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I always loved newspapers. I even gave reporting a try back in 11th grade on my high school paper. It didn’t last long—I struggled with deadlines and once botched the front page with a layout mistake called a “tombstone,” where two headlines sit side by side and confuse readers. Still, that didn’t stop me from becoming a devoted reader over the years.
Recently, I came across an article from The USA Today that hit close to home for me. It reveals that many Americans are now spending nearly four hours a day thinking about money. Some of their concerns are bills, inflation, and housing costs. Although I have different financial concerns, I find myself thinking more about money, too.
What kind of money issues are on my mind? Here are three that keep coming up:
1. Should we be doing more to help my stepson?
I’ve mostly tried to stay in my lane when it comes to finances and my stepson. My wife raised him, and she’s done an amazing job. I’ve never raised a kid myself, so I figure she knows best. He’s got a good job, he’s responsible, hardworking, and completely self-sufficient. He’s never asked us for money, but sometimes I wonder if we could do a little more to make things easier for him.
The only time I really spoke up was around Christmas. We gave the neighbor’s sons the same amount of money we gave him, and that just didn’t feel right to me. We ended up giving him more, which I think was the right call.
I think my wife’s take is that he’s doing fine, so there’s no need to mess with that. And honestly, she’s probably right. He’s independent—just like she is—and even if we offered help, he might not take it. But still, I’d like to try. We live comfortably, and if we can make his life a little easier, why not? At the end of the day, though, I trust her judgment. She knows him best.
That question—about offering help when it’s not strictly needed—has me thinking more about Rachel and me. What about when we’re the ones who might need help down the road? That brings me to our next financial conundrum: should we move into a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) while we’re still healthy, or wait until assistance becomes a necessity?
2. Weighing the CCRC option while we’re still independent.
Lately, I’ve been thinking more seriously about whether we should move to a CCRC. But realistically, I’m starting to accept that it’s unlikely to happen.
We love our home and our life, and as long as we can live independently, we’re not eager to give that up. But I also know that waiting too long could close that door—some communities have strict medical screenings, and we may not qualify if we wait until we need assistance. Not to mention the long wait times at some CCRCs.
Even if we were accepted, the financial picture doesn’t really add up. We’d probably only qualify for a Type C, or fee-for-service, contract. That means no guaranteed lifetime care. Entrance fees may be lower, but monthly fees are high, and we’d paying full market rates for assisted living, memory care, or nursing care.
If and when we do need help, it might make more sense to move to a community that offers care without requiring an upfront fee. Yes, we’d still pay market rates, but we’d be doing that anyway at a CCRC. And if we need extra support navigating the healthcare system, we could always hire a healthcare advocate.
For now, we’re choosing to stay where we are. But the question of future care is one we’ll keep revisiting.
3. What’s going on in the stock market?
I’ve been thinking about the stock market more often this year, which is unusual for me. The uncertainty surrounding the tariffs hasn’t kept the market from reaching new highs this year. Our savings have been flirting with a personal best.
We have some extra cash from my required minimum distribution that I was thinking about putting into the stock market. But is that a smart move given how high valuations are right now? It seems like everyone’s buying stocks—corporations are spending billions on buybacks, and workers of all ages are putting a record portion of their 401(k)s into stocks. More and more people are buying the dips these days.
But you have to wonder: would people be this enthusiastic if we were coming out of a 10-year bear market? It seems like people prefer buying at record highs rather than when stocks are actually on sale. Maybe because it feels safer when the crowd is buying. So far, it’s worked out. But that doesn’t mean it always will.
Money might not be the only thing on my mind these days, but it’s definitely taken up more space than it used to. Maybe that’s just part of getting older—the world feels a little more uncertain and a little more expensive. That’s why the USA Today article resonated with me. It reminded me that I’m not the only one thinking about these things.
Money is on my mind, as at 79, I want to insure we have enough. I use spreadsheets to make my calculations and so far all has worked out. We chose the CCRC route, with insurance to keep expenses lower if nursing or memory care is ever needed. Do it now when there is no need to do it, no pressure. This works for us, but for sure, not for everyone. My suggestion if you are thinking CCRC, visit 5 to 10 of them, the only way to get what I call the REAL information, you kind of have to live it. Then get on a waiting list, that way you will be in line if you decide, because right now our CCRC is 100% filled! There seems to be a lot of activity in this style of living for us baby boomers. Best to all.
I wonder how much of the inexorable rise of the stock market is due to the passive bid, every day, for index funds. Many people now just buy the market, on a regular basis, regardless of price, and so that money just keeps bidding stocks up. I sometimes sleuth around and take a deep dive on suspicious companies. One biotech company, a fraud in plain sight, had ownership by Vanguard, Fidelity, etc., and then I realized they were bought as part of a biotech index, or some other index. Thus, reputable firms like Vanguard were buying stock in a fraud because of the rote formula they must follow. Interestingly, on his last conference call before he was bought out, I heard the CEO and founder, a failed resident physician, threaten the shorts and anyone who authored unfavorable articles about the company. “We know who you are!”, he said. Needless the say, the stock went from the $30s, to bankruptcy, but not before receiving millions of funds from Uncle Sam during the pandemic. While this was going on, analysts had a buy rating with a price target of $80. It was amazing to watch.
Dennis, people will often say, including me, “I want enough money that I don’t have to think about it”. But we mean free from worry about having enough to pay for necessities, with maybe enough to satisfy our first tier of wants. But I suspect thoughtful people will always think about money, no matter how much they have. Especially those who have spent a lifetime striving to make the most of every dollar. We want to continue to do a good job by making the right choices for ourselves and those we care about.
Ed,
Money permeates so many aspects of our lives that it’s hard not to think about it.
As they say, “this time it is different” when it comes to buying stocks at high valuations. If you are risk averse index funds are the way to go in my opinion.
I don’t understand the issue with the RMD. Unless I need to rebalance my portfolio I simply move the RMD money to the same type of fund in taxable that it was in in tax-sheltered. If your financial plan says you should be 50-50 or 60-40, and that’s where you were before moving the RMD money, why would you not be the same afterwards?
Obviously, I am a fan of CCRCs. I believe you lose a lot of the potential benefits if you wait too long to move. Also, if a CCRC is even a faint possibility, getting on a wait list well ahead of time is a cheap insurance policy. Mine is a modified Type B, which charges below market rates in higher levels of care.
When taking your RMD, you can keep your existing ETF or mutual fund and move it from your retirement account into a taxable account. You do not have to sell and buy.
Kathy,
My RMD and our Social Security are the income sources we allocated this year to fund our expenses. But we’re not going to need all of my RMD, so we’ve thought about investing the remaining amount in the stock market. But do we really want to invest at these high valuations? It’s not a huge sum, but it’s nothing to sneeze at.
The problem with investing in the market is you don’t know if it will go up even higher. The S & P had 57 all time highs in 2024 alone. This could continue for years
Yes it’s been hitting new highs, but that’s kind of how the market works long-term. Feels risky to jump in, but also risky to sit it out if it just keeps climbing.
What was it invested in before you took it? If it was already in stocks, why would you not keep it in stocks?
Agreed that in-kind transfers make it easy to retain the overall portfolio composition.
An opportunity exists however, as explained by Ed Slott. If you had to take an RMD distribution when you don’t really need it, make an in-kind transfer of any depressed asset that you may have in your IRA to your taxable account (and pay taxes with your money market funds.) As you can afford to wait, when the depressed assets rise in price and you sell you will need to pay taxes on capital gains rather than on the full amount if you had let them sit in your IRA,,,
What you can and you can’t control should be the line between whether it is worth having worries.
The market you’d can’t control. Your plan in relation to it you can control and fix ahead of time.
Your stepson is a nice kind of worry. You can help more if you want. He’s presumably going to inherit so can’t see a downside in gifting early particularly if its meaningful (e.g. enabling him to join you on a special trip, make a housing downpayment, pay into an IRA).
CCRC – seems to be highly personal and varies by health, age, single v couple and even intended inheritances. Can’t see there is a slamdunk answer for many.
Dennis, thanks for your open and honest piece.
With regards putting spare funds back into stock market funds, is it worth considering dollar cost averaging over a period of time? That way you don’t need to feel the pressure of getting your timing right. DCA might not be optimal, but it can take some pressure out of the situation.
Good luck with whichever path you take.
I agree with all you write but one question is missing. If Dennis is not expecting to utilize the monies he would investing for a decade or more then I would say yes to stocks, if no then short or intermediate muni bonds would be a better choice.
We have a similar situation where we are converting all of my wife’s traditional IRA to a Roth and investing it all in Vanguard Total International ETF (VT). These funds would be the last, if ever, funds tapped for expenses. It will also eliminate her RMDs. We will be utilizing my much larger traditional IRA for withdrawls going forward and RMDs when I turn 73.
I try hard not to worry about money. My husband and I are financially as secure as people can be these days. Nothing is guaranteed to anyone. But the issues raised in the article you cite aren’t yours or ours. As for the issues you are considering, here are my non expert reactions.
Marilyn,
Thanks for your comments — I find them helpful, especially about aging in place.
Dennis,
I have a few observations.
My wife is always pushing money on “her” very adult children, one more than the other, for some reason. I tell her all the time that she needs to keep records so she can ‘even up’. I like it when “my” kids ask. If I do offer funds, it is not a regular occurrence, and if I ever feel it’s expected, I won’t do so.
May I suggest giving funds with directions? Such as “You’re young and time is on your side, here’s X dollars to start or put into your investment account. There is no hint of feeling he’s not making it on his own.
We are moving into a Type C CCRC. Fee-for-service means lower monthly fees for independent living. Because there is no “insurance” component, there is no medical entrance exam. Other business models where the cost is constant regardless of level of care are very dependent on the amount of time a resident is healthy, living with the higher fee, and not requiring additional services.
In my Type C CCRC, advanced care is guaranteed.
I’m 80 now and would have moved much sooner if this new community had been in existence ten years earlier. It will be a very active community, and because I use mobility aids, varying from a cane to a scooter, there are many activities I can’t participate in.
I am a passionate live-in-place advocate. Over the past 30 years, we have remodeled three times to age-in-place. We had no intention of ever moving. Physically, our house is perfect now, but we feel isolated.
In February, we are moving into an independent living (IL) apartment in a new CCRC just 10 minutes from us. My wife’s home care aide will continue to be with us 58 hours during the week. Her presence allows us both to be actively independent.
Staying in place and moving to assisted living or higher levels of care can work, but generally, it means splitting up (That was our plan). However, five years ago, with my wife in three hospitals and rehab for six months, 40 minutes away, is not something I want to repeat.
I do not manage my investments. I pay fees and leave that to others who are better at it and like it. On the day I sold my business, I lost all interest in anything related to money. I wanted to be free from thinking about it.
I have a financial advisor who talks me down when I worry. I can recall four times that I was worried. No knee-jerk reactions, and my portfolio always recovered. Sometimes, I am an emotional mess needing saving.