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One Life to Live

Sundar Mohan Rao

DURING A GATHERING of retired friends, the topic of wills came up. Many had completed their wills and had their finances in order, while others were working on updating their wills. But there were several who hadn’t even started thinking about it. One of them said, “As a retiree, I’m just starting to enjoy my freedom and have some fun. It’s too stressful to think about death. I’ll get to it someday.”

As you might imagine, prioritizing tasks in retirement is a challenge. During your working years, your boss kept you on your toes. In retirement, there’s no such pressure, unless it comes from you or your family. Things can be put off for days, weeks or even longer.

Life has a way of forcing us to make quick decisions. I saw a friend get a life-changing medical diagnosis. He was given 18 months to live, leaving him scrambling to get his finances in order.

I’d hate to be faced with that sort of stress. How do we get ourselves to take action on important matters once we’re retired? Here’s a thought experiment that helped me: Imagine you’re in your doctor’s office and you’re told you have only five months or, alternatively, five years to live. What would you do?

Five months to live: You must focus on the things most important to you. In all likelihood, organizing financial records, updating wills and spending time with loved ones would take priority.

Five years to live: You might have time to do something meaningful. But again, you need to focus on your priorities with a sense of urgency.

This exercise, I found, brings life into sharp focus. It helped me clarify the most important things to do—and I’m now focusing on those things.

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Martin McCue
4 months ago

Nothing focuses the mind like a deadline. (Including one’s impending death.) And even a deadline doesn’t always work for some people, like filing a tax return or paying estimated taxes.

Absent the discipline of an externally imposed limit, it is easy to let things slide. That is both the reward and curse of retirement. It is easy to keep saying “manana” when you have something with no due date.

I’ve found that it helps to do something, anything, early in your day, and to move on from there. That first action shifts the inertia of being at rest to the inertia of being in motion, and that can make all the difference.

Last edited 4 months ago by Martin McCue
smr1082
4 months ago
Reply to  Martin McCue

Too many deadlines and busy calendar can take the fun out of retirement. Focusing on top 3-4 things and letting the others slide helps me.

Sundar Mohan

Last edited 4 months ago by smr1082
Donny Hrubes
4 months ago

I tell folks I am flexible because my ‘boss’ is so understanding! Ahhhh retirement!

Margaret Fallon
4 months ago
Reply to  Donny Hrubes

ha, ha, ha

Tim Mueller
4 months ago

Since retiring two years ago I’ve tried to make two things a priority, getting enough exercise and not missing the chance to do things with friends and family. I’ve thought about the records and clutter problems but that’s been about it. I’ve told my brother’s and sister’s (I’m the oldest of four boys, two girls), that If they want my 350K retirement money they’re going to have to work for it.

Two dumpsters in front of my house would be a start.

Last edited 4 months ago by Tim Mueller
smr1082
4 months ago
Reply to  Tim Mueller

You have the right priorities. In my case, downsizing forced me to get rid of so much stuff. If not, there was no incentive. It is very comfortable to have all familiar stuff around us as we age.

Linda Grady
4 months ago

In my case, I try to live as though this day may be my last. That doesn’t mean that everything is always in perfect order, but it does mean that if a friend or family member reaches out with a phone call or suggestion to meet, that will have higher priority than, for example, washing and folding laundry. When I’ve made a new financial arrangement or solved some problem (IRS dispute, argument over a subscription or utility bill), I make notes on the related documents and file everything in a series of binders with descriptions of the contents (“banking,” “paid bills,” “life insurance/annuities,” etc.), to make it easier for loved ones to clean up after my demise, whether it’s tomorrow or 25 years hence. I’ve seen that no matter how generous a loved one may be to their heirs, leaving behind a paperwork mess creates resentment.

smr1082
4 months ago
Reply to  Linda Grady

Agree. Leaving behind a paper work mess or unpaid bills will cause major problems. I also see many who have filled up their big homes with so much furniture, and stuff collected over decades. Children will be stressed out cleaning that up when the time comes.

Bob Smith
4 months ago
Reply to  smr1082

Couldn’t agree more.
I’m just lucky.
I realized early in life I couldn’t function in a cluttered or messy inviroment, likely an inherited trait of my parents, it sure proved useful being self employed.

Linda Grady
4 months ago
Reply to  smr1082

I’m in that cleaning up the overfilled house situation right now. Good news is that I’m the secondary partner in the task. Bad news: I’m much more prone to toss things and less attached to the items than the primary partner. Wish us both luck!

smr1082
4 months ago
Reply to  Linda Grady

We had a huge collection of mugs collected from our travels. Took pictures of them and gave them away. No regrets.

Donny Hrubes
4 months ago
Reply to  smr1082

I have a ‘Holy Crap’ mug shaped like *** with a hole…. . . Why? 😉

AnthonyClan
4 months ago
Reply to  smr1082

They have electronic picture frames where you can load your photo files. The photos change ever few minutes. A great way to enjoy your mug photos, as well as family pics, etc. Brings back pleasant memories every time I walk by mine.

smr1082
4 months ago
Reply to  AnthonyClan

These picture frames are great. We don’t have any pictures hanging on the wall.

T. V. NARAYANAN
4 months ago

Revocable living trusts are better options compared wills. Wills have to be probated. Many folks are afraid to go before a probate judge, so they hire attorneys to do the job and it may cost a lot more. If you are told you have only five months to live, trivial matters like cost will be the last thing in your mind!
,

smr1082
4 months ago

Estate planning with a will or trust is important. Florida has Lady Bird Deed option to skip probate for simple assets. Not sure about other states.

OldITGuy
4 months ago

Good article. It is nice to be reminded to focus on the important things and get moving. While my death planning is fine, there are a few other things in life I need to give a bit more attention. Thanks.

smr1082
4 months ago
Reply to  OldITGuy

I get reminded of my own mortality whenever an ambulance comes blaring into my community. That is a great reminder!

Ormode
4 months ago
Reply to  smr1082

In my 55+ community, they don’t allow them to use sirens. They do have flashing lights.
Either they don’t want people starting rumors about who just passed on, or they’re afraid of attracting real estate agents.

smr1082
4 months ago
Reply to  Ormode

Real estate agents chasing ambulances! Never thought of it.

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