In my opinion, No, parents are absolutely not under any obligation to pay all or a portion of college education. My family was unable to help and made no preparations for my higher education. Knowing that I was on my own made me value every class so much more….I only missed class twice in college, both times because I was sick. I figured that I was paying for this education, so I didn’t want to miss any of it. I got scholarships, worked a part-time job, and in general, just made it happen. I see too many kids who are treating college like a 4 year, all expense paid vacation. They graduate emotionally and financially immature, and they’re underprepared for the adult world and incapable of being resourceful. For the sake of raising competent, capable adults, I wish more parents either would choose not to pay or to only pay a portion of the college experience (say for the first 2 years, or $20,000/yr. contribution).
Grew up in a large family, one of 7 and knew that I had to make it on my own. I have had a pretty much full time job since I was 16. Bought my first car, making payments to my father. Got married much too early and had a son at 20. Divorced after 6 years. Went to a local tech school for a couple of years in electronics but never put that to use. Working for Celenese Fiber at the time was promoted to supervisor and dropped out of school. Saw an opportunity in Atlanta a few years later and moved there at 26. Started North GA college at night and worked my way up to plant manager and eventally VP Mfg. Retired 4 years ago with a heathy portfolio, no pension but no real worries about income either. Never finished that degree although I checked on it recently and can go back to a Georgia institution for free and I have enough credits for an associates. We all are not meant for college.
My short answer is Nope but let me explain.Our 3 kids went on to college with the knowledge and skill set and study habits to excell that was honed into them mainly by my wife through grades 1-12. You see, we tried to set them up for success by providing them the best elementary, middle and high school public education classes and teachers that we could fight for. Over those 12 impressionable years in each of their lives we made sure each of them was challenged in each and every class. We may have been the only parents who scheduled parent / teacher meetings to discuss grades that needed to be changed from an “A” to a “C”. On this occasion one of my sons 6th grade english lit papers received an “A” for a paper that was barely a “C”. The teaching team as we met were floored when we handed the paper back to the and had red lined all of the writing mistakes, spelling mistakes and poor penmanship. We had demanded tougher grading for him. I can still remember the deer in the headlights look when we demanded his lit paper grade be changed from an “A to a “C”. My wife was on a first name basis with our public school board members which I’m sure they all enjoyed their one on one meetings with her over the years. So, we provided the basic skill set for them to educate themselves through college and thrive. Two of our three kids received sports scholarships to play baseball and soccer to help pay for college. We supplemented the remainder for beer and fun food I’m sure so that they would graduate college debt free. In addition, two of the three received the hope scholarship. Here in Georgia the State lottery pays for academics, and books as long as the student maintains a “B” average through their 4 years. Our tough love approach was, if you lose the hope scholarship because you didn’t study, the additional costs are on you. Both kept the hope through 4 years of achedemia. Today One kid is an attorney, one is a Biomedical Engineer, and one is a RN. It all started at kindergarten. That was our parental obligation started.
Our family subscribes to the idea that college / vocational training costs beyond HS should be considered as a “hand up” – not a hand-out. A parental “safety net”, if you will, but not a hammock to lay in for 4 years while our child attends State U. Things that come free we tend to take for granted and place little emotional importance in during the tough times that are bound to occur during one’s post-HS education journey.
Each of our kids had a contract of sorts with my wife and I. It was reviewed each year during HS. We agreed to a 70/30 plan if they attended a quality state-subsidized public university or community college, with any merit or scholarship money they earned being used to offset their 30% cost obligation. The would work summer jobs during HS and while in college to pay the rest. The same approach was used for private colleges, but it was a 60/40 split. The private school tuition being generally higher would mean that our child would need take on some college loan debt.
My older son went the state school route, while his younger sister went to a private college (indeed – she is graduating this very day). Her private college tuition was greatly reduced by her negotiating some added scholarship money after a stellar first year on campus. She graduates debt free (like her brother at State U) as a result of her hard work and her ability to negotiate. I’m confident that this would not have been the result had we indicated early on that we’d be willing pay her full cost of college. Necessity is the mother of invention!
Admittedly, I’m not sure our approach was the best one – but the early results for both kids seem favorable.
In my opinion, No, parents are absolutely not under any obligation to pay all or a portion of college education. My family was unable to help and made no preparations for my higher education. Knowing that I was on my own made me value every class so much more….I only missed class twice in college, both times because I was sick. I figured that I was paying for this education, so I didn’t want to miss any of it. I got scholarships, worked a part-time job, and in general, just made it happen. I see too many kids who are treating college like a 4 year, all expense paid vacation. They graduate emotionally and financially immature, and they’re underprepared for the adult world and incapable of being resourceful. For the sake of raising competent, capable adults, I wish more parents either would choose not to pay or to only pay a portion of the college experience (say for the first 2 years, or $20,000/yr. contribution).
Grew up in a large family, one of 7 and knew that I had to make it on my own. I have had a pretty much full time job since I was 16. Bought my first car, making payments to my father. Got married much too early and had a son at 20. Divorced after 6 years. Went to a local tech school for a couple of years in electronics but never put that to use. Working for Celenese Fiber at the time was promoted to supervisor and dropped out of school. Saw an opportunity in Atlanta a few years later and moved there at 26. Started North GA college at night and worked my way up to plant manager and eventally VP Mfg. Retired 4 years ago with a heathy portfolio, no pension but no real worries about income either. Never finished that degree although I checked on it recently and can go back to a Georgia institution for free and I have enough credits for an associates. We all are not meant for college.
My short answer is Nope but let me explain.Our 3 kids went on to college with the knowledge and skill set and study habits to excell that was honed into them mainly by my wife through grades 1-12. You see, we tried to set them up for success by providing them the best elementary, middle and high school public education classes and teachers that we could fight for. Over those 12 impressionable years in each of their lives we made sure each of them was challenged in each and every class. We may have been the only parents who scheduled parent / teacher meetings to discuss grades that needed to be changed from an “A” to a “C”. On this occasion one of my sons 6th grade english lit papers received an “A” for a paper that was barely a “C”. The teaching team as we met were floored when we handed the paper back to the and had red lined all of the writing mistakes, spelling mistakes and poor penmanship. We had demanded tougher grading for him. I can still remember the deer in the headlights look when we demanded his lit paper grade be changed from an “A to a “C”. My wife was on a first name basis with our public school board members which I’m sure they all enjoyed their one on one meetings with her over the years. So, we provided the basic skill set for them to educate themselves through college and thrive. Two of our three kids received sports scholarships to play baseball and soccer to help pay for college. We supplemented the remainder for beer and fun food I’m sure so that they would graduate college debt free. In addition, two of the three received the hope scholarship. Here in Georgia the State lottery pays for academics, and books as long as the student maintains a “B” average through their 4 years. Our tough love approach was, if you lose the hope scholarship because you didn’t study, the additional costs are on you. Both kept the hope through 4 years of achedemia. Today One kid is an attorney, one is a Biomedical Engineer, and one is a RN. It all started at kindergarten. That was our parental obligation started.
Our family subscribes to the idea that college / vocational training costs beyond HS should be considered as a “hand up” – not a hand-out. A parental “safety net”, if you will, but not a hammock to lay in for 4 years while our child attends State U. Things that come free we tend to take for granted and place little emotional importance in during the tough times that are bound to occur during one’s post-HS education journey.
Each of our kids had a contract of sorts with my wife and I. It was reviewed each year during HS. We agreed to a 70/30 plan if they attended a quality state-subsidized public university or community college, with any merit or scholarship money they earned being used to offset their 30% cost obligation. The would work summer jobs during HS and while in college to pay the rest. The same approach was used for private colleges, but it was a 60/40 split. The private school tuition being generally higher would mean that our child would need take on some college loan debt.
My older son went the state school route, while his younger sister went to a private college (indeed – she is graduating this very day). Her private college tuition was greatly reduced by her negotiating some added scholarship money after a stellar first year on campus. She graduates debt free (like her brother at State U) as a result of her hard work and her ability to negotiate. I’m confident that this would not have been the result had we indicated early on that we’d be willing pay her full cost of college. Necessity is the mother of invention!
Admittedly, I’m not sure our approach was the best one – but the early results for both kids seem favorable.