Falcone’s Rules

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AUTHOR: Laurianne Falcone on 7/04/2024

This is a spinoff of Dick Quinn’s excellent rants post last week.  Bill Maher does a segment at the end of his show called “New Rules”.  It occurred to me that I have some societal rules of my own.  These would be self-enforcing (no citizens’ arrests please) but I am curious what you’d add to this list:

1.You may not look at your phone while driving, ever.  Not even at a red light!  If you need to look at your phone, please park your car first.

2.You may not use the self-checkout if you have 2 carts full of groceries.

3.You may not keep your backpack on while standing on a crowded train (also applies to boarding a plane).

4.You may not microwave fish in the communal kitchen at work.

5.You may not clip your nails on public transportation (applies to both fingers and toes).

6.You may not keep your phone on the table while we’re eating together.  Unless of course you’re on call or waiting for an important call.  Important is defined as someone is in the hospital vs. making a hair appointment.

7.Companies must make their products easier to open (ahem pharma) so I don’t have to get out the toolbox to do so.

8.Retired people may not shop on evenings or weekends (unless it’s an emergency).  You also may not reserve the 6 am appointment at the dentist for the same reason (again unless it’s an emergency).

Obviously this last one is tongue in cheek but I wanted to end my curmudgeonly post with a chuckle 🙂




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