Stay or Go, and How Do We Know?

Last year I wrote a couple of HD articles called “When and Where?” about my upcoming retirement decisions. The “when” is settled: I’m retiring on July 1 (checks countdown app: 1 month & 28 days!). The “where,” I thought was also settled: We’d stay in the college town (Davis, CA) where we’ve lived for over 30 years, raised our kids, and built a life.

We’re now rethinking the “where,” but in two different ways: (1) Do we stay in Davis, or might we move to San Diego County near our daughter? (2) If we do stay in our town, do we stay in the condo we bought in 2019, or do we buy a different home?

As to #1, we are aware of the pitfalls of relocating in retirement to be near an adult child. If we did move to San Diego County, the primary reason would indeed be to be a more active part of her life. Secondarily, though, we love the ocean and the coastal climate—yet have lived in hot inland parts of California for most of our adult lives. We fell in love with San Diego before she moved there, and there’s a lot it could offer us, with or without her being there.

If we stay in Davis, it would be because of our roots there: our church, our friends, our comfort level because of so much familiarity (doctors, optometrist, dentist, hair stylist, massage therapist, Pilates studio, nail salon, you get the idea), and proximity to the university where I will be a professor emerita (and get discounts on the performing arts center, basketball games, etc.).  Most of our families, except for the daughter in San Diego and my husband’s elderly stepfather, live in Northern California in easy driving distance, so we’d be trading proximity to them, too.

As to #2, though we enjoy our condo, the larger home community we live in (pool, walking trails, clubhouse, etc.), and our neighbors, we’re put off by a couple of things if we consider this a long-term home: the high fees for two HOAs (which have risen from $500 to over $700/month in six years), the lagging values of the condos on the local real estate market, and practical issues such as elevators going out of service, which concern us when we think of living on the top floor as we get older. We can climb three flights of stairs now when we have to, but later?

The biggest reason to possibly move out of the condo to a single-family home, though, is that I really, really, really want a dog. It’s been almost seven years since we lost our last dog, and I have a dog-shaped hole in my heart. Dogs are certainly allowed in our condo, there’s a dog park and walking trails on property, and I’ll be retired and have plenty of time to care for a dog. But having a dog in a condo is a bigger hassle than in a house with a yard.

Both housing markets we’re considering are expensive, and we can afford a moderate upgrade if we choose to go that route. But we don’t want to make a hasty mistake.

So here’s how we’re trying to look at this:

1. We’ve booked a VRBO for three weeks in July in San Diego County. We’ll spend time by the beach and with our daughter, but we’ll also get to know the area better (so far it’s just been quick trips to visit her), and perhaps we’ll even take a day or two with a local realtor to see how we like the homes in our price range.
2. One option we’d consider in that area is an upscale 55+ community. There are rental properties available there, so if we decided to take the next step in relocating, we might lease a place for six months or a year while renting out our condo back in Davis. That would give us an even better sense if we’d like living in the area or if we’re desperately homesick for Davis.
3. As to other properties in Davis, we’ve already been looking since fall and have been to a number of open houses. The pickings have been slim, and we haven’t seen anything we’ve loved enough to spend the money. We’ll probably keep looking, though, just to have an up-to-date sense of the market.
4. Right now we’re thinking that we’ll do nothing for at least the next year. The current upheaval in the economy is making me anxious, not about our current situation, which is stable, but about making a major move that stretches us thinner financially.

We may end up doing nothing at all, and I’ll either deal with having my aspirational dog in our condo or give up the dog idea for now. It’s an interesting set of variables and choices, though.