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I was out of college for seven years before I got married. During all those years, I lived in the same apartment located on the edge of Lancaster, PA. I occasionally had friends who were in transition bunk with me for a month or two, but for the most part I lived alone. I liked living a relatively simple life and having control of my environment.
The apartment started out with a sofa ($300), chair ($50), and two paintings-all selected by my parents. They were retirees and were happy to take on the task of furnishing my apartment while I finished up my degree a few states away. I paid them for the items they selected and added my bookcase, stereo, and bed from my childhood home. My dad made me a kitchen table, provided as a college graduation gift along with four matching chairs.
I didn’t add a lot to this stock of material goods in those seven years. I never owned a television. I eventually splurged on a nice shortwave radio (Radio Shack model DX-440), an electronic keyboard, and a selection of Far Side comic books to keep visitors entertained in my TV-less pad. My single years were fairly unencumbered with “stuff”, allowing me to have an active social life.
Fast forward to life today. Our suburban house is filled with the accumulations of three decades of family life. One wall of our basement is lined with boxes of toys that used to be my children’s treasures. Dozens of storage bins sit on racks, holding items as disparate as my father’s World War II service records, my high school memorabilia, and a variety of seldom-used household items. There’s a couple dozen carousels containing family slides from the 1960s, along with a projector that still worked the last time I checked. I have a set of small street signs my dad crafted for me as a youngster to make riding my spider bike more interesting. We have over a thousand books. Our walk-in closet is jammed with clothes. You get the picture.
I’m almost 62. I tell myself I still have time to deal with downsizing issues at a later date. I’m still working part-time, so I can be excused for kicking the can down the road. My good intentions to nibble away at the pile a bit each year have never gotten very far along.
I fear someday a reckoning is coming.
As I read through all the comments after a few days, it is apparent we Americans have too much stuff and too many places to put it.
We should live with 1930 size closets and actually use the garage for a car. Maybe a surtax on storage units could bail out Social Security😎
We just downsized from a 3,000 square foot home to a 1,200 square foot condo a mile and a half away. We began the “purge” about six months ago when we started looking to move. It was a lot easier to do it over time. People ask why we chose to do this now in our late 40s instead of waiting until we’re older. Well, I’ve seen a lot of people get swallowed up by their stuff when I’d rather spend my time and money on experiences instead of things. I’m happy to report that I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted since we are now down to only the essentials in our new home. It may not be for everyone but it was the right decision for us. I will add that we are a childfree couple so that made the decision to purge/move a lot easier.
I forgot to mention we purchased a highly regarded photo scanner during the recent Amazon Prime Day. My wife has started the process of digitizing many storage bins of photos !
That opens up another can of worms. I already have 10K photos hiding on my computer, don’t think I want to take the time to add hundreds more. Actually thinking maybe I should go in the other direction and make a Shutterfly book from the best of the computer photos.
There is no simple solution to the problem of multiple generations of treasured photos. My wife’s coworkers gave her a digital frame when she retired. It is a huge hit. Our grandsons love to watch and see themselves, their family, cousins, aunts, Uncles, … It’s nice to see my parents wedding photo pop up, or my in-laws with our children. I think placing multiple frames around the house might be the answer.
I think you’re right. We don’t have any digital frames (yet) but when I see them in friends’ houses I always think they are a great idea. I’m also the custodian of family photos from the 19th century and early 20th. No desire to put them into a digital frame but I can’t see myself tossing them either.
Having moved six times in the last 15 years means I don’t have a lot of ‘stuff’. I’ve never been much of an accumulator–quite the opposite actually.
Please don’t put off downsizing any longer. Donate the toys, donate the clothes and donate the books. Slides can be sent to a company that will scan them and put the photos on a DVD or on a cloud storage site.
I’m sure the job can seem overwhelming right now, but if you just pledge to purge a few things every day, you can make good progress.
Comments like yours and others are motivating me to hit the basement this week. One difference between you and me is that we’ve only moved once in the last 30 years and hope to avoid moving again for another decade or two.
My record for living in one location is 10 years. I get ‘itchy’ to move every two or three years and actually look forward to changing locations. I’ve had 12 or 13 different addresses since graduating from college.
I think the key to downsizing is to set small (very small) goals at first. Pick one box and work your way through it. And be brutal. Most paper items (photos, certificates, a kid’s artwork) can be easily scanned and/or photographed and kept as a digital memory.
That’s also our record (by far), and ironically it was the place we least wanted to be. So after the first few years we were always looking to move, and gradually lightening the load as a result.
What my mom did when she wanted to clear out all of her kids stuff was give us all one month’s notice to come get what we wanted or it would all be donated. Turns out not only do we not want our parents stuff, we really didn’t want any of ours either.
I still remember the ” peace sign” cinder blocks and plywood boards I used as bookcases in my 20s😉
At age 62, we downsized from a 3000 sq ft house to a 350 sq ft motorhome to travel for 5 years. We sold, (for pennies on the dollar), gave away to friends and family, and donated to various agencies virtually all our stuff. Pro tip: your kids will want almost none of it! Trust me, you have less time than you think.
Mike, do you have thoughts on how you’ll “refurnish” when you go back to living in a more traditional space? I suspect your thoughts on what you need/want have evolved during your travels. Ours certainly have.
We actually built our retirement home 3 years ago. Since its just me, my wife, and the dog now, (3 sons in their 30s) NOT accumulating excess stuff is much easier. Close to 2 of our sons and grandkids. The most painful part of reestablishing a residence is having to buy necessary things again that we gave away 6 years ago, lol. We now have a campervan we travel with about 4 months out of the year. Currently in the Yukon Territory on our way back from Alaska.
Sounds like a good result. I expect we’re going to find ourselves in the same boat someday, but if it takes us six years we’ll be happy to go get whatever we need rather than have stored it that long. Now if we were to establish a little pied-a-terre in the near future and have to buy for that, well, so be it.
This is a good question. We downsized dramatically when we moved tot he beach, and then had to refurnish a new house last year. There are a few things I would have kept from the original PA house. But we didn’t know our next step at the time.
We disposed of a lot when we became nomadic but nevertheless have a good sized storage unit of stuff (that we haven’t seen since). Like you, we didn’t know our next step. For all we knew, we might have settled somewhere in a few months. Now we’re considering a trip back there to dispose of much of what’s left, and maybe relocate a bit to somewhere we actually pass through occasionally so we get some use out of it.
Ken, when we downsized we donate a lot good stuff to our local Habitat for Humanity ReStore. Volunteers picked up some tools and furniture. We also gave a lot to Goodwill and the St. Vincent DePaul Society (my grandfather was named Vincent DePaul!).
Great story, Ken. For years my bachelor furnishings consisted of a mattress on the floor, a recliner, small table and TV in the living room, and an overstuffed bookcase. Sofa? Forget it. (No wonder women weren’t enthused about visiting.)
My wife and I have never been “accumulators” of anything but books — hers mostly Buddhist tracts in Chinese — and two interstate moves in seven years streamlined us further as we didn’t want to pay for transporting useless stuff.
I would point out that your “someday” reckoning could come for you next week… or for your stricken family in the weeks after your passing. Having seen it with my own dad and uncles, I suggest you not wait. Begin now, a bit at a time.
I’m sure there is a charity shop near you that would be happy to take a lot of that stuff off your hands. I was a regular at mine for a few weeks, and I had a lot less stuff than you seem to.
We have a charity shop a mile away that receives several carloads of stuff a year from us. Harder to deal with is the stuff that’s actually owned by our kids. That will eventually work itself out….
there are also Facebook Buy Nothing groups where one can donate items to people who want/need them.
About twenty years ago, my father arrived at my home with his pick up truck about half full of antique tools and other clutter than I knew had been stored in an attic space over his garage. With an amused tone he said, “Son, when my mother moved from our family home, I brought my father’s tools to my house and have stored them these 50 years. Now it’s your turn.” Along with the stuff from my maternal grandparents, I have quite a collection interesting, but useless memorabilia that is more of a burden than an blessing. I have a growing yearning for the lightness of a lean list of material goods.
That’s why I can never understand the enthusiasm older folks have for antiqueing or doing the American Picker thing or building up collections of whatever. Unless it is valued by the next generations it’s likely to be sold for cents on the $ at best. Better cash in on my old videogames and vinyl now while there are still enough nerds/ hipsters to want them
I suggest starting in 20 to 30 minute segments per day if you don’t want to start doing it or 1 hour a day on weekends, once you start you won’t want to stop, or tackle it early in the day when you’re fresh if it’s a task you don’t want to do.
My goal is to rehome, repurpose, or toss one item per day. Don’t feel ambitious? The item can be small. Or very ambitious? Do several items per day, and grant yourself some days off (but resume by the next week). I’ve whittled down quite a bit this way.
Good suggestions, thanks.
or even just one shelf at a time.
Oh it is, trust me. I couldn’t face downsizing and moving to our condo because I could not face dealing with what you describe.
Once there was no choice it was a long and painful process.
Start today‼️