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WE ALL HAVE BAD DAYS. But for some folks, it seems every day is a bad one. No matter how good things seem to be, they’ll focus on the one bad thing. Think about the negative thoughts that you have:
These thoughts were prompted by the recent death of Charlie Munger. He and Warren Buffett were friends and partners for decades. The Wall Street Journal’s Jason Zweig wrote that Munger “possessed what philosophers call epistemic humility: a profound sense of how little anyone can know and how important it is to open and change your mind.”
In a 2019 interview with CNBCs Becky Quick, when asked about the secret to a long and happy life, Munger answered: “It’s so simple…. You don’t have a lot of envy. You don’t have a lot of resentment. You don’t overspend your income. You stay cheerful in spite of your troubles. You deal with reliable people and you do what you’re supposed to do. And all these simple rules work so well to make your life better.”
In the interview, he advocated “staying cheerful… because it’s a wise thing to do. Is that so hard? And can you be cheerful when you’re absolutely mired in deep hatred and resentment? Of course, you can’t. So why would you take it on?”
Nevertheless, many folks do take on hatred and resentment. Nothing pleases them more than bringing others down to their level. Misery, it seems, loves company.
Negative people are known for their lack of humor and morose mentality. Their mantra is that nothing is so bad that it can’t get worse. Cheerfulness is not in their mindset. At the extreme, they have an unrivaled capacity to extract unhappiness from any situation, even a cheerful one.
I’ll grant you that it’s difficult to remain cheerful in light of sickness and ongoing serious health problems. I’m no stranger to these, so all naysayers take note. Only a fool is happy all the time. That doesn’t mean we should inflict our problems and negativity on others.
We’ve all had terrible things happen to us. Is it necessary to reveal the grim details of our bad experiences to the world? Are we making a point or are we just trying to garner sympathy?
As Munger noted in his CNBC interview, people “come into this world… pre-made.” Unfortunately, you’ll seldom—and perhaps never—encounter a negative person who you can convert from bitter and mean-spirited to benevolent and generous. The upshot: We would all do well to avoid negative people.
Well said. We should get those constantly negative people out of our life. It is important to remain optimistic or more precisely non-pessimistic. We do need to watch out forced (or toxic) positivity though.
In case you may like this podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4TpUmGWSdRwAqUeMYUfLQu?go=1&sp_cid=e7e9986c46563ad7a62534a5dde23d89&utm_source=embed_player_p&utm_medium=desktop&nd=1&dlsi=a7279583878944b4
Thanks for your comments, SCao…and for the link. I did listen – very interesting. It’s good to have an open mind.
I’m one of the inherently negative ones; don’t rub it in!
You are fine, Rich. As long as we don’t bring others down too. If you’re like me, we all need a little uplifting encouragement now and then, and some positive feedback.
Thanks for your comments.
Sorry I missed this yesterday but I’ve enjoyed it very much today. As a nurse working with young families, I learned that we are all born with a particular temperament (personality). Some folks tend to be more cautious and pessimistic, while others are naturally more positive and outgoing. However, it’s possible to develop a positive outlook if we want and are encouraged to do so. With that in mind, I recently sent a handwritten letter to a prominent public figure, encouraging the person to exhibit more compassion and empathy. I knew the letter would never be read by the intended recipient, but my thought was that it might encourage the person who did read my letter and processed the response. And now I have a very nice canned response on fancy stationery 😀. It was worth my time.
Linda, you are a thoughtful and wise woman. The danger in aligning ourselves with negative people is that they can drag us down.
We all have our negative thoughts to conquer and we need positive people who can lift us to greater heights. In our careers and all aspects of life, we need to look to those who are successful and do as they do.
thank you for commenting and for your compassion for others. I bet you were a great nurse.
Thanks so much, Marjorie. I appreciate our virtual relationship and have shared many of your insights with my sister who continues to care for our mother in the home they share. She gets very down sometimes but the little twins who moved next door and their wonderful nanny and parents really light up her life! Thanks again.
Thanks, Marjorie. I needed the pep talk. 2024 has gotten off to a rough start, but I can control my mindset about it.
Dana, We all get vexed and have disappointments and new challenges constantly.
you have the heart and intelligence to weather it out. Thanks for your comments. Better days are coming.
Marjorie, loved the article. Charlie Munger also had what I admire in people: a lot of common sense. That and gratitude should go a long way to peace of mind.
Sonja, I agree. Yes, common sense is not all that common anymore and gratitude is good for our health and well being. Thank you for yourcomments
Marjorie, great article filled with wisdom. Reminded me of a quote I read many years ago which I’ve tried to live by: “I’m an optimist because optimists live longer.” Also, Dick Quinn’s comment on gratitude makes a very important point. I’ve found it best to live with an “attitude of gratitude.”
Jerry…It would seem that you have wisdom too.
Thank you for your sage comments.
Too many negative people in your life can be a drag, but I wouldn’t subscribe to any thought of completely avoiding those personality types (not that you have suggested it). The “all you can do is wish them well” approach doesn’t work for me. These negative-Nelly folks often have a lifetime of experiences which have contributed to their “take” on life, and I’ve found that helpful in navigating a world of sometimes-dishonest people. With an understanding of the clouds that follow them, I’m able to have more gratitude for my own life.
More so, some of my most negative friends are ones that enjoy my slightly more positive attitude. Some of them have gone through miserable depressions and I was happy/honored to help lift them up… not running away from them. One of my friends seems to need my positivity… often calling me explicitly to get my view on something with which he is struggling in a dark place. Maybe negativity is a disease, much like depression or addiction.
We all need each other’s help and it seems that dodging negative people entirely (again, not that you have suggested that) doesn’t exactly warm my heart. I want to say that old “if you’re not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem”, but that could be a bit abrasive. So I’ll just say… Be the support for a negative person. Find a happy and healthy middle ground!
Marjorie, I confess I saw a little of myself in your description of negative people. I regularly find myself thinking about and planning for “what could go wrong”.
However, I luckily have the perfect counter-balance: My wife of 35 years is an eternal optimist and always believes that things will work out just fine. Her sunny disposition is my best medicine.
Andrew, you perfectly describe me, and my wife. A patient of mine once opened my eyes into my psyche by stating, “I’m a control freak (can also apply to those like us that always think and try to plan for what can go wrong) because of my anxiety”. We believe that if we can think about and control everything in our lives (which of course is impossible) then it helps to ease our anxiety
Andrew, while it is good to be cautious, what you have described is worrying and worrying can’t have any positive effect on our lives. All worry is wasted and drains us of energy.
you are indeed fortunate to have found the perfect counter balance in your wife’s disposition. And, I suspect, through your comments and articles, that you are more positive than you give yourself credit for.
I always remember this thought from a famous SCOTUS justice, “I always try to be on the sunrise side of the mountain”.
Thank you for your comments, neyugn. To paraphrase Ed’s comment,it can make very dark times a little brighter.
Thanks for this article, Marjorie. Like Dick, I also thought of gratitude. During a recent illness, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of thankfulness for those that helped me through my weakness. An attitude of thankfulness can make truly dark times a little brighter.
Ed, I feel the same Way towards the friends who have been so helpful to me, so much so that. I gave them all tribute in my “Care Money Can’t Buy” article.Your thoughts are well noted. Thank you for your always uplifting comments.
One other thing adding to a better overall life, being grateful, appreciating what you have. Gratitude is healthy.
Look around, in just a few minutes it’s easy to find someone less fortunate than ourselves.
Thanks for your comments, Dick. Being grateful leads to cheerfulness and cheerfulness leads to happiness or at least a measure of contentment.