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I’m typing this early in the morning from my cousin’s lovely little courtyard garden in London. Everyone is still sleeping, and it’s a beautiful, sunny start to the day, perfect for contemplating and drinking coffee. The thought is playing through my mind: although my life is now different, I don’t feel “retired.”
My days are certainly different and definitely more enjoyable than when I was working, but I still have that sense of agency and direction that filled my time prior to retirement. I assume it’s because I’ve shed one set of metaphorical clothing and donned another set of comfy leisure clothes, more suited to my new reality of personal choice rather than professional necessity.
Perhaps, although I’m the new guy on the retirement block, that’s the answer to this question: retirement shouldn’t be an ending, but a continuation of your life journey at a more sedate pace, focused on yourself and your loved ones. With that little thought in mind, I may get ready for a pleasant retirement day tubing through London to the Natural History Museum for a few hours of experiencing the joys of London. I hope you, too, have a lovely, intentional retirement morning, because we only have this one shot at life. Enjoy.
Spot on. “Go where you wanna go. Do what you wanna do.” – Mama’s & Papa’s.
Retirement to me means that I am in total control of how I spend my time.
Honestly, also being a newbie, I don’t think I’ve completely made the mental transition yet. I’m still doing stuff (work stuff, church stuff), so I’m not completely footloose or fancy free. But I just caught myself today feeling a bit guilty that I’ve moved slowly this week and haven’t gotten as much done as I could have.
It’s going to take me a minute to move past the sense of urgency and that time is getting away from me. It’s been my way of life for so long.
”But I just caught myself today feeling a bit guilty that I’ve moved slowly this week and haven’t gotten as much done as I could have.”
Remember now that you are retired time is on your side,
Time is never on your side. Every day you get older, every year you get frailer. However, when you’re retired, you have more say over what to do with your time. As a new retiree Dana can sit back and relax while she figures out what to do next.
Mark, thanks for an enjoyable article. I especially like your mention of agency and direction. After 8 years in various stages of retirement, I’m more convinced than ever that there is no one way to retire, and we should make it what we want it to be, and can afford it to be. It can be active, sedate, adventurous, or challenging. I understand that external forces like health issues, financial concerns, and family commitments can put requirements on us, But we should try to exercise some level of agency and set our own direction.
I enjoy English language wordplay. People ask why I retired. Simple – I got tired .. and tired … then re-tired.
Life should always have a purpose whether we are retired or not.
LOL Mark, like BB below, the first vision I had of you tubing around London was of you floating down the River Thames on a blown up tire innertube. It took this American a second to remember what a tube is😖
Thanks for the happy and positive post.
We are so glad to be retired b/c this week our daughter’s family is moving to their new home and we have been available to help them get things set up. It has been a busy week so far, but also a happy one. They will be just around the corner from us now. Chris
We have helped move both of our children multiple times over the years. When my son moved into his first house in 2019 I announced that at 61 with both hips replaced this would be the last time I would be doing any heavy lifting. Unboxing books, kitchenware and like activities will be my new tasks from here on in.
Absolutely. Enough is enough! My husband has had a bad back for years, and there will be no lifting or moving for him, not for us and not for our kids or friends. I lift our rowing machine myself to anchor it to the wall because I don’t want him doing it.
Last fall, my youngest daughter moved into a new-build house that was just skim-coated drywall, with no painting whatsoever. I volunteered to triple-coat the whole house… never again!
Well, we gotta call it somethin’. Yes, it’s an easy answer to the question what do you do or what business are you in, without going into a lengthy explanation.
We do all find our new direction after trading in the work days at the office for NOT going there anymore.
”I was formerly a Comptroller, a rocket scientist, an attorney…”!?
Don’t ask my DW about her former career as a nurse. She will get downright indignant if you suggest that she USED To BE a nurse! She is STILL a Nurse, just no longer working in a hospital or formal healthcare setting. Just ask any of our family or friends who still consult her on any type of medical or health issue!
I wouldn’t get hung up on semantics of what we call our time after our formal careers end….other than GREAT!
I have a dear friend here in town who worked as a nurse but hasn’t been employed as one for decades, other than being a caregiver for her dear mother in her final years with Parkinson’s. Practically every time I’m talking to her, at least once she’ll say, “Well, as a nurse, I know that…”–definitely a huge and permanent part of her identity.
Maybe we should revive the old Victorian term: “independent gentleman” or “gentlewoman.”
For our US friends “tubing through London” presumably isn’t floating the Thames like a lazy river in an inflatable ring, beer in hand?
I have an aversion to the word “retired” maybe not as much as the word “pensioner” – maybe because of its traditional associations being perhaps a bit “one foot in the grave”. Indeed retirement only really became a thing in the second half of the 20th century and really people were not expected to be spending a long time retired rather than useful production units.
I also struggle with retired as an adjective attached to a previous career. I know people are often proud of their previous careers but I fear for many it comes across as trying to retain status which is no longer especially relevant. Plus does it really help you to look forward and make the most of the third act?
I think I’d rather answer the question “What did/do you do?” with “I am an artist, photographer, explorer, investor….” rather than “retired XXXX”.
“tubing through London” presumably isn’t floating the Thames like a lazy river in an inflatable ring, beer in hand?……if only, that would be fun 😂
Not to say life threatening, Weil’s disease et al…. 😉