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Meet BraggingBucks

Jonathan Clements

GET TO KNOW OUR NEW website: BraggingBucks.com. Intended as a sister site to HumbleDollar, the new website is designed for those who can’t quite shake that hankering for market-beating returns.

It’s become clear that notions like indexing, diversification and a sense of contentment have limited appeal—and that many folks want more excitement from their financial life. Perhaps an occasional flier on a hot stock. Or playing the commodities market. Or going from all-stocks to all-cash and then back again.

When you’re ready to move beyond the humdrum index funds favored by HumbleDollar, BraggingBucks will be there to help. Tesla. Leveraged exchange-traded funds. Bitcoin. Special purpose acquisition companies (SPACs). Market timing. Tesla. Options writing.

BraggingBucks will cover it all with a team of eager young writers, all of whom have learned the ropes at the Robinhood School of Hard Knocks. Such talent doesn’t come cheap. To ensure the new site can afford to hire the best and brightest, we’ve established partnerships with up-and-coming financial firms eager to promote their stock-picking prowess through sponsored blog posts.

Let’s face it, in today’s fast-paced markets, it isn’t enough to simply look at our portfolios every month or even every week. We can’t simply buy, hold and hope. That’s why the new site will offer these unique features:

  • Stock of the minute. We’ll generate these recommendations using a proprietary financial model that analyzes momentum, valuations and the potential for our partners to accumulate large stock positions ahead of time, which will then be available for readers to buy.
  • Hourly market forecasts. Using another proprietary model that incorporates cutting-edge algorithms, artificial intelligence, behavioral insights and laser surgery, we’ll generate forecasts with a frequency never before tried on Wall Street.
  • Market-beating newsletters. Accompanying the new website will be nine newsletters, all of which will be initially available at no cost. Each newsletter will be focused on one of the nine U.S. style boxes, such as small-cap value, large-cap blend and mid-cap growth. Each month, we’ll email out our recommended stock picks.

We’re all but certain that at least two or three of the newsletters will outpace the S&P 500 over the next year. We’ll then close down the laggards, while charging a modest $199 a year to continue receiving the market-beating newsletters. We’re confident that this strategy will produce the best past performance that money can buy.

We also plan to launch companion mutual funds with 5.5% sales commissions and 2% annual expenses. Both costs will be a tremendous benefit for fund shareholders, because they’ll create an added incentive for us to try really, really hard to beat the market.

What if the mutual funds falter, the newsletters bomb, the market predictions flop and the stock picks prove to be duds, and we’re hit with a raft of investor complaints? We’ll just remind everybody that it’s April Fool’s Day.

Jonathan Clements is the founder and editor of HumbleDollar. Follow him on Twitter @ClementsMoney and on Facebook, and check out his earlier articles.

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JesseS213
3 years ago

Good one! I got, got.

Ormode
3 years ago

I do know one fellow who bought 8000 shares of Apple in 2004, and never sold – he does a fair amount of bragging.
You can show he’s not that great by pointing out that he bought a similar amount of Amazon at the same time, but sold it when it reached 240, because he thought that was about the limit for a bookstore.

Jerry Cooney
3 years ago

You had me scratching my head till it was obvious, congrats, got me

booch221
3 years ago

You forgot:

We’ll calculate our performance based on backtesting.

R Quinn
3 years ago

You really had me convinced.

Thomas Spaventa
3 years ago

So BraggingBucks won’t cover the NFT market? I’m bored, next!

No joke, I just checked Motley Fool and they have an article where they unironically recommend investing in Tesla, Palantir, and Twitter. After spending time on this site and other pro passive investing communities, I sometimes forget how the average active investor thinks. I’ve got to hand it to them though, they sure are entertaining! 😂

Last edited 3 years ago by Thomas Spaventa
Ormode
3 years ago

Palantir is interesting. The founder created crazy classes of stock to insure they would always have control, so in essence they still own the company. The stockholders are suing in Delaware Chancery Court.

David Powell
3 years ago

🤣😂🙌🏻

Nicholas Clements
3 years ago

I was wondering when I would see the first April Fools of the day! It didn’t take me long to catch on but I was saying to myself “what the ****” initially!

parkslope
3 years ago

You had me until the third paragraph. When can we expect the BraggingBucks IPO?

Jonathan Clements
Admin
3 years ago
Reply to  parkslope

Who needs an IPO? The plan is to avoid all those awkward due diligence questions and sell directly to a SPAC.

BMORE
3 years ago

Hilarious! I was completely suckered until you got to that high load mutual fund. I thought Jonathan had bought a sports car and switched to day trading. Not so funny, the hedge fund my financial advisor recently recommended: 2% load, 3.7% annual expenses plus up to 20% profits taken (6% last year). The 5 year average return of 18% seemed good for some portfolio spice, but was actually less than low cost active Vanguard funds like Capital Opportunity or Int Growth.

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