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I’VE FOUND RETIREMENT to be a conundrum. We finally have the time to pursue any activity we want in a leisurely manner—spend time with family and friends, exercise, sleep, travel, read, binge watch TV, knock items off our bucket list. On the other hand, I now hear the constant ticking of life’s clock.
Tick tock, tick tock.
For the decades before retiring, life for my wife and me was pedal-to-the-metal with work, children, commuting and chores, though we also found time for some leisure activities. We were on life’s proverbial treadmill and fully embraced the rat race. We were also often stressed, short on sleep and behind on chores.
Yet we loved every minute of our fast-paced life. The best part: I was completely unaware of life’s ticking clock.
In the seven years since retiring, my wife and I have traveled, hiked extensively, and been there whenever our children needed a helping hand. We’ve reconnected with old friends. I’ve ramped up my jogging and biking, and tried out new things like fishing, wake-surfing and the requisite pickleball.
In addition, we now get more sleep and have more time for volunteer activities. My wife manages our VRBO endeavors, while I’ve written many articles and a book.
On the surface, retirement seems so perfect: no commute, no work and the freedom to do the things we enjoy, while our adult children progress nicely. Busy is good. But during the down time, the ticking of that darn clock keeps sounding in my head.
That relentless clock has driven us to contemplate the time-value tradeoff of life’s many activities, with our remaining time becoming ever more precious. Family, friends, exercise, outdoor activities and vacations get an automatic pass. Always more, please. Activities important to our future lives—chores, financial planning, health maintenance and the like—also get priority.
On the other hand, we’re constantly questioning whether marginal activities are worth pursuing—and that includes writing blog posts like this one. In the no-go category falls much of TV, news, social media, politics, click-baited internet sites, thick books, long blog posts and princes seeking help with their inheritance. Experiences must do more than merely fill time.
For example, we use a 75% Rotten Tomatoes hurdle before pressing play on TV shows and movies. Likewise, we typically seek reviews of around 4.5 stars from Amazon for books, AllTrails for hikes, Yelp for restaurants and Wine.com for vino.
Even if the reviews are good, we sometimes discard TV shows after 20 minutes and books after 20 pages. I have a file of abandoned blog posts that just weren’t worth my time to complete. We now regularly ditch outdoor activities if the weather is miserable and recently left a mediocre theater production early. If activities aren’t going well, we no longer tolerate them to completion but instead move on.
Therein lies retirement’s conundrum: how to get the biggest bang out of our remaining time. Much has been written about finding purpose and engagement in our retirement activities. For most HumbleDollar readers, this probably looms larger than financial issues. The offsetting challenge is to undertake these activities at a comfortable and joyful retiree pace.
My conclusion: Managing time’s tradeoffs—with an eye to muting that ticking clock—is the overriding retiree dilemma.
John Yeigh is an author, coach and youth sports advocate. His book “Win the Youth Sports Game” was published in 2021. John retired in 2017 from the oil industry, where he negotiated financial details for multi-billion-dollar international projects. Check out his earlier articles.
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I am glad you concluded that the marginal benefit of this piece made it worth finishing. It is excellent. I agree that the #1 challenge of retirement, for me at least, is weighing carefully which of the options available to you are worth pursuing. I mostly agree with those you single out as inherently worthwhile. For me, the real challenge comes with things that require a continuing investment in order to get the best payoff – things like playing the piano, keeping a journal, listening to the full range of the classical CDs I own and love, playing a sport (like golf, not the daily exercise that is non-negotiable), and keeping connections with that outer fringe of friends and relatives. Thanks for your insights.
Martin – I am with you as there are too many interesting pursuits to focus on just a couple requiring huge time commitments.
For example, I have switched completely to non-competitive athletic activities (jogging, hiking, biking, water-sports) in retirement. Competing is no fun being lousy and requires too much time commitment to achieve solid performance levels. I can also partake of many of these with my wife and family.
Excellent article. I have struggled with this myself. Asking the question ” Does this activity meaningfully contribute to the vision I have for the remaining years of my life?” helps bring some clarity. I avoided joining any of the numerous activity clubs if it did not fit this criteria.
A friend received a terminal diagnosis of cancer, not knowing if he had 1 year or 5. When I asked him how he was handling things, after pausing several longs seconds, he pensively replied, “You know, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You get clarity on what’s really important.” In his case, it was advocacy for children and children’s rights. For me, it is what are my best opportunities to acccomplish some lasting good in the world? What is really important for you?
Family is most important.
Family is my best opportunity for accomplishing some lasting good in the world as well.
“Yet we loved every minute of our fast-paced life. The best part: I was completely unaware of life’s ticking clock.”
This is common in our modern society, regardless of whether or not it’s “loved”. We rush through life and suddenly realize it’s nearing the end and now the need to further “optimize” our remaining time. Perhaps a life lived at a bit of a slower pace, as is still done in some other societies around the globe, would avoid some of the angst. Just a thought.
So true. When we lived in Europe, we were always amazed to see folks sitting for hours at a coffee shop table in a city square. We’d leave and return, and the coffee sippers would still be savoring their coffee and biscuit.
John – thanks for sharing on a topic that is important – or I should say, “what is important to you and your time.” 🙂 My wife and I walked out of a theater production about a year ago. It was part of a series of shows, but that one just wasn’t engaging for us. (nothing political or headline grabbing, just not enjoyable to us) We snagged a wonderful cocktail each around the corner at a local establishment prior to an enjoyable dinner out. Time was well spent on that alternative evening path.
Exactly.
John, I’m glad you took the time for the “marginal activity” of this post. I appreciate both your thoughtfulness and your brevity.
You didn’t mention it, but I’d be interested to know whether your newfound sense of urgency has caused you to make any difficult decisions on the people in your life. It has with me. I have taken a hard look at whether I wanted to expend any more of my precious remaining time on certain relationships that had been important in the past, and in several cases the answer has been no. And these people, two of them siblings, aren’t in my life anymore.
Mike – We have no toxic folks in our lives. We’ve lost a few former close friends who have drifted away but also reconnected with some old friends. We initially regretted losing the drifters, but tick-tok, life must move on. We only have a small, tight-knit family with whom we remain close.
John, You’ve done a brilliant job expressing exactly what I’ve been thinking, but have been unable to express in words or on paper. The tick tock of life’s clock, abandoning bad experiences before too much time is wasted and etc. I’m pretty sure I will be quoting you in future conversations about my retired life.
Don’t overthink it John. No tradeoffs, it is what it is and the goal IMO is simply do what you want to do. It doesn’t matter if I spend a few hours watching documentaries on YouTube or drive five hours to our vacation home as we did this week.
I’ve been retired 14 years and at age 80, I delight in being an actuarial loss to my employers pension plan.
For the last many years I have been trying to reconnect with an old friend, a high school buddy who was also my navigator when we drove in car rally’s a few years after graduation. I recently found his obituary. He died twenty years ago at age 60. He and many of my other friends never got to enjoy a retirement dilemma.
Dick – I’d suggest that we of the Humble Dollar cohort do tend to give careful consideration to (overthink) things. I believe this is more critical for time and relationships, than money. Above, Dan nailed the biggest takeaway in that it is OK to leave (quit) things that are just not working for us so that we save wasted or regretted time.
That’s also a good way to look at it Richard. As my recently departed friend Kenny used to say, “it’s better to be over the hill than under it”.
Great article John. Lots in here to think about. We were in Savannah recently and left a very lame “ghost tour” mid way. It was more intuitive than calculated, but it was a good choice. We are in the same page as your no-question group. We spent most if Saturday in Brooklyn at soccer and baseball games. It was a great day.
Very thoughtful post, John…one of those that was well worth taking to completion. I’ve been aware of the ticking clock throughout my life, having memorized a Bible verse from James early on: “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” This hasn’t been an unpleasant thought for me, but it does make me realize my earthly life is a “project” of limited duration.
John, thanks for taking the time to write this article. Add to the no-go list talking to long-winded people about the same. I avoid phone calls or meetings with those folks unless it’s specifically for my gift of time to them.