Sundry Memories of Mom

Some of us can choose our path through school and career. But life often has other plans. It did for my mom. As Mother’s Day approaches, I got to thinking of her story.

Mom was one of nine siblings. She was the third youngest, but she was old enough to draw the short straw when her pharmacist father fell ill and died as she was coming of age.

With her older siblings off at school or busy establishing careers, it was on her to staff the family pharmacy in a small midwestern town among a patchwork quilt of farms.

Of course, without a licensed pharmacist, the pharmacy became a sundries store. There, Mom scooped ice cream at the soda fountain, negotiated with vendors, managed the accounting, and dodged flirts with grace. She did it all with only a high-school education, supplemented by an accreditation from a merchants’ credit agency.

Bright, resourceful, and personable, she made a go of the situation. My sister and I were very fortunate to have this strong woman as a role model and advocate. But I’ve often wondered what might have been had she gone to college.

Interestingly, she didn’t drive after moving to Los Angeles in the 1960s. It’s said that “nobody walks in LA,” but we sure did. Dad worked a half hour’s drive away, often longer in traffic. The family had things to do and places to go before he arrived home each day.

On weekdays, then, Mom would find a way to run errands with us. We’d walk to local stores pulling a two-wheeled wire shopping cart, take two buses to visit her aunt, or ride bikes to the local park for swim lessons. Of course, her network of friends and neighbors would come to our aid with rides now and then.

She made sure we got to the doctor, dentist, and orthodontist. We were always clothed, fed, and all the rest.

Mom also oversaw the family finances. Here are three lessons she taught me:

1. Know what you spend. Prone to buying on impulse, Dad entrusted the checkbook to Mom. I recall Mom recording every expense in the little blue check register booklet—all in pencil. Everything balanced. I’ve made that my habit, too, and always know where my money goes.

2. Use credit wisely. We didn’t have large cash reserves and there were car loans, home loans, and installment payments for things like braces. I don’t know the details of the contracts she and Dad signed, but they never took financing lightly. Mom made timely payments, skillfully ensuring our checking account was never overdrawn when things were tight. Credit cards were paid in full each month. Following her example kept me from falling into the debt trap that often awaits college students and those who are just starting out.

3. Give generously. Charitable giving was woven into our finances, even if it meant landing on mailing lists for causes near and far. Mom and Dad rarely itemized, so the tax benefits were minimal. Mom, however, would give where we could and had a lineup of preferred charities. Today, I do the same and try to be generous whether it’s tax-deductible or not.

Back in the day, mom couldn’t foresee how well she would navigate life’s obstacles. At times it must have been terribly overwhelming, but she did her best. She was able to meet and enjoy all her grandchildren and lived independently at home until age 90.

With this remarkable woman in mind, I’d like to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all the strong women like her who make things happen for their families. What wise financial advice or habits did your mom impart to you?