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WHEN I WAS IN MY 20s, I didn’t think much about money. My spending wasn’t lavish. I didn’t go to high-end restaurants or wear expensive clothes.
Still, if I wanted a book or a compact disc, I bought it. I wasted money on fast food instead of cooking at home. I blew money on electronics like a fancy CD player and bought a bigger, more expensive television than I needed. For somebody who considered himself reasonably bright, I was stupid with money.
The low point of my financial life came shortly after I got divorced in the mid-1980s. I was age 28. Despite having a good job working for a newspaper, I was in debt and responsible for significant child support payments. I lived in an apartment I couldn’t afford and spent money I didn’t have, running up larger and larger credit card debt. I hit financial rock bottom when I applied for a Sears credit card with a $500 credit limit—and got turned down.
I remember sitting with pen and paper many nights, adding and subtracting numbers, trying to figure out how I kept getting deeper and deeper into the hole every month. Unfortunately for my bottom line, my interests lay in getting better at my job and reading good books, not in cutting expenses, clipping coupons and giving serious thought before making what were often silly purchases.
Maybe I was trying to even the score. I grew up poor. We didn’t go hungry and we were loved, but money was scarce. We lived on a farm several miles from anything like a grocery store or movie theater.
For a few years, my two younger siblings and I received an allowance of 35 cents a week. I have no idea how that sum was determined, but I do know a quarter and a dime in the late 1960s bought a comic book, a candy bar and a coke for each of us when we went into town. Those two coins each week were important.
Memories of having no money can leave a lasting mark. Like me, some HumbleDollar readers have likely experienced periods of their life when they were afraid to check their mailbox, knowing there were likely bills in envelopes that screamed FINAL NOTICE.
And then there was the angst of writing a check for an important bill a day before getting paid, and having to calculate the odds of the check getting cashed before my paycheck got deposited. Getting hit with a $35 overdraft fee back then was like getting punched in the stomach.
Thanks to my good fortune of meeting a smart, practical woman, I eventually stopped spending more than I made, aggressively paid down debt and got smarter about my finances. Wising up was not immediate. I was stubborn. Fortunately, my future wife didn’t consider me a lost cause—and didn’t send me on my way.
Perhaps my humbling money experiences are why I’ve always been drawn to books about how to be smarter about money, or how to arrange your life if you don’t have any, or what you should do if you come into a huge financial windfall. Books such as Barbara Ehrenreich’s Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America and Scott Smith’s thriller A Simple Plan are fascinating reads.
My wife and I worked hard, and saved throughout our marriage. And yet do any of us ever stop thinking about money, even if we’re comfortably retired? A side effect of having once been broke is the fear, however irrational, of it happening again. In my mind’s eye, there’s always the possibility of another Sears moment, one that’s quietly and patiently waiting, just out of sight.
Tony Wilson spent most of his career working as a journalist and then newsroom technology trainer at news organizations in Kentucky, Kansas City, New York City, London and Geneva. He finished his career as the translations planner at printer manufacturer Lexmark. Tony’s previous article was Happy to Follow.
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After a 54 year career in financial services and academia, teaching financial service topics, I read your article with a degree of shame. When I look back on some of the dumb “money moves” of my past, I hang my head.
I am sure there are additional dumb money moves, but these are the worst.
I take some solace in knowing these errors occurred in my 20’s and early 30’s and later in life I made up for them as much as possible.
I remember in the late 50’s and early sixties, while living in Germany, as an Army Brat, my 4 siblings and I got 50 cents a week allowance. That would cover a game at the bowling ally with a coke and hot dog…or a movie with popcorn and a drink. Good Times.
Until I got to high school in the US in 1966, I had no idea there were people more well off than my family and me. Interacting with non military folks for the first time, I became aware of name brands, and logo’d clothing, and kids driving their own cars. Quite a difference, but years later, I feel like I was fortunate in realizing things that you earn are far more valuable than things given to you. My 50th high school reunion bore out that truth.
Thanks for the thoughtful and interesting article.
My Dad was born in ’33 and had a lot of memories about growing up on a farm in lean times. I still hear those stories in the back of my mind…like when my Dad’s older brother was given a dime to buy a loaf of bread and whatever else (!) but as he was walking to the corner store, and was tossing the dime up in the air and catching it in his mouth…he swallowed it. They had to wait to get that dime back before they could get the loaf of bread. And they only had an outhouse. So, I like to think my grandparents are looking over my shoulder smiling as I refuse to throw away the heel and I make toast with it!
i grew up poor, on welfare, divorced mother of 3 raised us, and that experience still influences my thoughts and spending habits. Like the author, we had food and shelter, but nothing extra. We never had a family car. Now, I am what others would consider wealthy, but when it comes to buying everyday things, like food and clothing, etc., I look for the best prices. For example, with commodities like milk, cream, bread, etc., I refuse to shop at super markets that charge 50% more for those items. I am not one of those who doesn’t enjoy the fruits of my labor though. We are not lacking the good things in life, and I do spend money on my adult kids and whatever