VICKY AND I took a 2-week road trip through North Carolina, Georgia, and South Carolina. We spent the Easter weekend with 3 of her siblings and numerous nieces and nephews and their families. From there we drove to Savannah for 4 days of southern charm, beautiful architecture, and great food. After Savannah we drove to Kiawah Island for the wedding of one of my best friend’s daughter.
Meeting fellow retirees, and hearing their stories is always fascinating. On our road trip through I was exposed to quite a number of interesting stories. They have some interesting similarities, and differences. A few categories came to mind.
- Staying Put. The first couple’s children lived in two different parts of their state, about 2 hours apart. Instead of moving to a new town near one of the kids, they downsized a mile away from their long-time home. By staying in their community, they were able to maintain their connections with friends, doctors, and their routine.
- Chasing Children. Two couples moved from Pennsylvania to be closer to children and grandchildren. One couple moved right after they retired. The other couple was able to move while still working; their employers supported remote work with some travel. The second couple had lived in North Carolina in the past, and they had friends in the area. The first couple left a large extended family and friends. They have close family nearby, and are working on making new friends through Pickleball and volunteering. They are finding new doctors, and learning the area.
- Splitting Time. Our fourth couple spent their adult lives in Rochester, NY. The wife’s family had a vacation home in Michigan’s upper peninsula, that they enjoyed. They bought a place there and moved there after retiring. But the winters were brutally cold, and they decided to look for a second home in a warmer climate. They did a multi-year search in different southern towns. They settled on Savannah, and bought an historic home near the town’s main park. They love the history, architecture, and food. They spend half the year in Savannah, and half in Michigan. We also met a number of folks who were returning north from their wintering in Florida.
- Hitting the Links. While we were waiting for the wedding to start, we met a couple from Rumson, NJ. They lived a few miles from our new home in Monmouth County, NJ. Their retirement was all about golf. They bought a place on Kiawah Island so they could golf year-round. They spend from New Years to May in Kiawah, and summers in NJ. They return to Kiawah for some of the fall. They belong to golf courses in both locations. They also said friends love to visit.
I was intrigued by these different retirement stories. Retirees have lots of different reasons for choosing their retirement life. A few common themes were following children and grandchildren, looking for better weather, and flowing a passion. The one common denominator, however, was that they each had the resources to make the choices that fit their desires. Our retirement journey has taken several twists that weren’t planned, but have worked out well. I’d love to hear what retirement surprises HumbleDollar readers have experienced.
While working I fell into a habit where I tended to listen to a fairly static list of musical performers. Since I retired I’ve started searching for additional artists to add and have been pleasantly surprised to find plenty of new artists that I like. Now I try to regularly make the effort to look for more. So far it’s been pretty working pretty well and when it’s one my wife also likes then it goes on our road-trip playlist.
I have discovered in retirement that I need to simplify my life because it makes me happier and gives me the ability to sleep better. I haven’t been able to do it yet but I’m working on it.
I can’t say there have been surprises. I am hoping that some detours created by health issues will soon abate. I’m happy that when Chris and I got together around ages 50 we immediately went on a vacation spree during our first 15 years together. Not some of the lavish vacations I read about on HD, but frequent trips (2 or 3 per year) to many Caribbean islands. We were able to do things at that time that aren’t possible at age 70.
The things that strikes me about the folks you describe is that they are all happily living life on their own terms. That to me is the secret of life.
Great comment, and actually pretty similar to me and my wife (including the wish that “some detours created by health issues will soon abate”).
One big, unwelcome, surprise was the reemergence of my rheumatoid arthritis (now back in remission). That put a stop my travel, and led me to take a long look at where I should spend the rest of my life. The result was my move last year to a CCRC. This is working well, although becoming a floor rep to the Residents Council is something I wasn’t expecting.
Kathy, I hope your arthritis stays under control. I’m sure you will make a fine floor rep.
Thanks Rick. I feel the same about your new role as Treasurer. Good luck!
I’ve had a pretty major surprise in my life in the last few month, one I haven’t written about. I was elected to our community’s HOA Board. I’m now the treasurer. It’s certainly not something I expected to do, or actively sought. Our community board had a serious fallout about 8 months before we moved in. We found out that 2 of the 3 members had resigned, and the current board was one person. Within a few months of moving in, several neighbors asked if I would be willing to serve on the board. I said I was willing to help, but not anxious to be an official board member. But it became apparent that change was needed, and there were not many folks interested or willing to run for the board. Early this year there was an election, and three of us submitted our names. Not surprisingly, we won! I find myself thinking about the community and it’s fund like my family. I believe I have a responsibility to the residents. The vast majority of the residents are very nice people. I’ve only hear a few complaints so far. There are some major issues facing the community in the near future. I’ll my best to be fair, reasonable, careful, and transparent.
Hi Rick, this is Chris. Many years ago I was treasurer of our then HOA with no business experience, only common sense. This was after spouse was VP for a few years. I am sure you will do a fine job. My first order of business as treasurer was when I found out there was no directors and officers insurance for the board, so made sure we got some. I had to learn quickly. I am sure you will do great with your background. To be honest, being on the board is a thankless job, but it is necessary to take a turn if you can. Thank you for taking a turn for your community.
What’s the old saying about the best person for the job is sometimes the person who doesn’t want it? I suspect you’ll be a great HOA treasurer. As an aside, in our HOA we also had an (understandable) reluctance of volunteers to serve on the board. My wife (as HOA president) was concerned about not meeting the state legal requirements for board membership, so she put (yet another) plea in the newsletter that an additional board member was needed. But this time she (truthfully) added that if volunteers weren’t found she’d have to pay the management company to staff the vacancy. That hard reality helped everyone understand the need was real and several residents then volunteered.
Thanks for the response. I’ll have to remember that if we have a vacancy
Here’s a surprise I had. In my working days as a lawyer, I’d sometimes run into folks I’d known around the courthouse before they called it quits. I’d ask, “So how’s retirement?” They’d often respond along the lines of “I’m busier now than I was when I was working. So much to do!”
I always figured they were greatly exaggerating, probably so I wouldn’t feel sorry for them and think they were sitting at home watching soap operas on TV all day.
Then I retired and damn if it isn’t true! I wake up every day with a list of things to get done and wonder how I managed to keep everything afloat while holding down a full time job.
But while I’m just as busy, I will say that the tasks I’m working on are usually a lot more enjoyable than work!
I heard the same thing from retired engineers. My wife and I have always been good at making adventures out of mundane tasks. It’s sad when the busyness involves significant amounts of medical appointments.
I moved to Philly in part so I could be nearer to my daughter and her family. But I think parents who move closer to their kids should realize that they’ll need their own social circle and shouldn’t expect their children to fill that role. The kids have their own lives, and parents should be careful not to cause resentment.
I see some in our 55+ community who have children living nearby. Each have their own social circle and it seems to work out well.
We had that exact conversation with our son before we purchased a home down the street from them. We respect each other’s lives, and it has worked very well so far.
My wife reminded that connecting with people is one of the most important, and often, most challenging if you move, parts of retirement
Very true but we have so many ways to communicate these days.