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The last few days have been hectic, attending a funeral for a friend as well as an information session by a local funeral home.
I learned a lot from the presentation on funeral services. Pre-planned funerals can ease the burden on survivors. They claim it is cost effective by locking in current prices. Services these days can be extensive and cover death even on a cruise ship or a foreign country. They also offer incentives (discounts, interest free payments) if you sign up now with a refundable deposit. Funeral home industry has consolidated with major players having multiple locations in many states. If you move to another state, they can still take care of your funeral services there.
I would assume many of you would have some experience arranging for funerals of relatives or friends.
What are the pros and cons of signing up early for such pre-planned funeral services? Is it worth it?
Sundar Mohan Rao
We thought we were doing the right thing by prepaying with Neptune in Georgia. We just asked for a refund and received just a bit over half as they overcharge for a box and cards. Literally $1k each. Big mistake on our part. We moved back to California to find out Neptune was sued by California state for overcharging and not refunding and if we had purchased here we’d be refunded all. They had years where they have made money by investing what we paid. Anyway, we want to be cremated and perhaps when I retire we will look into it again but very skittish now.
Kathy, Thanks for this heads up on what can go wrong. This can help many of us. As always, do your own due diligence.
I found this very comprehensive article on pros and cons of prepaid funeral services. This helped answer many of my questions:
https://choicemutual.com/blog/prepaid-funeral-plans/
One reminder for those being cremated, plan strategically for your ashes. Where do they go? If you think your children do not want your furniture, (you see heirloom, they see disco balls,) I have yet to meet children that want your ashes in their home. If you need some awkward Thanksgiving dinner conversation, ask which of your son’s-in-law would like your ashes in his man cave?
Seriously, find a columbarium or mausoleum in a location you prefer and buy the crypt up front. This will save your family from the drama and siblings fighting at a time when they need peace in their lives.
I understand the service an help in immersing ashes in a lake or river of your choice.The container is biodegradable, so you don’t need to even open it!
Here’s a thought. How about a pre-funeral? One of my fondest memories from my days as a congregational minister was working with someone with stage 4 cancer. As we talked about what he wanted said/done at his memorial I asked him if he wanted to do it before he died. His eyes got wide and asked, “Can we do it?” Of course. We celebrated his life while he was still alive. We did something small after he died as well but I’ll never forget him getting the chance to say a few words at the end of his memorial. He was a tough veteran and corporate executive but he had tears in his eyes as he shared his gratitude for his life, his friends and his family and his peace with his upcoming death. It’s easy to get your cremation/burial planned and paid for before you die. I’d recommend putting time into planning a memorial.
Very interesting idea. Makes a lot of sense.
Back in 2011, after losing my mother only one year after losing my step mother, I made arrangements for prepaid funerals for my wife and me. Initially the plans had premiums, as they were funded with life insurance, but I prepaid the remaining premiums shortly thereafter.
My wife and I are both in our 70s. Our two children live in different states, TX and MD. Neither of them are likely to live in NC, so we decided to be cremated, If I predecease hey bride of 50 years, she will spread my ashes in the Mountains of Western NC. If she predeceases me, I will spread her ashes at the beach in NC.
I am a veteran, and I will have military honors at my service. Our prepaid funerals were facilitated by my membership in the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) and will be carried out by Dignity Memorial, which is a nationwide group of cemeteries and funeral homes.
Having buried 2 moms and 2 dads, 2 brothers and 1 sister, I assure you that having your funeral arrangements preplanned and prepaid will be a gift to those you leave behind.
Pre-planning is essential and any relevant documents must be up to date. My neighbor passed away suddenly a few months ago. She had organ donor document filed in another state. That is not valid here. You can imagine the stress family had to go through to fulfill her wishes.
After what I experienced during Covid, I decided to research prepaid funeral and cremation services.
My mother died from Covid during the shutdown. Thank goodness she had pre-purchased a cremation policy from the Neptune Society . There were so many problems with the whole system due to the shutdown. Everything was delayed. But Neptune had to deal with them, not myself or my family. Because of her pre-planning we were able to obtain her ashes about two months after she passed and held a private funeral a year later.
Because of that experience after doing quite a bit of research, I also purchased a cremation policy for myself, and a burial plan for my husband. I liked that I could purchase insurance to pay to have our remains moved to where we were living at our deaths and/or where we wanted to be buried or cremated. We enjoy traveling and we did not want my family to have to make all the necessary arrangements, while they are grieving, if either of us passed away from home. I also did not want to have the situation where a relative has to pull out their credit card to pay for everything and then later, figure out who pays what.
During my research, my husband and I discovered we both had very different wishes for our burial and funeral arrangements. I want to be cremated. He does not. I want my ashes scattered in the ocean. He wants his body to be transported to another state to be buried next to his parents. Thus we purchased a preplanned burial and service package from the funeral home where his parents were buried. This took quite a bit of work! And it was not cheap. Therefore we are on a payment plan. Hopefully it will be paid off and none of our relatives will be asked to pay the remainder due upon our death . Plus, because of legislation, in most states, if you do not use the service you paid for, your heirs get a refund.
In my opinion, the more details you can give to your family regarding your burial wishes, the better. And if you pre-pay some of these services, that’s even better.
You have covered everything one can think of. Good road map!
Our local funeral service uses a national insurance provider for prepaid arrangements. They also advised that this protects the funds if Medicaid nursing services are needed.
I did have a relative who had prepaid her funeral but didn’t tell anyone so my parents paid for her funeral and only later found out she had prepaid. No refund. For myself, I’ve verbalized to my wife and kids and put in “my letter” that I just want to be cremated, so I haven’t bothered with prepaying since cremation isn’t particularly expensive nor troublesome to arrange.
Funerals are expensive, complicated and emotional. Planning ahead is a good practice. Make sure any prepayments are in the form of contributions to an insurance policy with a reputable carrier. I recently had a good experience with Homesteaders Life. I was referred to them by the funeral provider. In some states, this is required by law. There have been many instance of funeral service providers going bankrupt or disappearing with the pre-paid asset.
Involving an insurance carrier is a great idea. Will look into it.
Hi, this is Chris. We don’t have a lot of experience in this area. When my mom went into assisted living after her stroke, I asked my sisters who are handling her finances about pre-paying her funeral and the sister who does her taxes didn’t want to do, she said it would complicate her taxes. I have no idea why, but maybe Richard or someone else who does taxes might have an insight about it?
We also had a grandma who went into a Medicaid nursing home in the late ‘90s and she pre-paid her funeral as part of the spend down.
Not sure about taxes. Sales pitch is that you get to design and pay for your services and it takes a great burden off your children and relatives.