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At ten years old, my twin brother and I stood in a dark hallway trying not to cry.
The suitcases had already been taken from the car. Around us stood other families saying goodbye to children far too young to understand why they were being left behind. Then suddenly it was our turn.
Two frightened boys clinging to their mother, tears streaming down our faces as we watched home disappear behind us.
“An ominous dark hallway, A tearful goodbye. A shattered soul, I’m ten years old.”
It was 1970. Our family had moved from England to the United States four years earlier. It was my parents belief that boarding school in the UK would provide my brother and me with a better education and greater opportunity. Through my father’s position at the World Bank, the tuition was covered. On paper, the decision made perfect sense.
My parents were making what they believed was a wise investment in our future. What none of us fully understood was the emotional price attached to it.
Children do not measure life through opportunity or prestige. They measure it through safety, love, and presence.
Now we were an ocean away from our family ties.
For me, boarding school came with a devastating emotional cost.
The bullying never truly stopped. My grades suffered badly, and much to my embarrassment, they were publicly posted for everyone to see. Each posting chipped away at what little confidence I had left.
In 1972, my father’s work relocated our family to Bangladesh while my twin brother and I remained behind at school in England, only to return for the holidays. That same year, our younger brother Jonathan joined us there. Looking back now, I often think about how difficult that transition must have been for him as well.
I still remember one tutor’s comment:
“Andrew tries hard but never quite succeeds.”
For years, those words haunted me. Looking back now, however, I hear something different.
Andrew tries hard.
And I did.
Nothing came easily to me academically, but I never stopped trying. Somewhere beneath the loneliness and self-doubt, a resilience was quietly forming.
Not every memory from those years was painful.
In 1977, during one of the darkest periods of my boarding school experience, a teacher quietly changed the course of my life. Years later, after his death, I wrote these words about him:
“You took me under your wings without judging my weakness but pulling on my strength.”
At the time, I did not fully understand how much his kindness mattered. Looking back now, I realize he saw something in me that I could not yet see in myself. And his story will come later.
By 1977, my twin brother and I had finally reached our breaking point and told our parents we could not continue. When we returned to the United States, another emotional upheaval awaited us: my parents’ separation.
It wasn’t until my final year at university, after years of struggling academically, that something unexpected happened. For the first time in my life, I made the Dean’s List during my final two semesters.
That accomplishment meant more to me than any grade ever posted on a classroom wall.
Those difficult years did shape parts of me that later proved valuable. They produced resilience, determination, and a willingness to work hard no matter the odds. Those traits helped me eventually build a successful business with my twin brother Nicholas and a meaningful life.
But emotional wounds do not disappear simply because success eventually arrives.
Too often we measure education by outcomes: prestigious schools, careers, accomplishments, and financial success while ignoring the emotional price some children quietly pay along the way.
Boarding school may work well for some children. For others, especially those too young to emotionally process prolonged separation from home, the scars can linger for decades.
If success eventually came to me, it did not come because boarding school broke me down.
It came because I spent years rebuilding the self-esteem it had taken away.
Andrew, like Dan I wasn’t sure how to respond. Jonathan had written about his boarding school experiences, but your article adds additional insights. In addition to my admiration for yours and your brother’s resilience, my strong take-away is to remain humble and not assume I know what others have faced and overcome.
Thank you Rick. I think that’s one of the lessons I’ve learned as well. We rarely know the full story behind someone’s journey or the challenges they may have faced along the way. If the article encourages a little more understanding and a little less assumption, then it was worth writing.
Andrew, I’ve held off on commenting because I just didn’t know how to respond. I can’t imagine how it must have hurt.
In spite of the trauma, the Clements boys turned out pretty darned good. Thanks for this emotional and thought provoking look into your experience.
Thank you Dan. It wasn’t an easy article to write, but I’m glad I did. Looking back, I can see both the challenges and the lessons that came from those years. And you’re right, we all found our way in the end, even if the path was a little more complicated than it needed to be.
Thanks for this, Andrew. Many people have only Hogwarts as a reference for boarding school. It’s difficult to imagine the impact of sending a child away has on the family. The emotional and physical separation is jarring. I might write a piece to add my perspective, but I would need to discuss it with my kids first.
Jeff, thank you for this thoughtful comment. I think you’re right that many people romanticize boarding school through fictional portrayals without fully appreciating the emotional separation involved, both for the children and the parents.
What I’ve come to realize is that the experience affects the entire family in ways that often aren’t fully understood until much later. I would very much welcome hearing your perspective someday, especially because these experiences can look very different depending on whether you lived them as the child or the parent.
Thanks, Andrew. Beautifully written and so thoughtful. Another perspective from my family is the effect of sending your child abroad upon my former daughter-in-law. Seven years ago, with my son’s agreement, she sent their 13-year-old son to live with me and my husband to attend middle and high school and eventually, college here, believing that there are better opportunities here. There were bumps in the road, but my grandson has done very well, now completing his first year of college. What his mother didn’t anticipate was that he would become so thoroughly enculturated that his return to live in his home country is now very unlikely. Attending his high school graduation last year, it hit her hard that their close bond is unalterably changed. She went home sooner than she had planned.
Thank you Linda for sharing that. Your story really highlights another side of these decisions that families often don’t fully anticipate. Even when things work out academically and opportunities open up, there can still be an emotional cost tied to distance, separation, and how relationships evolve over time.
It sounds like your grandson has done wonderfully, but I can also understand how difficult that realization must have been for his mother at graduation. Life can quietly move in directions we never quite expected.
You’re so right, Andrew.
Thanks Andrew, another very powerful piece. All the challenges you faced make me appreciate the very simple, stable childhood I enjoyed.
The “unintended consequences” of actions, both negative and positive, can certainly be very powerful.
Thank you Greg. Looking back, I think it’s often the unintended consequences in life that shape us the most, sometimes in ways we only fully understand many years later.
My future son-in-law was born deaf and eventually received a cochlear implant. He attended a specialist boarding school for the hearing impaired from the ages of 11 to 17, and from what I understand, it was a very positive experience — he came away with firm, lasting friendships with several of his fellow students.
Thank you Mark for sharing that perspective. I truly believe boarding school experiences can vary greatly depending on the child, the environment, and the support system around them. I’m glad your future son-in-law had such a positive experience and formed lasting friendships. My article was really a reflection on how differently children can respond emotionally to separation and those formative years away from home. Of course my experience was back in the 70’s, times have changed.
I’m not sure comments are appropriate, but I’ll try with reservation because I can’t write what I am thinking.
So, do you truly believe this “It was my parents belief that boarding school in the UK would provide my brother and me with a better education and greater opportunity.” I don’t.
I understand your reservation, and honestly it’s a fair question. Looking back as an adult, I do believe my parents thought they were doing what was best for us. My father’s career involved international moves, and I think they believed stability, education, and opportunity were important gifts they could provide.
At the same time, good intentions do not always protect children from emotional consequences. That is really the heart of what I was trying to express in the article. I don’t view my parents through anger, but more through the lens of complexity: Loving parents can still make decisions that affect children in ways they never anticipated.
I started my comment to be about the emotional effect upon my grandson, but changed it to be about the effect upon his mother, who made the sending abroad decision. I don’t really know what the effects have been upon my grandson: he seems happy most of the time now, though that hasn’t always been the case. However, the effect upon his mother was clear for everyone to see and memorialized in the forced smile in our family photos. Proud of him but sad for herself.
Your description of the “forced smile” says so much. Even when opportunities and outcomes are positive, there can still be a quiet sense of loss for both parent and child that never fully disappears
I know that Jonathan also wrote that he did not look back at his boarding school days kindly either.
David, yes it did scar Jonathan. It was never spoken but I think experiences like that can affect children very differently, and perhaps many of us carried emotions we didn’t fully understand or speak about at the time.
I absolutely believe they did. Boarding school isn’t as popular here, but places like Andover, Groton, etc are seen as offering a better education and opportunity among those who can afford the price. And just look at what some parents are willing to pay for preschool in NYC. Or the various prep classes, study abroad opportunities that might provide access to the Ivy League. There’s a lot of money spent for the same purpose here.
I see abandoning your children in a boarding school as very different from preschool or a semester abroad or prep classes.
A better education (if that is even valid) is no trade off with being detached from a loving family environment, it’s a poor excuse. It’s parents who want to place their responsibility elsewhere.
You make some valid points, a stable family home is definitely conducive to learning. My circumstances were the extreme, seeing my parents for maybe 8 weeks out of the year during my formative teen years wasn’t favorable for my mental health.
Equating boarding school with child abandonment is unfair. My husband and I never considered it for our children, but i wouldnt negatively judge anyone who did.
If it’s a loving family, Dick. I know of a family where the single mother, highly intelligent and educated in a demanding profession, is a very troubled person, not abusive to her child as far as I know, but troubled. She somehow managed to get her child, also very intelligent and hard working, into an exclusive boarding high school with a full scholarship. According to the grandmother, who I know, the grandmother, mother and child are all very happy with the arrangement. As the grandmother said “It’s better for both of them this way. I’m so proud of my grandchild.”
There are always exceptional circumstances, I don’t think we were talking about that.
It’s the parent’s job to raise, teach, educate, nurture their children. If you have children, doing that comes before anything else IMO. It’s not the job of a boarding school. How could a young child not feel rejected?
Look what happened to Ebenezer Scrooge🥵.
Do children whose fathers leave for work early every morning and come home exhausted at the end of the day feel rejected? I suspect some do.
Why is 17 or 18 the magic age at which children are now deemed old enough to leave the nurturing family?
Is it abandonment to send a screaming 5 year old into a kindergarten class? Should schools keep information on a child’s preferred pronouns from parents? Is summer camp a benefit? What about a year long exchange in high school?
This is a personal finance forum, so it is important to realize that our present construction of “childhood” is very much shaped by our affluent society. In another time, the kids who are now i
on travel teams would be working in the fields or in factories.
Marilyn, you raise some thoughtful points and it took me a day or two to know how to reply. I don’t think there is a single answer because children respond differently to separation, independence, and change. My article wasn’t intended to suggest that boarding school is harmful for every child, only to reflect on how it affected me personally. Looking back, I can better appreciate my parents’ intentions, even while recognizing the emotional impact it had on me. For my brothers and I, our circumstances were different. Our parents lived thousands of miles away so our time spent with them was only at the holidays.
I suspect parents, who believe they are doing the correct thing for a child, can and do err. We can really get caught up in “knowing better.”
I completely agree. Most parents act with love and good intentions, but sometimes the emotional impact on a child is very different from what was intended.
Children differ. What may work for some does not work for all. It sounds like your experience at boarding school and your separation from your parents was painful. Parents and teachers both have an obligation to listen and respond in thoughtful and engaging ways to children. Although I didn’t attend boarding school, my early formal education involved three different strict parochial schools in three different states. I hated school and wanted to quit when my parents moved our family during my high school years. It was not until I attended university – with choices and relative freedom – that I discovered my love for learning.
I spent my early career teaching students who didn’t like school and were often in trouble. Later I taught undergrads and grads who wanted to become teachers. All students deserve teachers who – like the one who took you under their wing – encourage and celebrate children. Thanks for sharing your story Andrew.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and perspective. Your comments about children learning differently and the importance of compassionate teachers truly resonate with me.