I think the larger point Mark makes is we all take on tasks in our life that could be outsourced and free up our time for other more meaningful pursuits in life. I just hired a landscaping firm to take over yard maintenance. I never minded tending to the yard, but have realized that several times over the past few years I may have enjoyed an afternoon on the bike trail, beach, or socializing with friends rather than mowing my lawn. I could certainly save a few thousand a year DIY my yard work, but I’m looking forward to enjoying the time not spent in the yard on other pursuits. As Mark quoted Jonathan “money is a tool to lead a happy life, not an end unto itself”… I believe most folks can find tasks that are somewhat unpleasant (maybe not as bad as cutting up an oil tank!) but still do because of inertia, or a continuing need to be frugal.
Mark, I would say your wife's (and now yours?) advisor got somewhat lucky, though at the time, with bond funds yielding under 1%, many folks did realize that bond fund returns were going to be challenging starting in the fall of 2021- If I recall, Jonathan wrote a few pieces about the ultra low yields of bond funds at the time, which woke me up to consider changing my approach with bonds, which I did. Whether you should continue the relationship with the advisor is a tricky one- it seems he wants all of your business (dropping his fee for AUM), and if you pre-decease your wife, she already knows him for better or worse, which isn't a bad thing. I'm slightly older than you, and have a wife that is somewhat savvy figuring things out, but has left me to do all things financial in the household due to my background in finance when working. I will likely transition to a flat fee advisor in the next 3-5 years so she/we have a relationship with an advisor/team she/we can trust as we age, and possibly have a better partner in making financial decisions than our future selves. The challenge will be finding someone like minded in our financial approach. Just last week, I had an assigned advisory team at Fidelity make a pitch to manage our taxable account and invest it in a direct indexing scheme, in spite of having to pay a nearly 7 figure capital gain on the holdings in the account. They felt the taxes would be offset in a few years by tax loss harvesting, and superior returns than a straight indexing approach. I told my wife to never/ever let Fidelity advisors manage our taxable account (and likely any other account). Anyways, it seems like you and your wife are on some sort of stable path with an advisor- the main issue would be is the advisor significantly younger than you so you don't face the prospect of a significant change in personality/approach should your current advisor retire just when you need him most.
Well said Martin. I agree with everything you stated. I always read Adams’s Saturday posts which are always excellent, but over the past 4-5 months had found the multiple post content on the rest of the site to be somewhat off topic at times (not personal finance related) and found myself drifting away from reading the site except for Saturday.
Kinda my point about being too sensitive. There are bigger issues in the world than worrying about someone’s up or down vote on a blog. I believe the whole issue started with a few complainers about the downvotes, and it snowballed from there. The downvote issue was a non-issue until then.
I would say (at least from my perspective) that I sometimes did comment when using the down arrow, but oftentimes did not if I was in agreement with others that already said what I agreed with- no sense in cluttering up the board with similar dialogue! As I previously said, I believe doing away with the down arrows will take away the general sense of agreement/disagreement on responses to a topic. If the board moderator prefers to do so- that's his/her decision. I think some perspective is lost with the recent change, and I think it's an accommodation to folks that are too sensitive about the arrows.
I support the downvote, as it gives a person an overall sense of how the community feels about a discussion point within a topic. The main topic (not messages about the topic) is already subject to only upvotes. I personally think some folks are too thin skinned about the feedback their messages generate. I think removing the downvote will only contribute to the proliferation of non relevant topics/messages posted on this site.
My parent did pay for a portion of his care- all of his monthly income including SS, Pension and RMD paid for his care, before Medicaid paid their portion to the NH. We were only utilizing government benefits to the extent allowed by the program. In my parent's case, his monthly obligation probably paid for about 75% of the actual NH billing. The SNT allowed us to provide additional resources to my parent such as a private room and additional agency help. I don't feel you should necessarily judge the use of a government program without fully knowing the details of the family situation- each one is quite different.
I don’t have experience with MAPT, but did use a Supplemental Needs Trust for an elderly parent that did end up on Medicaid in a nursing home setting, after several years in assisted living. The move to a nursing home was needed due to a higher need for nursing care. The SNT use was suggested by the family’s elder care attorney, and it worked out the way the attorney said it would to qualify for Medicaid. The SNT preserved the assets for the family members use, but they did not own the assets. Use of a SNT may not work for all families, but it did for us. The SNT was created upon the death of one parent who had the family assets in their name at their passing.
I wouldn’t be crazy about a big fallback, but it’s why I rebalance periodically according to my IPS. Pruning my gains helps reduce impacts from a correction when it happens, though it also mutes potential gains should markets continue to run up. I subscribe to the thought that “pigs get fat, but hogs get slaughtered”…
Comments
I think the larger point Mark makes is we all take on tasks in our life that could be outsourced and free up our time for other more meaningful pursuits in life. I just hired a landscaping firm to take over yard maintenance. I never minded tending to the yard, but have realized that several times over the past few years I may have enjoyed an afternoon on the bike trail, beach, or socializing with friends rather than mowing my lawn. I could certainly save a few thousand a year DIY my yard work, but I’m looking forward to enjoying the time not spent in the yard on other pursuits. As Mark quoted Jonathan “money is a tool to lead a happy life, not an end unto itself”… I believe most folks can find tasks that are somewhat unpleasant (maybe not as bad as cutting up an oil tank!) but still do because of inertia, or a continuing need to be frugal.
Post: Scent of a Cheapskate: Frugality Gone Wrong
Link to comment from April 17, 2026
Mark, I would say your wife's (and now yours?) advisor got somewhat lucky, though at the time, with bond funds yielding under 1%, many folks did realize that bond fund returns were going to be challenging starting in the fall of 2021- If I recall, Jonathan wrote a few pieces about the ultra low yields of bond funds at the time, which woke me up to consider changing my approach with bonds, which I did. Whether you should continue the relationship with the advisor is a tricky one- it seems he wants all of your business (dropping his fee for AUM), and if you pre-decease your wife, she already knows him for better or worse, which isn't a bad thing. I'm slightly older than you, and have a wife that is somewhat savvy figuring things out, but has left me to do all things financial in the household due to my background in finance when working. I will likely transition to a flat fee advisor in the next 3-5 years so she/we have a relationship with an advisor/team she/we can trust as we age, and possibly have a better partner in making financial decisions than our future selves. The challenge will be finding someone like minded in our financial approach. Just last week, I had an assigned advisory team at Fidelity make a pitch to manage our taxable account and invest it in a direct indexing scheme, in spite of having to pay a nearly 7 figure capital gain on the holdings in the account. They felt the taxes would be offset in a few years by tax loss harvesting, and superior returns than a straight indexing approach. I told my wife to never/ever let Fidelity advisors manage our taxable account (and likely any other account). Anyways, it seems like you and your wife are on some sort of stable path with an advisor- the main issue would be is the advisor significantly younger than you so you don't face the prospect of a significant change in personality/approach should your current advisor retire just when you need him most.
Post: One Good Call?
Link to comment from April 14, 2026
Well said Martin. I agree with everything you stated. I always read Adams’s Saturday posts which are always excellent, but over the past 4-5 months had found the multiple post content on the rest of the site to be somewhat off topic at times (not personal finance related) and found myself drifting away from reading the site except for Saturday.
Post: Note to HD Writers and Contributors
Link to comment from April 5, 2026
Agree. Seems that some "moderation" is going on.
Post: Where are the ladies?
Link to comment from March 28, 2026
Kinda my point about being too sensitive. There are bigger issues in the world than worrying about someone’s up or down vote on a blog. I believe the whole issue started with a few complainers about the downvotes, and it snowballed from there. The downvote issue was a non-issue until then.
Post: Let the Arrows Speak for Themselves
Link to comment from March 28, 2026
I would say (at least from my perspective) that I sometimes did comment when using the down arrow, but oftentimes did not if I was in agreement with others that already said what I agreed with- no sense in cluttering up the board with similar dialogue! As I previously said, I believe doing away with the down arrows will take away the general sense of agreement/disagreement on responses to a topic. If the board moderator prefers to do so- that's his/her decision. I think some perspective is lost with the recent change, and I think it's an accommodation to folks that are too sensitive about the arrows.
Post: Let the Arrows Speak for Themselves
Link to comment from March 28, 2026
I support the downvote, as it gives a person an overall sense of how the community feels about a discussion point within a topic. The main topic (not messages about the topic) is already subject to only upvotes. I personally think some folks are too thin skinned about the feedback their messages generate. I think removing the downvote will only contribute to the proliferation of non relevant topics/messages posted on this site.
Post: Let the Arrows Speak for Themselves
Link to comment from March 28, 2026
My parent did pay for a portion of his care- all of his monthly income including SS, Pension and RMD paid for his care, before Medicaid paid their portion to the NH. We were only utilizing government benefits to the extent allowed by the program. In my parent's case, his monthly obligation probably paid for about 75% of the actual NH billing. The SNT allowed us to provide additional resources to my parent such as a private room and additional agency help. I don't feel you should necessarily judge the use of a government program without fully knowing the details of the family situation- each one is quite different.
Post: Medicaid Asset Protection Trusts (MAPTs)
Link to comment from March 19, 2026
I don’t have experience with MAPT, but did use a Supplemental Needs Trust for an elderly parent that did end up on Medicaid in a nursing home setting, after several years in assisted living. The move to a nursing home was needed due to a higher need for nursing care. The SNT use was suggested by the family’s elder care attorney, and it worked out the way the attorney said it would to qualify for Medicaid. The SNT preserved the assets for the family members use, but they did not own the assets. Use of a SNT may not work for all families, but it did for us. The SNT was created upon the death of one parent who had the family assets in their name at their passing.
Post: Medicaid Asset Protection Trusts (MAPTs)
Link to comment from March 18, 2026
I wouldn’t be crazy about a big fallback, but it’s why I rebalance periodically according to my IPS. Pruning my gains helps reduce impacts from a correction when it happens, though it also mutes potential gains should markets continue to run up. I subscribe to the thought that “pigs get fat, but hogs get slaughtered”…
Post: How Far Back Would a 40% Drop Take Us?
Link to comment from February 26, 2026