicking), but after many years, it’s morphed into three different variations:
The teacher dream (I’m a professor): It’s the first day of class and I don’t have a syllabus or any other plan for the time. I’m making it up as I go along and the students are getting restless and eventually start throwing things. Another variation of this is that I suddenly realize it’s Week 14 of a 15-week semester and I’ve forgotten to go to one of my classes. The students have been sitting there waiting for me twice a week, and I’m horrified that someone will find out how irresponsible I’ve been.The speaker dream: I’m giving a talk somewhere—an academic conference or at church—and I’m completely unprepared and very embarrassed.The travel dream: I need to pack or book a flight for a trip and I can’t pull it together and am very anxious.In all instances, the dreams seem to happen when real life is overwhelming and I feel like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I’d hope that retirement will lead to fewer of those moments, but we’ll see. Overcommitting myself has been a feature and not a bug in my life (but I’m working on it!).
I happily left my corporate job for self-employment/working from home 16 years ago now. Yet I still frequently have a dream where I’m wandering the company hallways, arms laden with all my desk belongings (with usually a stapler perched on top of the heap) looking for my office. Two things usually happen: a) I never find my office or b) I find someone else working in my office and am confused and a little miffed. Usually, I wake up both frustrated by all the wasted time wandering the hallways and very happy that it was just a bad dream that I still have to go there. (Side note: in real life, the building I have this dream about was turned into deluxe home rentals years ago, so it’s more likely someone is sleeping in my old office rather than working in it.)
Here’s another recurring dream I have that has nothing to do with work. I suddenly find an unknown door in my house and open it to find a surprise wing of the house filled with many beautifully furnished rooms. I then wander around, kicking myself I didn’t find the door earlier. I’ve mentioned this dream to my female friends, and many have said they’ve had a similar recurring dream. For the male readers of this site, have you ever had that dream? My husband only reports on dreams about flying or falling.
I retired two years ago from a high-stress career, which I nevertheless enjoyed in many ways. I’ve had occasional dreams since in which I’m called in to work because of an all-hands-on-deck-emergency and finding that my thinking and actions, once automatic, have turned to sludge. I wake up so relieved that I’ll never have to deal with those middle-of-night situations again. Whew!
For years after I retired as a Physical Therapist I had nightmares that everything was going wrong at work. Thankfully those dreams very rarely occur now. Maybe it’s just a continuation of very well known imposter syndrome.
Many years ago (senior year of high school) when I worked as a waiter at a busy restaurant, I would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic that I had tables still waiting for their food!
For years and years had similar dreams about college, the main one was finding out I was enrolled in a class I never went to and had to take the exam that day! As a corp atty, I’ve had lots of dreams about meetings and more meetings, and different bosses and coworkers, in my dreams they are all mixed up from the various companies I’ve worked at. Some good, but mostly bad, stressful . Now in my 3 year of retirement they are less and less thankfully.
Interesting article Andrew.
I can’t recall any recurring dreams. I have had some with the same theme, and something work related is one, though rare. I retired in late 2021. It’s a bummer to have the dream, but nice to realize, hey I don’t actually have to do this bs and fall back asleep with a smile.
Another theme is finding myself under physical attack somehow, also rare. When this happens either my wife wakes me up, or in trying to say something or cry out in the dream I actually do make a real noise and wake myself up. Unlike Ed Marsh below who is now my hero I have yet to kick butt in a dream.
Interestingly, a few months ago I was lucid enough in a bad dream to semi-consciously try to say “wake up!” and made a real noise that did so. Pleased with myself, the next time I was in a bad dream, I was lucid enough to say to myself, “not real, not real, not real…”. This had no effect, so I moved to “wake up, wake up, wake up” which also had none. Trying to shout “wake up!” made a real noise that did.
Btw, I highly recommend the book Why We Sleep, which discusses dreams along with lots of other fascinating stuff.
I have a good story about how I lost my status as my wife’s hero—still trying to reclaim it—but not for this post. Glad to know I’m still someone’s hero!
The dream superhero metamorphosis came sometime after reading about a man with a recurring dream of being chased by a gorilla. He was advised by his therapist to confront the gorilla. He did so and it morphed into his overbearing mother-in-law. All of these dream events occur during that period when somnolence is giving way to wakefulness and we become aware of our dreaming. And, by the way, I love my sweet mother-in-law.
Interesting, I may try that the next time I’m under attack in a dream.
If my aggressor morphs into my mother-in-law I will never speak a word of it.
Thanks to everyone for all the interesting comments. Hope even more will chime in!
I have two recurring dreams since retiring from my IT career:
I’m wandering through an airport, can’t find the gate, lose my boarding pass, misplace my carryon bag, on and on, OR it’s my first day on a new job and I get off the elevator on the wrong floor, wander around, get on the elevator again, get off on another wrong floor, on and on. I’m always so glad to wake up.
Andrew, Thank you for posting this!
And thanks to all the commenters too!
Since I’ve retired I can’t remember any work related dreams. I don’t remember many dreams at all.
I DO remember a recurring dream where I am back in college … but at the same time with one of my children.
Or with an appropriately aged grandchild. (None of whom who are beyond elementary school age!)
Or with one or both of my parents.
And even though I am the youngest child … at college with one of my siblings.
I likely have other dreams too. But I don’t remember them.
Glad (?) to hear I’m not alone. I’ve been retired 13 years now and have work-related nightmares (they aren’t simply dreams) 1-2x/month that awaken me in a cold sweat.
I apparently dream all the time. My wife says I talk, grunt, and move abruptly often when I sleep. I rarely remember my dreams. Sometimes a dream will wake me, and I say to myself “I should remember this” and then forget – the only thing I remember is that I was supposed to remember it. On the rare occasion I have a dream and remember it, it’s pretty innocuous.
I’ve been retired for 3-1/2 years, and have not had any dreams that I remember about work, school, preparation, etc.
I dream frequently that I have an exam in high school and haven’t been to class all year and I’m completely unprepared. Also I’m loss frequently in my dreams…airports….etc…i to am retired and don’t think about work at all. But these dreams are constant…
Among all the comments so far, Martymac’s is closest to my recurring dream. I graduated from college 55 years ago and now volunteer with a group of retirees at Habitat for Humanity. While we were on a break last summer, I mentioned my recurring dream that it was finals week in college and when the test schedule was posted there was an exam for a required class that I had totally forgotten about, never attended a lecture or bought the text. I then wake up in a minor panic. When I told this story, 3 of my co-volunteers said that they have had the same dream!!
For many years I occasionally had the exact same dream, mine was about a class in graduate school! I haven’t had it for a long time, and had forgotten about it, but now that you’ve stirred up that old memory . . . .
but don’t worry, I won’t hold it against either of you! 🙂
Andrew, thanks for the interesting article. In my working years I would dream about work, especially projects that were falling behind schedule or having technical issues. Much of it involved problem solving. I still find myself “dreaming” about financial of tax problems, especially if they are complicated and challenging me.These often extend into daylight hours. Walking helps sort things out at times.
I don’t typically remember my dreams, or if I do, they’re innocuous and silly. But recently, I had a nightmare so bad that I woke myself up yelling for my grandson sleeping elsewhere in the house. I dreamt that there was a threatening intruder in the house. When I told my sister, she immediately said “Is there something going on that’s upsetting you?” Unbeknownst to her, the small non-profit where I’m on the board was going through some temporary problems that were confusing and which made me feel out of control. Smart sister! Even though my dream content was unrelated, it was reflecting my current stress. The only difference since retirement is that I no longer have recurring dreams of being unable to find a public restroom (I was a visiting nurse). 😄
In retirement I still have dreams about work and school. My school dreams involve being late for an exam. My work dreams have to do with bad bosses. I wish I could turn these dreams off but I can’t.
Ditto
Makes me feel better that I am not the only one that has recurring dreams of unpreparedness and chaos. I am retired as well, but continue to have dreams like this. I am one course short of graduating, or I am on a trip and I don’t have my passport Etc. so good to wake up from these!… I wonder what the root of these type of dreams are?
Great topic, Andrew. A recurring dream throughout my adult life is that I am back in college…never high school. All kinds of scenarios present themselves, but common themes involve getting used to unfamiliar roommates and angst about how long it will take me to finish my studies. I never dreamt about work when I was working, but now that I am retired I occasionally do.
I have had similar dreams frequently in the past but not so much in recent years. Being in class for a final was common, with no memory of attendance before. I still had the feeling I should do well on the test. Public nudity was also common, in school or other places.
In a dream years ago in which I was being chased in a dark alley, I picked up a length of pipe and easily fended off the attackers. Thereafter, I often had the realization that I could overcome any danger. I’ve not had a true nightmare since.
The most frequent recurring dream involved flying. I remember the specific dream that it began. I eventually learned to control my levitation to escape danger and even fly above the atmosphere.
Andrew, I’ve no idea why I’ve divulged so much of my dream life, but apparently I’m also interested in the topic. Sweet dreams!
Love that in there dream you fend off your attackers!
I’ve had flying dreams as well, those started in my childhood!
My family story goes that in the mid 1800s members of my family emigrated to Australia from Ireland – could have been on a prison boat for all I know.
In any case they supposedly struck it rich with one relative sporting a huge diamond ring.
Ever since I heard that story as a teenager I have had a dream that I would receive a letter from an attorney in Australia saying they have been searching for me for decades and I had inherited exactly $14,000,000. Why that amount I don’t know.
Apparently they are still searching, but at this point I’d settle for the huge diamond.
Andrew, Dreams are a conundrum. The purpose of dreams is still a bit of a mystery to the scientific community.
The problem I have with strange or weird dreams is that they can be unsettling or disturbing, making it difficult to fall asleep again.
I find it helps to divert my thoughts by doing something innocuous, even simple—like watching an old tv show, if only for 15 minutes or just enough time to feel drowsy again.
Good article. Thank you.
Marjorie,
Sometimes when I can’t fall asleep because I can’t turn my brain off I just continually repeat to myself “calm”, and it works. Give it a try!
Andrew, that dream of not being properly prepared at work is familiar, though for me it stopped when work stopped. Waking at 2:30 with my brain burning on solutions to a problem happens less often since retiring but still continues. Perhaps that’s the engineer version of your lawyer’s dream?
I have that same reoccurring dream – perhaps it is the customary nocturnal mental torture for lawyers! 😵💫
A website called Amerisleep has a breakdown of the top nightmares people experience, including falling (65%), being chased (63%), death (55%), feeling lost (54%), feeling trapped (52%), and being attacked (50%), among many others.