Family

A FEW MONTHS AGO, I received an early morning phone call from a nurse, notifying me that my mother had passed away. Even though she was age 96 and recovering from a mild heart attack, it was still a shock.
Up to the time of her death, she was mentally alert and determined to show everyone that she belonged at home, not at a strange nursing and rehabilitation facility. She gave it her best,

THERE’S AN ONLINE forum where writers of articles can request “expert” opinions for pieces they’re working on. Recently, a reporter was seeking recommendations for gadgets parents can buy to keep their children amused on family vacations.
Normally, I either send what I hope is a helpful reply or I move on. In this case, however, I responded—but my answer wasn’t positive.
I first railed against the idea that children needed anything beyond the trip itself,

MONEY WAS ALWAYS tight when I was growing up. When my brother was age 10 and I was 12, my parents boosted our modest allowance. The difference almost doubled what we were getting—but there was a catch.
Our parents felt we drank too many sodas. It was the late ’80s, so I doubt the extra sugar was their concern. Rather, it was the extra items on the grocery receipts. We were inflating the family grocery bill with our beverage consumption.

“WE NEED TO TALK.” How many relationships have ended with those four words? They’re a verbal cue to take the news calmly and move on with life. But I would guess just as many relationships have ended without any words or possibly with harsh words. That’s what happens when we don’t talk about our relationship—or about our financial situation and financial plans.
A few years ago, my wife used those four words after I announced I was reducing our life insurance.

A NEIGHBOR COMPLAINED to me that his car insurance rates soared after a fender bender. I assumed that he or his wife were involved. But it turned out he was referring to his daughter’s accident. Even though she was 27 years old and had a good paying job, he continued to assume financial responsibility for her car. Is this smart parenting—or does it stymie our children’s transformation into well-rounded adults?
When my friends and I graduated college,

MY FATHER-IN-LAW Jim was born in January 1927, the sixth of eight children, to an Irish-American couple in Philadelphia. During the Second World War, his three older brothers were in the armed services. That meant that Jim, barely age 16, had to quit high school and enter the work world, so he could earn an adult’s wage. His salary must have been critical to the family’s economic stability.
Jim’s brother Bill was killed in an accident at sea during ship maintenance in 1944,

MUCH CRITICISM IS leveled against millennials, often defined as those born between 1981 and 1996. The criticism is frequently directed at their money and career decisions, including their purportedly foolish spending, excessive borrowing, job-hopping, self-absorption and sense of entitlement.
The perception is so pervasive that even millennials buy into this view of themselves.
But I wouldn’t be too quick to criticize millennials or compare them unfavorably to older generations. Each generation confronts its own unique challenges and difficulties,

MY FATHER-IN-LAW—known to his family as Papa—passed away earlier this month. After 96 years, he had developed a number of money habits that were unconventional but quite effective, including these three:
1. Focused frugality. Papa was frugal, but not in the conventional sense. He didn’t practice extreme frugality and saw no virtue in intentional self-denial. Rather, he practiced what I would call focused frugality. If something was important—his children’s education, for example—he was happy to write that check.

MY MOTHER IS 95 years old and in fairly good shape for her age. Yes, she repeats herself quite often. When she does, I tend to let it go in one ear and out the other.
When she talks about my father, however, I listen very closely. One day, as I was backing the car out of the garage, she looked at all the cabinets my father built and said for the umpteenth time,

IT’S TIME AGAIN FOR our family’s semi-annual budget review. The budget meeting is typically initiated by the Household CFO, which would be me. Who is the HCFO in your home? You can probably figure it out from the following job description provided by Thomas Stanley and Sarah Fallaw in The Next Millionaire Next Door:
“The role of Household CFO is to ensure his/her household is building wealth in order to ultimately achieve financial independence….

I WENT FOR MY YEARLY physical. During the exam, my doctor asked me if I was in a relationship.
“Yes, I’m with someone.”
“Is there anything she would want me to know about you?” he asked.
“Uh, are you asking how things are in bed?”
“No, no, no,” he answered. “I meant, has she noticed any changes in your health that I should be aware of? For instance, any skin lesions, forgetfulness or problems with your hearing that she might have brought to your attention.”
I have often heard that people who are happily married live longer than those who are single or divorced.

WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS old, my dad got a job offer in California. It was the early 1960s, we were living in Ohio and the local economy wasn’t doing very well. At the time, California was so desperate for factory workers that employers would run help wanted ads in local newspapers across the country.
My dad, who was a machinist, answered one of the ads by simply placing a phone call to the employer.

I FIRST BEGAN tracking my net worth in 2013. Back then, I was newly divorced, in my mid-40s and struggling to figure out what my financial future would look like. I painstakingly logged into my various bank, retirement and investment accounts, and entered their values into an Excel spreadsheet.
As a result of my divorce, I’d lost 50% of my state pension. I did, however, receive half the equity from the sale of our home.

I WAS LISTENING recently to the Beatles’ song, “She’s Leaving Home,” and I wondered what I would tell a young person starting life on his or her own. If I had a few minutes before he or she walked out the door, here’s what I would try to say:
Relationships. Your personal relationships will matter most in your life. Choose your significant other and friends carefully. They will be your moral compass,

EVERY GENERATION faces its own unique financial challenges—and my generation has, so far, had a particularly rough time. Consider a 2018 report by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, which looked at the connection between birth year and financial well-being.
Some 48,000 families were divided into six groups based on their birth decade—from the 1930s to the 1980s. I was born in 1987 and hence belong to the 1980s cohort. The Great Recession affected all generations,