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Can you identify your biggest blind spot? Sure, you’re smart. You’ve worked hard, planned ahead, marshalled your resources over the years. Heck, you even read Humble Dollar to check all the boxes.
But I can guarantee you there’s one aspect of life you haven’t considered. Have you considered what happens as you get older and need help with your day to day life? You see, we suffer from a lack of imagination. With all the workouts, healthy eating, mental stimulation, we as older adults statistically feel and consider ourselves to be 10 years younger than we are – which is great for our attitude and outlook.
But what I have seen, after 18 years of working with older adults, is that many of us don’t believe we will ever get to a point when we may need a walker or a wheelchair to get around; that there might come a day when we need help in the shower, making meals, or organizing meds.
I see otherwise smart, successful planners, who have spent their lives saving for a home, for college educations, a second home, vacations; stick their heads in the sand when it comes to their own possible frailty. They “fear their future self”, and don’t want to consider a time when they might need assistance.
This is a grievous trend, because with today’s massive transition of the boomers into retirement age, we have 10,000 people every day in the US turning 65 – and that will continue for the next 15 years. Our country has never seen a demographic shift like this in our lifetimes. There is an unprecedented demand for health care support, at a time when many professionals are exiting the field.
Those who have the mental temerity to consider that they will need assistance at some point – and likely for an extended amount of time – have the luxury of planning ahead. They can consider a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC)– a uniqu, primarily not-for-profit concept that’s more than 100 years old, with 1900 entities across the country – that offers a robust and engaging life as an independent adult, with guaranteed care at different levels ( at a reduced cost) as you age.
Adults who choose CCRCs often say it’s “a gift to my children” – because they have planned ahead for their health care needs, and do not have to make a decision in the midst of a crisis. Their children can continue to be their children, not caregivers.
Don’t sell yourself and your future short. Take the time to consider where you are living, what you want most in life, and what will be of paramount importance once you need regular assistance in day to day living.
After all, look how well you have planned to date. So don’t let the fear of your future self block you from making a smart plan for the future.
Cathleen Toomey
Host, Seniority Authority podcast
*For a detailed guidebook on how to understand and evaluate CCRCs, email info@seniorityauthority.org
Oh boy. I was just gonna say that my planning for less independence and mobility, as explained today to one of my kids, was to have a carpenter make those pull out drawers for the lower cabinets beneath my kitchen counters so I wouldn’t have to sit on the floor while taking all the gadgets in the front out to reach the rarely used items hidden in the back. Drawers are so much better than immovable deep shelves. I love to cook so I have a lot of gadgets. And I live in a one story house. Very small.
I found this a worthwhile post. So what if it has been written about before? The same can be said of several topics on HD, and that’s not a bad thing. Many things are worth saying/hearing again in different ways. It’s good to be reminded of things we have heard before, and even things we know deep down to be true. I believe Jonathan himself has mentioned how when he was at WSJ he was criticized for often writing about the same things. I suspect he did so because he found them important, as is this topic. I appreciate the post and the perspective.
As a proponent of, and resident in, a CCRC I am always happy to see reinforcements. I objected to the suggestion that HD readers had given no thought to the provision of care in their older years. The most cursory look at the articles and posts on this site would have told the author otherwise. It read like a standard advertising pitch, and I feel she would have done better to tailor her message to her audience.
I agree, which was the reason for my critical comments. However, Cathleen Toomey’s post motivated me to explore her website which I found to be quite good. Her TED talk is excellent and it is clear that she is strongly committed to helping seniors improve their lives. I think she now realizes that her second paragraph showed a lack of familiarity with the mindsets of HD readers.
I find it interesting when people talk about me in the abstract – the elderly that is. Even though i will be 81 in two months, i never think of being elderly- unless it gets me a discount or to the head of the line.
Your post resonates, but i can’t get myself to give in to other than a 55+ community. I may regret it, but total independence is my greatest goal and lack of it my greatest fear.
I don’t quite understand. Does living in a CCRC impinge on one’s independence? I know many people who live in CCRCs, and they seem quite independent to me. A couple are in their 90s and have lived very happily in a CCRC for almost 30 years.
Perhaps you are thinking that they have invested most of their money in the initial fee and then will not be able to afford to leave if they discover that they don’t like the place, or it changes. I suppose that is possible, and detailed advance research is needed before making a move to a CCRC. But how many people want to make a big move in their 80s or 90s? And the same thing could happen to you if you are living in your own home and have a medical situation – except that you might not be able to choose your own place of residence in that case. Someone else might be forced to decide where you will live and receive care, and you may not have much input.
I moved my father into a CCRC for the last year or so of his life, while it was the right choice, living there comes with restrictions. No cooking in your own room. Restrictions on visitors. Staff having 24/7 access to your space. He died just before COVID, and I’m pretty sure he would have gotten kicked out for refusing to follow the rules.
I’m with Richard on independence. I am my father’s son for better or worse.
It sounds like your father was in the assisted living portion of a CCRC, not the independent living section. My mother is in the latter, has a full kitchen, comes and goes as she pleases, and staff don’t have 24/7 access to her apartment.
Yeah, it was assisted living portion.
At my CCRC the new AL apartments have mini-kitchens. My IL apartment has full size appliances. I don’t understand the restriction on visitors, unless it was during Covid.
You do give up a measure of autonomy. In exchange you get new friends, lots of activities, and a guarantee of care.
My neighbor just had a knee replacement. She came back to Skilled Nursing and then to her own apartment with food delivery, transport to her doctor, and on-site physical therapy. Another friend, living alone, just had a hip replacement. She had to organize all of that herself – she wound up with a massive spreadsheet. And they were both still in good physical and mental shape.
In any case, there is very considerable variation between facilities, you can’t judge all of them based on one experience.
I took a look at the website, and am not able to find anything on pricing. Makes me think that this is a “if you have to ask, you can’t afford it” scenario.
Doing a simple Google search on the facility usually gets you the pricing info, and indeed several hits came up for the one Cathleen represents.
I wouldn’t assume that. Not to say it isn’t true because I don’t know, but I’ve seen many CCRC websites that don’t show pricing.
Editing to add that I also know the prices on some of those, so am in a position to say that not having pricing online doesn’t automatically mean they’re more expensive.
There is a lot of variety among CCRCs and some, but certainly not all, are very expensive. More and more for-profit operations are showing up and should be regarded with caution. I recommend an excellent book on the various types of CCRCs and how to chose one. There have been several articles here – there’s a list at the end of this forum post.
The most important consideration when choosing a CCRC is whether it is not-for-profit, or for-profit, and what type of contract is being offered, A, B, or C. Make sure you check to understand what is being covered.
My wife worked for several years at the RiverWoods facilities in Exeter prior to retirement during COVID. She was very impressed with the administration, facilities, and residents. The one negative however is the cost appears prohibitive for the middle class.
That is an interesting first post. There has been plenty of discussion about CCRCs at HumbleDollar. Some of us are on wait lists, some have moved in, and some hate the whole idea.
I see that you are the Vice President of Marketing for the RiverWoods Group, but looking at the RiverWoods Group site it’s not clear what it means to say that it is “the coordinating organization for the system of CCRCs…”
RiverWoods is a small independent not-for-profit family of CCRCs in New Hampshire.
From what I can tell, RiverWoods Group operates three non-profit CCRCs in New Hampshire. According to one of their videos, they are a Type B CCRC that charges a substantial mostly refundable entry fee and offers a discounte monthly fee for IL residents who transition to AL/MC.
While this apprears to be a reputable CCRC provider, one only needs to read the second paragraph to realize that this post was written by someone who is unfamiliar with the numberous articles, forum posts, and comments on HD about senior living options. I can’t help but wonder about the appropriateness of marketing posts such as this one.
To question “the appropriateness of marketing posts such as this one” seems a bit of an overreaction. I assume it’s prompted by Cathy including a prominent link to her website which in turn has prominent sponsor branding. Both are apparently nonprofit btw.
Meanwhile, all over HD we have contributors whose small bios at the end of their articles includes links to their blogs, links to their books, even links to their financial planning firms (obviously for profit). So what?
I’m with you that we don’t need marketing on HD, but I don’t find any of what I’ve described that we already have to be marketing or in any way inappropriate, nor do I find this to be.
I found it a strange post on this subject on this site. It should only take a brief look around at the articles and posts here to see that we are all too well aware of the fragility of life, and also of the need to plan for ongoing care as we age.
Perhaps, instead of implying that we have taken no thought for the future, the author could write about her experiences helping to run a CRCC, or about the encroachment of for-profit operations and what non-profit CCRCs might do in their defense.
As I no longer work for RiverWoods, the goal of this post is to simply point out what many HD readers know, which is that you have to make a plan, and resist looking into the future. I am encouraged by the level of awareness in this group, and their desire to choose the best alternative.
Cathleen,
I spent some time on your website and am impressed with the breadth and quality of your podcasts with experts on issues related to aging (e.g., happiness, caregiving, dementia, eldercare financial planning). I agree with Kathy (mytimetotravel) that you could draw on your experiences to write articles and/or forum posts that HD readers would find informative.
That said, you list RiverWoods as the sponsor of your podcasts and the RiverWoods logo is present throughout your podcast videos on YouTube. Your contact info on your LinkedIn page has a link to RiverWoods and also has your work history there as 2006-present (an update might be in order since you no longer work there).
Thanks, Park Slope, for taking the time to look at the podcast – I appreciate your comments, and would be interested in any thoughts or listens to the interviews. Thanks for the suggestions.