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An AI editor helped research and polish this, but the overthinking is all mine.
Two months into retirement, I’ve been thinking less about how to build wealth and more about what to do with it once you’ve reached a point where you feel “done” with the accumulation game. Maybe you’ve been there too—saved enough, checked the boxes, and then looked around wondering, *What now?*
One recent post on Of Dollars & Data estimated that a U.S. household might need roughly $3 million to $5 million to live fully on their own terms. I get it. That kind of number gives clarity and comfort. But there’s a catch: the kind of “freedom” that number buys can start to feel like a retreat from life, rather than engagement with it.
When I walked away from full-time work, I thought I’d arrived. Instead I found space—so much space—that I started missing the very things I’d assumed I liked escaping: purpose, community, shared time, contribution. Money that helps you disconnect is useful; money that helps you belong may be more interesting.
Have you ever found yourself saying, “Yes—I’m financially set. Now how do I plug in?” What actions have you taken (or considered) to use your “enough” for something bigger than yourself? I’d love to hear your stories and advice.
It is so important to retire to something, not just to retire away from something no longer inspiring. In my case it was volunteeer work, chairing a college board, a hospital board and a foundation board. Also at church and by mentoring chemical engineering students at my alma mater. Plus lots of tennis, pickleball, biking, hiking, fishing and travel. The only downside of such a full and rich retirement is the way time is rushing by. I’d like another fifty years of this phase of life, and turning 70 in three weeks, that’s highly unlikely!
Instead I found space—so much space—that I started missing the very things I’d assumed I liked escaping
I’ve been contemplating a reply to this post all day. The above quote states your feelings so well. I didn’t experience being thrust into space like most retirees.
My journey to retirement was 20 years long. It wasn’t deliberate, it just sort of unfolded that way.
After working 30 years on the beer truck, my body said it was time to go. At age 50 I became a registered rep for a huge insurance company. Pure agony that was. After a couple years I started my income tax business. Please don’t laugh when I tell you it was fun. It takes a special kind of nerd to think preparing taxes is fun, but I loved the clients, I was good at it, and the busy season is only 11 weeks long.
I spent the other 41 weeks writing newsletters to my clients, preparing an occasional tax return, helping folks with planning, and hanging out at the condo’s swimming pool. For several years at the beginning, I also drove an 18 wheeler full of mail from Toledo to Jersey City, though only a few days per week. Once my tax business hit critical mass, I gave up the trucking job, moving me closer to full retirement.
The year I turned 70, I sold the business. By then I had plenty of practice dealing with all my leisure time, so never had that empty feeling that many suffer. I volunteer as a tax preparer for AARP in February and March; it gets me out of Chrissy’s hair for a while.
Not everyone will be in a position to make a gradual move to full retirement. Still if it’s an option, consider cutting back on the hours. Find yourself a breakfast or lunch club with like minded people, try to figure out a few activities that may trip your trigger.
Mark, thanks for this article and your AI note.
Not retired yet, so I don’t have any advice. But I am nearing the end of a 4 month break between jobs, with some uncertainty along the way. So I got a taste of the “retreat from life” feeling. And I didn’t like it much. I’m certainly looking forward to getting back into the routine of work.
Then retirement sometime in the future (no doubt with the help of HD!)
Good luck with your retirement transition.
Moving to a CCRC – at least the right CCRC – will provide many, many options for filling your time and some will involve volunteering.
Mark, when I read your sentence about “money that helps you belong” the first thing I thought of was our Y membership. We don’t have a Medicare plan that offers a gym membership, so we have to pay for it. (Our Y does offer a senior rate) We have found that our local Y has become a place where we are members of a community, not just a place to work out. We plan to continue as long as we are able to be members. Chris
Your list of “purpose, community, shared time, contribution” is highly relevant as these are the things which are high on the agenda of any “holistic” retirement coach.
I’ve heard it described as the rules of a part of life that no-one ever told you about when selling sunlit images of happy couples. And the darkside is in the risks of not finding enough purpose or connection.
I think everyone needs to programme themselves. Some things will come naturally as continuations of things that were already part of your life. Others, perhaps where there is geographic relocation or new expectations to be navigated (e.g. free childcare cover) might take work. Plugging in is a good analogy but it also goes both ways. Sometimes things need to be unplugged to allow other things to be powered.
I think you’re talking about giving back to society? Or maybe I’m picking you up wrong. I can certainly relate to finding that big space after retiring. At the moment, I’m only six months into it and, honestly, I’m pretty much focusing on myself and my family; the bigger picture isn’t in my headspace right now. However, I can say I already give my time freely to coach and encourage seniors in racket sports development courses and volunteering at a local church youth club, plus help run the administrative side of a large sporting club with 100’s of members, although I was already doing all this before retirement. I guess it shows that belonging through contribution doesn’t always have to be a new, grand effort but a continuation of what you already do.
not sure what you mean by “plug in” are you talking about using money or time or both?
I meant both!