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I GREW UP IN INDIA. There, it’s quite common to have outside help for household chores. Most middle-class families hire someone to help with washing, dishes and cleaning. Affluent households typically have a cook, driver and housekeeper.
After coming to the U.S., I noticed that most households weren’t dependent on domestic help, thanks to appliances like a dishwasher, vacuum cleaner and washer-dryer. A few coworkers went as far as building their own cabinets and decks, painting their homes and changing the oil in the car.
This do-it-yourself culture resonated with me for three reasons. First, I valued independence—the ability to do things at my own pace, rather than waiting on someone else. Second, the idea of working equally hard at work and at home gave me a kick. Third, it appealed to my sense of frugality. I wanted to be like my DIY coworkers.
But it was wishful thinking on my part. I tried various home maintenance jobs that required no special tools or expertise. But I didn’t especially enjoy fixing toilets, repairing garage doors, blowing leaves or mowing lawns. These mundane tasks felt increasingly burdensome. Still, the idea of getting outside help was at odds with my values. I’d no longer be the independent, hardworking and frugal person I perceived myself to be.
But in truth, I was being stupid and stingy. If I could afford it, why not pay someone to do these unexciting chores? Reluctantly, I availed myself of yardwork and housecleaning services, but I still resisted offloading anything else. That changed when I cut back the number of hours I worked.
How did a smaller paycheck motivate me to spend more for domestic help? My reasoning was simple. With my part-time job, I was effectively paying back a prorated percentage of my fulltime salary to my employer, so I could have a few extra hours for myself. If my personal time was as valuable as that pay cut, it made no sense to spend it on uninteresting tasks that someone else could do for an even smaller price.
Nice reflection Sanjib. I grew up in a household where my dad was not handy but he managed to team up with neighbors when he needed to get something done. As a college student, I learned how to paint houses during the summers. As a young adult, I worked with friends to repair cars and repair and remodel several houses in which I lived. The ‘sweat equity’ generated overtime made it easier to provide for my family. Now in retirement, my wife has to restrain me from doing things like trimming trees and cleaning out the gutters, and doing minor plumbing and electrical work. I hire contractors to do most the repairs and maintenance on our house – and I love not feeling compelled to do the work myself.
Thanks, Ocher. Great to hear that you used to repair/remodel your own house and car. I have done small repairs around the house and still do a little, but never felt too confident about it. I’ve always admired people who are able to do such work themselves. Last year, a friend of my daughter painted her apartment all by herself (with the landlord’s permission). I was so impressed with the 25-year-old girl that she managed this between her job and evening classes. Kudos to the DIYers.
Growing up in the US, many young men are into things like carpentry and auto mechanics. They like owning and using tools, and it’s part of the culture. Everybody has a table saw and a lathe in their basement, and owns a large chest for of tool – what do you mean, you don’t know how to weld?
Educated immigrants from other countries are befuddled by this. They don’t think of building and making things as a hobby, and a useful set of skills. But many US men are into this. And you can save a lot of money if you can do your own plumbing and electricity, and frame your basement, and put up drywall and lay down hardwood floors.
Sad story to add here: a pair of Middle-eastern brothers moved to my state. One was a cardiologist, the other was a contractor. The contractor was having a ditch dug with a backhoe. The cardiologist was observing when there was a small problem. He hopped in the ditch to fix it; the ditch collapsed and killed him.
DIY still requires some self-awareness.
Everybody has a table saw and a lathe?
I don’t. I’m extremely unhandy with fixing things.
Thanks, Ormode. A few of my immigrant friends developed a taste for DIY home-improvement work and they also have the stuff you mentioned. It’s amazing how much they can get done around the house without needing any outside help.
Down the street from my house, there’s an auto shop where the sign reads: “we fix what your husband fixed.”
🙂 Thanks, John. I never tried automobile repair myself but one of my next-door neighbors regularly does oil service and repairs to his cars. Perhaps I should check with his wife how the car goes after repairs :).
My father came from a country where even the middle class had domestic help. I have since met many such immigrants. For an American it’s tempting to ask, why did you leave such a place?!? Tongue-in-cheek, of course. I certainly recognize the advantages of America. But, I, like you, would likely also pick up the housework if I cut back work hours. Just makes sense.
Thanks, Ben. For me, picking up housework that I didn’t like was the main problem. I enjoy spending time in the garden, watering and pruning the plants, etc. I still do those, but not mowing or other routine things.
I’m with you. No DIY for me. In fact, my family has banned me from any projects I’m so inept. Fortunately I have a son who knows what he is doing and enjoys DIY.
Most of my life I couldn’t afford to pay for stuff I could do, like lawn work. I solved that in retirement by moving to a condo.
On those rare occasions I’m dragged to Home Depot, I get chills just walking in the door and can’t wait to get out.
Thanks, Richard. Home Depot flusters me:).