And Another Thing….

Henry James is one of my favorite authors.  In the late 1880s He wrote a novel, Washington Square,  which was adapted into a play and an award winning movie, “The Heiress”.  Olivia dehavilland starred as Catherine Sloper, a shy, ordinary looking, socially awkward young woman, who stands to inherit a large fortune.

Montgomery Clift, was Morris Townsend, her handsome, charming but ne’er do well suitor—and a wonderful English actor, Ralph Richardson, as Dr. Austin Sloper, Catherine’s father. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Heiress

In a scene from the movie, Dr. Sloper informs Morris that he is not a suitable candidate as a husband to his daughter,  because he is “simply not in the right category.” (to choose from) for someone in Catherine’s position, whereupon Morris launches into an impertinent rebuke in attempt to disprove Dr. Sloper’s opinion.  When the argument continues and Dr. Sloper’s opinion of Morris as a fortune hunter is confirmed, he summarily dismisses Morris by showing him the door, simply telling him…”you push me to it…you argue too much.”

While face to face debate has always been a part of our culture,  the internet has given some people permission to become insulting, rude and negative to those who don’t agree with them.  It’s all too easy to minimize the impact of what we are saying when we are behind a computer screen. It can also be easy to do something we may regret.  In a moment of anger, one little message and one little click, can cause damage we can never take back.

Usually, when people argue  on the internet, it’s not to resolve an issue or to understand each other, it’s just about spouting an opinion and seeking attention, or just to get one up on you by flouting, what they consider, is their superior intellect.  So what’s the point—you are rarely going to change someone’s opinion.  All it does is create hostility. .

I’d like to believe I am naive, rather than stupid, but I’ve just begun to wake up to the notion that there are trolls out there in comment land—people who argue just to argue. They only want to mock others who don’t agree with their views, and rile others up.

Even when one person is faced with logical reasoning and solid evidence that proves them wrong;  rather than relent they will resort to personal attacks, There is no payoff to winning an argument.  So unless it involves your integrity or an obvious need to clarify your position, let it go. Some people bring out the best in us, and others—well, they bring out a less than ideal version of ourselves.  .

It takes a lot for me  to get my Irish up.  I’m still learning to quell a slight pugilistic tendency to give these irksome people a Brooklyn beating. Just Joking. But as Jonathan Clements wrote in his summation of personality types,  “Understanding who we are—and the mistakes we’re inclined to make won’t necessarily prevent us from messing up, but it’s clearly a step in the right direction.” And, by all means, look out for the trolls.