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The Myth of the Default Caregiver

"There are certainly many different types of care available, and for some people they can be genuinely invaluable. But if I'm being honest, I truly believe that during the darkest and most demanding times of caregiving, those of us who have children will find that they step up more readily — and with a deeper understanding of what you actually need — than almost anyone else. I was lucky with my mum. She had wonderful neighbours and dedicated care staff who gave so much of themselves. But there's a limit to what they can offer, and in my heart I feel it falls short of what close family — the people who truly know you — are able to give."
- Mark Crothers
Read more »

The Opportunity Cost of Waiting

"Mark, I appreciate your encouraging words very much. Chris"
- baldscreen
Read more »

Tools/calculators for monthly retirement cash flow and tax estimation

"Isn't it even simpler to pay 100% (or 110%) of the previous year's tax? I take my RMD near the end of the year, and make sure the additional withholding will get me there."
- mytimetotravel
Read more »

Recency Bias (or: You’re Running Buggy Software)

"Unbiased information is, in my experience, becoming increasingly hard to find. I try to sort the wheat from the chaff — though I'm self-aware enough to know I probably introduce my own bias in the process."
- Mark Crothers
Read more »

How Deals Hurt Returns

THERE'S BEEN DRAMA recently in a normally quiet corner of the market. This story got its start back in 2015, when Warren Buffett helped to merge food makers Kraft and Heinz. At first, it looked like a smart idea. Through cost-cutting, the combined company was expected to save more than $1 billion in annual operating expenses. “This is my kind of transaction,” Buffett said at the time, “uniting two world-class organizations and delivering shareholder value. I’m excited by the opportunities for what this new combined organization will achieve.” The excitement was short-lived, and many observers were skeptical from the start, mainly because Buffett had teamed up with a private equity firm called 3G to make the purchase. 3G had a reputation for being overly zealous when it came to cost-cutting. Initially, Buffett defended 3G. They “could not be better partners,” he wrote in his 2015 annual letter. But within a few years, it became clear that the skeptics had been right. Sales at the combined company began falling, and in 2018, Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway recorded a $15 billion write-down on the value of its Kraft Heinz holdings. The following year, Buffett publicly acknowledged that the merger had been a mistake and that Berkshire had overpaid for its stake. “The business does not earn more because you pay more for it,” he said. In the years since, Kraft Heinz has continued to struggle with declining sales. To address the problem, in January of this year, the company brought in a new CEO, Steve Cahillane, and tasked him with splitting the company back up again. By that point, though, Buffett had changed his mind again. His view was that it was now better to leave the combined company intact rather than going through the costly exercise of trying to break it back up. A breakup, he said, wouldn’t create value. “It doesn’t do a thing, you know, for what the ketchup tastes like.” Despite his influence, though, the break-up plan appeared to be moving forward, and Cahillane took the helm on January 1 with that mandate.  Within weeks, Cahillane came around to Buffett’s point of view. The company’s woes were more fundamental, he told the board, and breaking it up wouldn’t address those core issues. Where things go next is an open question.  This story is notable because of Warren Buffett’s involvement, but it turns out not to be so unusual. Studies over the years have found that corporate mergers and acquisitions, on average, do not create value. According to a study by KPMG of more than 3,000 acquisitions, 57% of deals were found to detract from shareholder value rather than increase it. Other research puts the failure rate in the neighborhood of 70%. Aswath Damodaran, a finance professor at NYU, sums it up this way: “More value is destroyed by acquisitions than by any other action that companies take.” Why do so many transactions detract from shareholder value? Economist Richard Thaler attributes it to what he calls the “winner’s curse.” This phenomenon was first identified in the petroleum industry, where competitive auctions are held for oil leases. Research found that the winners of these competitive auctions often ended up disappointed—not because they didn’t find any oil, but simply because they had overpaid. Thaler explains that auctions—especially when there are large numbers of bidders—can cause some participants to become emotional, to the point that they become undisciplined and end up bidding too much. The winners in these situations are thus “cursed” because they’re the ones who were willing to overpay the most and thus tend to be most disappointed. Thaler found that the winner’s curse dynamic appears across industries, and that is what explains the poor track record of corporate acquisitions. Competitive situations, whether it was in the Kraft-Heinz case, or in the one that recently played out in the competition for Paramount, can cause prices to go too high. That’s great for sellers but a key reason why acquirers often end up regretting their decisions and why a large number of corporate takeovers end up being reversed. So why, despite all this data, do corporate managers—including even Warren Buffett—pursue these transactions? There are three key reasons.  The first is that they’re an easy way for companies to combat stagnant growth—much easier than the hard work of developing new products. This helps explain the Kraft-Heinz tie-up. According to a write-up in 2015, when the merger was first announced, many of Kraft’s businesses had been stalled out, delivering zero or even negative growth. Another reason mergers and acquisitions are popular despite the odds: Corporate managers tend to overestimate the economic benefits—so-called synergies—that will result from a transaction. Consider companies like Kraft and Heinz. It was easy to make the argument that two companies in the same industry would be able to gain significant efficiencies by combining operations and realizing economies of scale. And since some number of transactions do succeed, even if it’s only a minority, it’s natural for corporate managers to believe that their transaction will be the one to beat the odds. In a 1986 paper, economist Richard Roll identified a related phenomenon, which he dubbed “the hubris hypothesis.” The logic is as follows: Corporate managers who find themselves in a position to be making acquisitions are, by definition, probably doing well. Their stock prices are up, and they likely have cash in the bank. Because their businesses are strong, they’re more likely to feel self-confident in their ability to succeed with a merger or an acquisition even when the data suggests the odds are against them. The lesson for individual investors? Companies will probably always pursue transactions like this that end up subtracting from shareholder value. But since there’s no way to predict when this will happen, I see this as yet another reason to choose broadly-diversified index funds, where any one company’s mistake generally won’t have too much of a negative impact. Also, to the extent that the company being acquired is also in the index, passive fund investors can enjoy the benefits that accrue to that company’s shareholders.   Adam M. Grossman is the founder of Mayport, a fixed-fee wealth management firm. Sign up for Adam's Daily Ideas email, follow him on X @AdamMGrossman and check out his earlier articles.
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Getting Older

"We were fortunate to be moving from a single level home to another single level home. I'm definitely done moving things up and down stairs!"
- kristinehayes2014
Read more »

Wisdom, from the wisest women I know

"We were financial late bloomers who both grew up in homes that were on the lowest rung of middle class and money was always tight. When we finally started getting more comfortable, I remember my husband saying “I’d just like to be able to order a pizza on a Friday night without having to balance the checkbook first.” “Breaking the shackles of frugality” is a nice turn of phrase that I resonated with. I wouldn’t say I’ve gone entirely the other direction (=spendthrift), but I definitely understand the sigh of relief when you want or need to buy something at the grocery store or for the house and you don’t have to go through anxiety-laden moments—you just do it."
- DrLefty
Read more »

Carrying Humble Dollar Forward

"Please do! Your writing style (and kind, thoughtful comments) very much remind me of your brother."
- kristinehayes2014
Read more »

Perfection, enemy of good

"Agreed! I put some money in a target date fund many years ago and it has served me well. Its built in shift towards more conservative investments over time appeals to my naturally conservative self."
- kristinehayes2014
Read more »

Blood Money

"Here's a podcast episode on the topic, from Ed Slott & Jeffrey Levine: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0C0CfDdTmFKsR07DBLkuJu?si=2PpP8uw1SJW45ijpYlSJxQ"
- Randy Dobkin
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Financial regrets about parenthood?

"That would indeed be a terrific article idea, Kristine, especially since financial planning for elder care is top of mind for many still-working couples. My own household is a dream situation for an elderly person. Mama (my MIL) is the center of attention for both her daughters and her son-in-law. Even the dog listens to her."
- Mike Gaynes
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Any concern?

"I’m near retirement and all set with the portfolio AA initial conditions, specifically with a healthy dose of fixed income ready to weather an inevitable market downturn. What I’m a bit unsure of is refilling my fixed income efficiently &!sufficiently as time goes on. I have the usual plan of rebalancing and its nuances, but we’ll see how it goes. I’m fairly confident, have read a ton and run the numbers but haven’t done this before. Retirement: There’s always that first time ;)."
- Andy Morrison
Read more »

The Myth of the Default Caregiver

"There are certainly many different types of care available, and for some people they can be genuinely invaluable. But if I'm being honest, I truly believe that during the darkest and most demanding times of caregiving, those of us who have children will find that they step up more readily — and with a deeper understanding of what you actually need — than almost anyone else. I was lucky with my mum. She had wonderful neighbours and dedicated care staff who gave so much of themselves. But there's a limit to what they can offer, and in my heart I feel it falls short of what close family — the people who truly know you — are able to give."
- Mark Crothers
Read more »

The Opportunity Cost of Waiting

"Mark, I appreciate your encouraging words very much. Chris"
- baldscreen
Read more »

Tools/calculators for monthly retirement cash flow and tax estimation

"Isn't it even simpler to pay 100% (or 110%) of the previous year's tax? I take my RMD near the end of the year, and make sure the additional withholding will get me there."
- mytimetotravel
Read more »

Recency Bias (or: You’re Running Buggy Software)

"Unbiased information is, in my experience, becoming increasingly hard to find. I try to sort the wheat from the chaff — though I'm self-aware enough to know I probably introduce my own bias in the process."
- Mark Crothers
Read more »

How Deals Hurt Returns

THERE'S BEEN DRAMA recently in a normally quiet corner of the market. This story got its start back in 2015, when Warren Buffett helped to merge food makers Kraft and Heinz. At first, it looked like a smart idea. Through cost-cutting, the combined company was expected to save more than $1 billion in annual operating expenses. “This is my kind of transaction,” Buffett said at the time, “uniting two world-class organizations and delivering shareholder value. I’m excited by the opportunities for what this new combined organization will achieve.” The excitement was short-lived, and many observers were skeptical from the start, mainly because Buffett had teamed up with a private equity firm called 3G to make the purchase. 3G had a reputation for being overly zealous when it came to cost-cutting. Initially, Buffett defended 3G. They “could not be better partners,” he wrote in his 2015 annual letter. But within a few years, it became clear that the skeptics had been right. Sales at the combined company began falling, and in 2018, Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway recorded a $15 billion write-down on the value of its Kraft Heinz holdings. The following year, Buffett publicly acknowledged that the merger had been a mistake and that Berkshire had overpaid for its stake. “The business does not earn more because you pay more for it,” he said. In the years since, Kraft Heinz has continued to struggle with declining sales. To address the problem, in January of this year, the company brought in a new CEO, Steve Cahillane, and tasked him with splitting the company back up again. By that point, though, Buffett had changed his mind again. His view was that it was now better to leave the combined company intact rather than going through the costly exercise of trying to break it back up. A breakup, he said, wouldn’t create value. “It doesn’t do a thing, you know, for what the ketchup tastes like.” Despite his influence, though, the break-up plan appeared to be moving forward, and Cahillane took the helm on January 1 with that mandate.  Within weeks, Cahillane came around to Buffett’s point of view. The company’s woes were more fundamental, he told the board, and breaking it up wouldn’t address those core issues. Where things go next is an open question.  This story is notable because of Warren Buffett’s involvement, but it turns out not to be so unusual. Studies over the years have found that corporate mergers and acquisitions, on average, do not create value. According to a study by KPMG of more than 3,000 acquisitions, 57% of deals were found to detract from shareholder value rather than increase it. Other research puts the failure rate in the neighborhood of 70%. Aswath Damodaran, a finance professor at NYU, sums it up this way: “More value is destroyed by acquisitions than by any other action that companies take.” Why do so many transactions detract from shareholder value? Economist Richard Thaler attributes it to what he calls the “winner’s curse.” This phenomenon was first identified in the petroleum industry, where competitive auctions are held for oil leases. Research found that the winners of these competitive auctions often ended up disappointed—not because they didn’t find any oil, but simply because they had overpaid. Thaler explains that auctions—especially when there are large numbers of bidders—can cause some participants to become emotional, to the point that they become undisciplined and end up bidding too much. The winners in these situations are thus “cursed” because they’re the ones who were willing to overpay the most and thus tend to be most disappointed. Thaler found that the winner’s curse dynamic appears across industries, and that is what explains the poor track record of corporate acquisitions. Competitive situations, whether it was in the Kraft-Heinz case, or in the one that recently played out in the competition for Paramount, can cause prices to go too high. That’s great for sellers but a key reason why acquirers often end up regretting their decisions and why a large number of corporate takeovers end up being reversed. So why, despite all this data, do corporate managers—including even Warren Buffett—pursue these transactions? There are three key reasons.  The first is that they’re an easy way for companies to combat stagnant growth—much easier than the hard work of developing new products. This helps explain the Kraft-Heinz tie-up. According to a write-up in 2015, when the merger was first announced, many of Kraft’s businesses had been stalled out, delivering zero or even negative growth. Another reason mergers and acquisitions are popular despite the odds: Corporate managers tend to overestimate the economic benefits—so-called synergies—that will result from a transaction. Consider companies like Kraft and Heinz. It was easy to make the argument that two companies in the same industry would be able to gain significant efficiencies by combining operations and realizing economies of scale. And since some number of transactions do succeed, even if it’s only a minority, it’s natural for corporate managers to believe that their transaction will be the one to beat the odds. In a 1986 paper, economist Richard Roll identified a related phenomenon, which he dubbed “the hubris hypothesis.” The logic is as follows: Corporate managers who find themselves in a position to be making acquisitions are, by definition, probably doing well. Their stock prices are up, and they likely have cash in the bank. Because their businesses are strong, they’re more likely to feel self-confident in their ability to succeed with a merger or an acquisition even when the data suggests the odds are against them. The lesson for individual investors? Companies will probably always pursue transactions like this that end up subtracting from shareholder value. But since there’s no way to predict when this will happen, I see this as yet another reason to choose broadly-diversified index funds, where any one company’s mistake generally won’t have too much of a negative impact. Also, to the extent that the company being acquired is also in the index, passive fund investors can enjoy the benefits that accrue to that company’s shareholders.   Adam M. Grossman is the founder of Mayport, a fixed-fee wealth management firm. Sign up for Adam's Daily Ideas email, follow him on X @AdamMGrossman and check out his earlier articles.
Read more »

Getting Older

"We were fortunate to be moving from a single level home to another single level home. I'm definitely done moving things up and down stairs!"
- kristinehayes2014
Read more »

Wisdom, from the wisest women I know

"We were financial late bloomers who both grew up in homes that were on the lowest rung of middle class and money was always tight. When we finally started getting more comfortable, I remember my husband saying “I’d just like to be able to order a pizza on a Friday night without having to balance the checkbook first.” “Breaking the shackles of frugality” is a nice turn of phrase that I resonated with. I wouldn’t say I’ve gone entirely the other direction (=spendthrift), but I definitely understand the sigh of relief when you want or need to buy something at the grocery store or for the house and you don’t have to go through anxiety-laden moments—you just do it."
- DrLefty
Read more »

Carrying Humble Dollar Forward

"Please do! Your writing style (and kind, thoughtful comments) very much remind me of your brother."
- kristinehayes2014
Read more »

Perfection, enemy of good

"Agreed! I put some money in a target date fund many years ago and it has served me well. Its built in shift towards more conservative investments over time appeals to my naturally conservative self."
- kristinehayes2014
Read more »

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Get Educated

Manifesto

NO. 75: WANT TO give to charity or family? We’ll boost happiness and possibly save on taxes by giving now. But if we’re struggling to fund retirement, we should bequeath the money instead.

Truths

NO. 47: STRIVING to preserve principal often destroys it. As you aim to maintain your portfolio’s nominal value, you’ll likely buy bonds and cash investments—and could find yourself losing ground to inflation. Worse still, you may chase yield, buying supposedly safe investments that promise big payouts, but which may instead suffer sharp price drops.

think

MONEY ILLUSION. We have the illusion we’re doing better if we earn 5% on our savings rather than 1%, even if these yields simply match the inflation rate—and hence in both cases we aren’t making any financial progress. In fact, earning 5% when inflation is 5% leaves us worse off, because we’ll lose more to taxes than in the lower-yielding scenario.

act

PREPARE FOR a long life. For a quick gauge of your life expectancy, try the Social Security and Society of Actuaries' Longevity Illustrator calculators. What will you learn? First, the longer you live, the longer you can expect to live. Second, lifespans vary widely. Educated, health-conscious Americans might live three or four years longer than average.

Two-minute checkup

Manifesto

NO. 75: WANT TO give to charity or family? We’ll boost happiness and possibly save on taxes by giving now. But if we’re struggling to fund retirement, we should bequeath the money instead.

Spotlight: Markets

Are We an AI-Driven Economy?

We often hear that we are a consumer driven economy, with estimates that consumer spending provides as much as 70% of GDP. I read a recent article by Ben Carlson that indicated that, at least for this year, Big Tech’s capital expenditure spending on AI is approaching a similar level. The Bloomberg Magnificent 7 Total Return Index (I had no idea this existed) is up about 39% over the past year, compared to about 19% for the S&P 500.

Read more »

This post contains a secret and words I used in a few forum posts ago. Why is it not encouraging.

The secret is revealed at the end.

TIME VALUE OF MONEY, asset class, diversification, dollar-cost averaging: This is the language of investment professionals. But it isn’t the language of everyday Americans, including those saving for retirement in their employer’s 401(k) plan.
Trust me, I know. During my nearly 30 years overseeing 401(k) plans, including providing financial education to participants, it became clear to me that using such plans as intended wasn’t easy for most people.

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Good in Theory

STATISTICIAN GEORGE E.P. Box once made this observation: “All models are wrong,” he said, “but some are useful.” This certainly applies to finance, where many of the concepts are imperfect but can nonetheless still be useful. Below are four such examples.
Market valuation. Are stocks overpriced? It’s a question without an easy answer. Even academics who have studied the topic can never be entirely sure. Consider the cyclically adjusted price-earnings (CAPE) ratio.

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Holy Cow! Holding The Line in a Market Stampede

Last night after dinner, I went for a cycle. When at our holiday home, it’s one of my favourite routes: it goes along behind sand dunes on a wooden boardwalk until reaching the Giant’s Causeway. From there, it’s a push up onto the cliff-top paths. After a few miles, there’s a steep descent with cliffs on one side and a field with cows on the other. I normally dismount and carefully walk my bike down, but I decided to freewheel while on my bike.

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Sell America

OVER THE PAST YEAR, a new term has entered the lexicon: “Sell America.” The idea is that investors are losing confidence in the U.S. economy due to persistent deficits and concerns about other policy choices. Owing to these fears, some investors are pulling money out of U.S. stocks and reallocating to international markets. Others are opting for gold and silver. The result: In 2025, for the first time in a long time, international stocks demonstrably outpaced domestic equities,

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Under Pressure

A PLANE’S ALTIMETER measures the airplane’s altitude. It’s a critical instrument—so important, in fact, that planes are typically outfitted with two. That’s for redundancy, in case one fails. In addition, because different altimeters work better in different conditions, the two readings offer pilots multiple points of reference.
I was speaking recently with a retired pilot, who explained this to me and asked how he could apply the notion of redundancy to his finances. It was a good question,

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Spotlight: Southworth

Game Changer

I FELL IN LOVE with baseball in 1965. My parents were in the midst of divorcing. I found sanctuary listening to San Francisco Giants’ games on the radio. I put on my batting helmet and pretended I was Willie Mays swinging at every pitch or diving on my bed catching imaginary lines drives. Willie had a magical year and, although the hated Dodgers nosed us out in the end, a lifelong passion was born. I preached on miracles when I applied for fellowship as a minister. Jesus’ acts were nowhere to be found in baseball. Still, the story of the 1969 “miracle” New York Mets—and this 11-year-old’s awe—were central to my message. Baseball was an annual sermon then because, for fans like me, it is a magical, mystical game that has meaning far beyond runs, errors and base hits. The 1989 film Field of Dreams, a story about fathers, sons, baseball heroes and ghosts coming out of a cornfield in Iowa, highlighted the spirituality of the game. Major League Baseball recently played its first game at the Iowa cornfield where the movie was made. The Yankees and White Sox entered the field through the corn and played before an intimate crowd of 8,000. Millions more watched on television. It was the highest-rated regular season game in years. The game ended dramatically when Tim Anderson of the White Sox hit a walk-off home run into the cornfield to win the game. Ironically, Anderson has never seen Field of Dreams. He was born after the movie was made. Like many young ballplayers, especially those of color, the storyline of old-time white baseball players coming back to life doesn’t really resonate. Baseball has become too slow and too boring for more and more people. It’s become an old man’s game. Players like Anderson…
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Living With Insecurity

HOW DO YOU STAY centered when markets plunge and volatility is off the charts? One of the ways I cope is by pulling out a wonderful financial book to reread. In 1951, Alan Watts wrote The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety. But his message is as timely today as it was then. “There is a feeling that we live in a time of unusual insecurity…. Human beings appear to be happy just so long as they have a future to which they can look forward—whether it be a ‘good time’ tomorrow or an everlasting life beyond the grave.” Needless to say, there isn’t a chapter about stocks, mutual funds or financial planning in the entire book. Watts was an American Buddhist teacher who encouraged people to do everything to be aware and conscious of the present moment and not spend so much time planning for a future that never truly materializes, at least in the way we think it will. Given the trillions of dollars we spend on “security” in this country—financial, internet, home and homeland, to name a few—we don’t seem to do a good job of living in the insecure todays and tomorrows that are part of life. Planning and preparing aren’t bad things, of course. But what happens when the things we put our faith in start to break down? I preached a sermon in January 2009 titled The Wisdom of Financial Insecurity. I reflected on the financial bloodbath we’d experienced in 2008. My retirement portfolio dropped 36% and, despite making regular contributions for the previous five years, it was worth less than it had been at the end of 2003. My wife was also in the midst of her second bout with breast cancer. I needed some reminders that, when the…
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Found Money

IT’S ESTIMATED THAT up to $3 billion of unclaimed property is recovered every year. But another $49 billion is lost and still waiting to be claimed. How much of it is yours? Whenever I check if I’m due anything, I always come up empty. But the memories of found money keep me checking and hoping something pops up. Who can ever forget finding that surprise dollar bill in the pocket of your recently washed jeans when you were 11 years old, and the extra candy bar or two you bought? My wife Kathleen and I have had two unexpected windfalls we’ll never forget. The first was when I was in seminary and money was tight. Our car was stolen and totaled. I was happy to take the insurance settlement. But my wife discovered a special law that allowed us to file a claim and maybe receive restitution from the man who stole our car. I told her not to waste her time. Thankfully, Kathleen didn’t listen to me and, two or three years later, we received a completely unexpected check for $8,000 paid from the criminal’s earnings. Listening to Kathleen’s “I told you so” multiple times was a small price to pay. The second surprise came when we were walking the back streets of Capri. We had celebrated Kathleen’s successful second battle with cancer and my new job by taking our first vacation to Europe. During the two-week tour of Italy, we meandered away from our tour group and spotted a pile of euros on the ground. There was nobody around and no police station nearby. I ran into the closest bathroom to count our new-found treasure: 800 euros, which at the time was worth $1,250. We didn’t know what to do. We felt terrible that someone had lost all…
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California On Our Minds

I just returned from a six-day silent retreat. What in the world could that have to do with retirement and financial life?  Maybe nothing or maybe a lot.  I’ve been going on silent retreats for more than 20 years, ever since I became a minister and they were part of my spiritual and professional development. These days in my semi-retired lifestyle they are still part of both. One of my goals for the retreat was to write a draft article about moving to California for Humble Dollar. As I wrote last year, we had the unexpected gift of our first grandchild being born in November 2023. We decided when we visited her last spring that we would leave North Carolina and move to the Bay Area in California, which was our home until 2001 and is where our son and his family live.  If you read articles about the best places to retire, North Carolina is near the top and California is near the bottom. Selling in California and buying - or even renting - in North Carolina makes smart financial sense. Doing it the other way? Not so much. We found a manufactured home last July that was in our price range and close to family. We made an offer below asking price. After some back and forth the seller said no. We soon found another home in the same neighborhood.  This time we made an offer above asking but we were outbid. The first home we had bid on ended up being sold for less than our offer!  We get daily real estate updates and went back to California in November to celebrate our granddaughter’s one year birthday and to look for houses all over Northern California.  We decided to wait for the next house that comes available…
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Stuck in the Sand

MY WIFE AND I recently took our first mini-vacation since 2019. We traveled to the Outer Banks in North Carolina for a long weekend to celebrate our anniversary. The weather was perfect, the crowds were small, the food was delectable and the morning sunrise was spectacular. But none of these memories has stuck with me like the one that wasn’t so delightful. We spent a morning driving up the coast to enjoy the sights and sounds of the small villages and towns along the way, as well as the breathtaking vistas of the Atlantic Ocean. We were surprised when the two-lane road dead-ended on a beach. Four-wheel drive cars were invited to continue with hopes of seeing some of the wild horses who have roamed the beach for centuries. We own a four-wheel drive car, but I’d never driven on a beach before and my instincts were telling me, “Don’t do it.” We went ahead anyway. Within two minutes, we were stuck in the sand. Revving the engine and spinning the wheels made the situation worse, as did the non-loving words my wife and I exchanged. After finding no help in the owner’s manual, we got out to see what we could do. People driving by yelled, “Let the air out of the tires.” We got on our hands and knees to flatten out the sand around the wheels. We pushed special buttons in the car. Nothing worked. Eventually, someone stopped and offered to help push. I put the car in reverse and within minutes we were back on the road. The only wild horses we saw were on the postcards at the gift shop. But the experience hasn’t left me, probably because I often get metaphorically stuck in the sand. I’m guessing you do, too. Sometimes, it’s been in…
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Words to Live By

ONE OF MY FAVORITE end-of-the-year rituals is watching Turner Classic Movies’ annual memorial to those in the film business who have died during the past year. Each year, I’m reminded of people who have entertained and often strongly influenced me. It’s four bittersweet minutes of smiling, crying and reliving memories. Movies, and especially holiday movies, have been as important in inspiring and teaching me as any scripture I’ve ever read and any sermon I’ve heard or given. Two actors who died in 2022 were in two of my favorite movies. Virginia Patton, the last living adult actress from the best movie of all time, It’s a Wonderful Life, died in August. She played George Bailey’s sister-in-law, Ruth Dakin Bailey. James Caan, who played Buddy’s biological father Walter in Elf, died in July. Like most characters in holiday classics, they taught us lessons about love, selfishness, generosity and greed—lessons that can be helpful in all parts of our lives, including our financial lives. Caan played the stereotypical self-centered businessman who had lost the spirit of the season. Patton had a small role in the movie with a handful of lines. She lets George know that the main reason his brother Harry married her was to go into plastics, where he could make lots of money. He does; George doesn’t. Most of us didn’t make a lot of money this year if we were invested in the stock and bond markets. (I’m not sure about those in plastics.) I find the last few weeks of the year are a time of complex emotions and to-do lists. A time to celebrate, to remember, to mourn, to plan, to share and reflect on what’s come and what we hope will come next. No matter which holidays or movies we embrace. My contemplation this year,…
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