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I was having breakfast recently in a small cafe when three people were seated at the next table. The server handed out menus and a woman asked her, “Between the pancakes, waffles and French toast, which is the best?”
I felt like saying, what a dumb question, but the quiet, reserved me said nothing. They are three different things and the “best” is highly dependent on personal taste.
I was waiting for the customer to say, I don’t really like French toast, but if you think it’s the best, I’ll have that. “Should I have it with bacon, sausage or Taylor ham (a NJ thing).”
Coming in second in my book of silly questions is asking a server which item on the menu they like. I intensely dislike coconut so that cream pie is out of the question, but perhaps it’s your favorite. Now you are having chocolate cake instead.
All this is like asking which hot tip on a stock should I pick. Or maybe asking me what percentage of pre-retirement pay you need to replace in retirement 🤣.
Do I need a million dollars to retire? You tell me. How much income do you want/need and for how long – among other considerations.
If there is any place you can read about diversity of thought and action, it is on HD. Readers seem to set a goal, do some research, take some advice and take responsibility for their decisions. That is not typical in the real world. More common is asking advice without a plan to reach a stated goal, i.e. pancake or waffle based on no criteria and an irrelevant opinion.
Yes, I’m cynical, but I think most people want to take the easy route and then complain about where it took them. The future state of retirement for many Americans is questionable at best. Maybe asking dumb (or no) questions and no effort at a plan is part of the problem.
Having been a waiter at an authentic Greek restaurant in Baltimore during my college years, I can say that I appreciated when customers asked me for my favorites. I knew what was good and what was mediocre and I suggested what I thought people would really love. If they were meat lovers I would suggest the lamb kapama, if the loved fish the broiled tsipoura and if they were vegetarian the spinach pie and Greek style green beans and potatoes cooked in a pot.
I’m currently staying with my mother, and we just had breakfast, which was served on plates featuring New Yorker cartoons. My plate had a waiter telling two diners, “Might I suggest the most expensive wine and the most expensive dinner?”
I don’t ask what the server likes best, as I don’t care so much what they prefer, but I’ll often say ‘I’m trying to decide between A,B or C’ which in some cases will provoke some interesting insights about how they are prepared.
Dick, I think you are being somewhat cynical… Some folks will ask servers opinions about menu items as oftentimes a particular item may be prepared differently or “special” that the customer may be interested in. The question is simply a method to open dialogue to find out more info regarding a topic- in this case food. YMMV…
Hmm. Sometimes people just ask for the sake of establishing some social interaction with their server rather than they really need to know the answer. Sometimes people are happy with the “random walk” nature of recommendations. Let’s face it the choice between batter products and pork products is unlikely to be lifechanging within a single establishment.
It’s hard to say this is evidence of shirking wider responsibility in life. The reason people fall short on things like retirement planning is far more complex including things like life events, saving capacity, time horizons, social pressures to live in the now and the fact that big consequential financial decisions are hard and commitment takes discipline for uncertain rewards.
I frequently ask my server what their favorite is. Doesn’t mean I have to get it. But it can be a fun and interesting conversation.
Of all the things to be riled up about… Though some might say the same about my view of people refusing to use turn signals.
One of my pet peeves with NC drivers. Along with hogging the fast lane.
I don’t recall NC drivers but Florida drivers are the worst hands downs . This winter I came close a few times to ending up in a ditch. Once at 70 mph I was cut off with literally inches to spare and speed limits mean nothing.
Twice recently I’ve had to slam on the brakes because an idiot turned left right in front of me. It’s one thing to be invisible when I’m walking around, quite another when I’m driving.
No wonder our insurance is so expensive.
Agreed on Florida drivers, it’s shocking. And don’t even get started on all the bad behaviors of drivers across the country. Constant speeding, running red lights and rolling stops, not looking for pedestrians or bikes, and the unbelievable amount of phone use. Heck, I feel like Americans careless driving habits might be a better parallel for generally poor financial behavior? 😛😂
Believe it or not I was thinking of writing a post on that parallel.
Please do!
I’ve asked servers about the menu plenty of times. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a bad rec. It depends on the place. I’d have to have a sense that the staff really knew (so eliminate chains right away).
Caveat emptor: if you ask a server for a recommendation, you may get the item that needs to move before it spoils.
There you go again you grumpy old man. I don’t like to criticize the questions people come up with, but I must confess they cause me to sometimes scratch my head in wonder. As for people oftentimes not even making an effort at a plan…. You nailed it Richard. Keep these rants coming.
Ditto to keeping the commentary coming! It may get me worked up sometimes, but I do enjoy the debate!
You should visit my blog if you really want to get worked up. 😎
I love to make broad generalizations as much as the next guy, but there’s so much more nuance in the real world. If by the real world you are referring to YouTube or tiktok videos of people getting grilled over their financial situation, naturally the chosen participants are going to be those who are most deplorable, because that makes us feel smug and superior. I can’t think of many instances where people I’ve spoken with in the real world we’re actually making dumb, unreasonable decisions. Many were simply doing the best they could with the resources they had at hand. Perhaps throw a foot over the fence rather than scorn next time you’re at a restaurant. You might end up surprised.
You lost me on this. I think you may need to expand your feedback horizon a bit.
For one I don’t buy the argument about asking the server their opinion on items on the menu, servers have often tried most items on the menu and actually do have reasonable feedback. So their recommendations are certainly not irrelevant.
As for people being dumb and not planning, that seems to me more prominent on the internet than in my own experience of the real world. I know people who prioritize paying for other things above retirement, like their kids education for example, and I can’t necessarily fault them for it. I wouldn’t call what they do thoughtless. Is it the ideal choice? Perhaps not, but then again we don’t live in an ideal world.
I just think you’re coming in a little heavy on the criticism, which we know makes for good engagement. I would love a little more compassion and a little less blame and shame. We have enough trouble these days.
I agree as well. Seems to me the server has a pretty good view of which dishes are done particularly well and which might be mediocre. I remember in Colorado on a road trip I asked a server about dessert recommendations. She recommended something I would never normally order but she had explained it was something they’re known for. Sure enough, it was great. Since then I’ve ordered it on a few subsequent trips.
Agree. If the restaurant is new to you, asking what’s most popular on the menu is perfectly reasonable. You don’t have to choose it if it’s something you don’t like, but otherwise it’s a good starting point. So is asking where the oysters came from, or whether they are fresh today. One of the restaurants in my community can be hit or miss with some veggies – why would I not ask ask how they are today?
Re: The future state of retirement for many Americans is questionable at best. Depending upon the source, the amount the Boomers are expected to bequeath to their children is $68 Trillion or more. One recent article stated that “In the course of the next 20 years, an astounding $84 trillion is expected to change hands as older Americans pass assets on to younger generations.” Some surveys indicate that only 25% will do this, while others prefer the “die with zero” philosophy. It would seem that up to $50 trillion will be spent and injected into economies. Any remainder will be in the form of real estate transfers. A portion will, of course be spent on health care and long-term care. That is a lot of money!
As to ordering the best at a restaurant, I frequently ask about the specials or the specialty of the house. Using this approach I generally get good food, sometimes excellent and G has come to admit that that this approach works well.
The retirement prospects of those beneficiaries are looking really good no doubt!
I too consider specials as I think they may be the freshest. But you make your own decision, right?
Yes, I do make my own decision. Sometimes I order from the list of specials and sometimes I don’t.