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The day I thought would never happen finally did on September 30, 2025. For the last 43 years, my salary would appear in my bank account, which would then show a pleasing uptick, providing assurance that all was well with the world. But on September 30, 2025? Nothing! The balance showed, if anything, a small fall. Retirement had finally arrived.
I actually retired on August 25, 2025, but I did receive my final salary at the end of that month. September was spent in a haze. I’ve read experiences of the newly retired, both negative and positive, and mine can best be described as a state of denial.
Sleeping late? No chance. My Shih Tzu (who has never taken a weekend off) sits up around 5 a.m., stares at me hypnotically to awaken me with the power of his mind, until he detects some sign of life. He then completes the process of waking by liberally licking my face. The only option is to take him out, play with him until he has his breakfast, and then he sleeps. Clearly, he is delighted to have me at home 24/7.
My wife? Not so much. Despite vague promises of being regular at the gym (“now that I have time”) and taking up baking, she is not entirely convinced that it is a good thing to have me at home. Seeing me either sleeping in front of the TV or doomscrolling on YouTube hasn’t changed her beliefs.
As for me, I think I’m the same, but there have been changes. Suddenly, the trip to Egypt has been placed on the backburner. I suggested to my wife that we were using too much air conditioning, and that peanut butter is cheaper and tastier than our standard brand. My birthday was celebrated as usual with a party for my colony friends in our common backyard, but I did suggest that this yearly event should next be held for my 70th, five years down the line. My wife agreed to all this and more with equanimity, remarking that I look quite preoccupied. The monthly transfer of money for household expenses from my account to hers, routinely done by the bank over the last five years, mysteriously ran into unspecified scheduling problems. I noted that my blood pressure (BP), which was always normal, had now reached impressive heights and needed a substantial dose of Amlodipine to bring it down. I read stories of people dropping dead on their retirement day. I started regretting the lavish vacations we took to Europe and Africa in previous years.
I’m not sure what changed. We are definitely not poor; if anything, data assures me that we are in the top 10%. Though well short of being able to afford a yacht or a private jet, we have substantial savings and no debt (well, except for the promised support for my two kids through their Master’s program, for which money has been set aside). I held a government job previously from which I get a pension, which I’ve never touched and is enough by itself for an above-modest lifestyle. The second career I had in the Gulf paid about six times the last salary I earned in my government job, and about 30% was saved via Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) over the last 15 years. All retirement calculators assure me that at a 4% withdrawal rate, I should have more than enough money to last our lifetimes, but I am now beset with a feeling that I should have saved more. So, where is the problem?
My own impression is that the monthly salary slip is addictive, and that I am suffering withdrawal symptoms. The sight of my bank account depleting steadily without hope of replenishment is depressing. The only cure for my angst would be to start a part-time job (which should be easy due to my field of specialization), or initiate a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from my mutual fund savings. I am opting for the former and hope that this is curative. Time will tell.
Hi Byjove. Excellent post where you shared your inner feelings that often strike in the first year of retirement.
In Oct/2024, I retired after my 39 years of well-paying and enjoyable Software Engineer job from a 114 year old technology behemoth. It has been my goal all along to make a transition from such a large company job at my age 60 to become an Independent Software Consultant. It took me the first six months to streamline this new way of life. I’m now on a routine to allocate my hours usefully and effectively. I’m hoping to continue this as a glide path until my FRA (Full Retirement Age) here in the U.S
As a medical professional at age 65, your skills can be put to use either in the Gulf or in India for the hours per week and for the total duration you are comfortable with.
You will also find it useful to read the beautiful writings of our beloved Jonathan Clements on the topic of “Enough”. Good luck to you.
https://humbledollar.com/money-guide/enough/
https://humbledollar.com/2025/02/never-enough/
https://humbledollar.com/2024/09/never-quite-enough/
https://humbledollar.com/2019/07/thats-enough/
I’m in a similar but mini version of what 24/7 retirement will look like
I retired (again) on 12/31/24 but I “work” part time for our Parks Department. I get to pick how many hours and what days I want to work each week so it doesn’t feel like work because I don’t have to go if I don’t want to.
Starting mid November the Parks close and I’ll be off until April. I’ll see what will fill my days for four months. I don’t really have a plan because every day seems to fill itself.
I do know that every day God gives me appreciated , has a reason, and a purpose
Thanks for your honest, heartfelt post. I think this is a great reminder that it’s not ultimately about the money. It’s how we feel, the relationships we have, the things we do that feel worthwhile. Money can help to facilitate those things, but it’s not the answer.
All the very best to you as you work through this phase.
It’s funny that while I was the tightwad when it came to spending so we would have enough for retirement, when we retired I was fine spending. After all that is why we saved. My wife is the one that has anxiety about spending too much, despite the fact that I give her a quarterly report of our portfolio balance and net worth. After five years our portfolio balance is at an all time high despite the fact that other than a small pension it is all we are utilizing for income until we collect Social Security at 70 in two, and three years.
Thanks, David, that is reassuring.
Byjove, what a great, heartfelt post.
Having a bit of structure to our lives helps us enjoy the passing of time. House cleaning for example, there’s floors day, bathrooms day, sheets day…. Sexy I know, but we share the duties, and it works for us.
I meet friends for lunch 2 or 3 times per week, I go to the gym 3 or 4 times (Chris will accompany me a couple times).
I usually start the week with a to do list. This is a habit carried over from my work days, but it helps in retirement as well.
We also engage in spontaneous things; day trips, date nights, etc. We have season tickets for Broadway shows (bus and truck tours of course), tickets for a couple concerts, and a few short trips are planned. Nights out with friends or family as well.
And of course there’s the time spent with my make-believe HD friends… you guys are way nicer than the monsters hiding under my bed!
Best of luck, Byjove
I think a lot of your feelings are normal. We have only been retired for 18 mos or so and it took awhile for me to feel comfortable with how our finances are settling out. It definitely is a shock to go from a regular paycheck to living on your retirement income. I am not sure if you are just living on your investments, or if you have other sources of income? We turned things on gradually while my spouse worked very part time for the first year. I also set up buckets for our everyday expenses: social security and (small) pensions in the checking account and IRA goes into the money market for larger expenses. I like having the buckets and they give natural guardrails for our spending. Hang in there. Chris
Thanks, Chris. Grateful for your comments. I do have a government pension waiting for us back home, we are unlikely to starve to death! Actually, we should be able to maintain our current lifestyle when I start drawing on my investments, which probably requires a major reset between my broker, financial adviser and chartered accountant. Not looking forward.
I enjoyed your forum post. Thanks. A few random thoughts I had after reading it.
The only time I encountered the phrase Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) related to retirement and investment plans was for a person originally from India. If that is the country where you primarily pay your national taxes I wonder about how comparing the financial aspects of retirement in India compare with the US system. I would think that besides differences we make as individuals that where we nest could greatly impact our financial decisions, so is a burn rate of 4% the appropriate measure? I find I am happier with a guardrails approach to retirement spending.
We also had a Shih Tzu for 15 years. Great pet for us but we found our decision to stop having pets after he died was a surprisingly difficult one for us. This K-9 breed seems to have health issues related to their teeth. I wish I had addressed this issue sooner with our pet.
In regard to being home with my wife after retirement from a full time job the phrase “she married you forever but not for lunch” applied to us. I would encourage any couple to also find separate time and activities in retirement.
At my current age of 75, apparently about a decade older than you, I still have a feeling that I should have saved more. I have worked part time since retirement from full time work and I have been happy with a part time seasonal job doing something I like in a position where I can say no to a potential assignment I do not want to do.
Good luck in your initial go go years in retirement.
You guessed right; our final retirement destination is India (Goa, to be specific), though right now we are still in the Gulf, trying to decide on an appropriate time to move. Quality of life here is excellent, and I know that we will have to struggle for many things that we take for granted here (such as regular electric supply and disciplined traffic) in India. On the flip side, food is much cheaper over there (we sometimes find it difficult to believe the bill after eating out in India) as is medical care.
A couple of financial planners in India did the maths and they have come up with 3.3% as a safe withdrawal limit for Indian investments, but with a crazy man in charge and the markets all over the place, I will need a different approach. The sequence of returns risk seems to be very much in action (the Indian NIFTY index returned 1% over the last year!), which is no doubt contributing to my anxiety.
Our Shih Tzu will be 5 years old in November, and while he is a major factor in our future plans, we will have it no other way.
Our daughter did an exchange program in India also, but it wasn’t a nursing program like Bill’s daughter. We also kept the teacher when the Indian students came to the US. Good memories. Chris
My daughter was an exchange nursing student years ago for two-week trip to Panchgani, India. The teaching hospital she worked and learned at had a positive impact upon her medical career.
I doubt your state has anything to do with money. More likely neither you nor your wife was in the retirement mindset.
When I announced in 2008 I was going to retire, my wife sad ok, but I’m not changing any of my activities. No problem, and that is exactly what happened since.
We still call the first of the month “payday” except now it’s a pension plus SS deposited on the second and fourth Wednesday.
Why are you worried about withdrawals when you say your pension is sufficient?
Good question, I wish I knew!
Really honest post—thanks for sharing this. Can I ask, did the retirement date come up quickly, or did you have time to plan for it? I’m curious whether you’d thought much about how you’d fill your days beforehand, because the psychological adjustment seems to have caught you off guard even though you’re clearly well-prepared financially.
I had anticipated that retirement would come around one day, and my finances were very much in place (we have a very conservative financial adviser, who is strongly into debt investments) when the day arrived. But it still did catch me off guard in ways that are quite inexplicable, hence my post. I am glad to receive so many comments that these are quite normal. Regarding the psychology, my original plan was to lie on the beach with a can of beer, which my wife rapidly vetoed. Seriously, I did have a bucket list of physical activities (mostly impractical due to age limitations, such as taking up roller skating, though horse riding is still an option!) and travel (but my anxiety over the finances is putting a mental crimp over these, delaying our planned trip to Egypt and East Europe). I am hopeful that more positive feelings will emerge as time passes (as predicted by you guys) and our travel plans will soon be back on track. Bungee jumping, anyone?
Bite the bullet on at least one trip. Then reappraise how you feel. Once you see how spend fits within your budget and what proportion of your entire portfolio it has been you may relax a bit more.
Remember you always have the option of returning to work, you don’t have the option of getting back a day you have worked. And time works against all of us ultimately.