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I’VE BEEN WRITING FOR and reading HumbleDollar for more than six years.
I’m struck by the number of articles and comments that talk about things like divorce, job loss, health issues, adverse financial events and caring for elderly parents.
When articles discuss such experiences, the pieces are typically well read, with numerous comments, including many expressing empathy. The amount of personal information shared is amazing. No doubt readers can relate to many of these events. After all, for most people, such events represent key moments in their life’s journey.
But I find myself thinking: How did none of this happen to me?
I married my first girlfriend, and it’s now been more than 55 years. I never lost a job, except a position I held for one week when I was a teenager. There was never a year I didn’t receive a raise. I enjoyed my work for nearly 50 years. Both my parents died in their sleep, with no expensive, protracted end-of-life care. We found a way to ensure our four children graduated college with virtually no debt, and then helped them pay off what little they had borrowed.
A few health issues—while scary at the time—were resolved by good medical care and insurance that minimized our cost. The only exception has been Connie’s eye injury a few years ago. Her eyesight, unfortunately, will never be the same again.
We raised our family on one income, while Connie did the hard work of managing the family and volunteering in the community. We lived the first 30 years of our married life quite modestly. We worked together on the goals we set. Disagreements—especially about money matters—have been rare and quickly resolved.
I didn’t hit the income jackpot—meaning bonuses, stock options, stock awards—until I was age 60. Still, in retirement, we have financial security, thanks to a pension and Social Security.
I’d like to take credit for some of our good fortune, but I’m hard pressed to do so. The best I can come up with: We tried hard to avoid poor decisions.
According to the Mayo Clinic, expressing gratitude can deliver a slew of benefits, including improved sleep, mood and immunity. Gratitude can also reduce depression, anxiety, the risk of disease and difficulties with chronic pain.
Here Connie and I are, with a combined 164 years of life behind us. It’s almost like we lived in a 1950s sitcom. The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet is my favorite. I don’t know why we have what we have or why things happened as they did. But we are indeed grateful.
Being grateful is a good thing. It acknowledges that the benefits that we enjoy in life are often gained is spite of our own actions. However, no matter how well or how long we live, we have to remember that the fickle finger of fate is always with us. If we spend too much reflecting, our next step might be into a pothole.
It is this lack of certainty that keeps us vigilant. While we no longer have to worry about being the next meal for a saber-tooth tiger, at 80, a single misstep going down the stairs can change everything. And most will not go through life (and death) without having to meet at least some challenging circumstances. So I hope Richard, that you had your fingers crossed as you wrote this post.
Mr Quinn, somehow I stumbled across this old post. Thanks for another interesting article.
It got me thinking that perspective is all important.
We have had some challenges in our life – 10 rounds of IVF, followed by adoption of kids that had a rough start to life. One daughter, now young adult, with special needs. Another daughter, just starting at university, who gave us some real hurdles for a while. A mother-in-law in aged care for 13 years, which was the last phase of a long wrestle with Parkinsons and epilepsy.
But we feel extraordinarily lucky. We have formed a family and have 2 happy, healthy young adults that are making their way in the world. My mother-in-law had a very difficult time, but achieved so much despite her poor health.
My wife and I have both ridden a rollercoaster with our careers, but are very proud of what we have achieved.
I wholeheartedly agree that a sense of gratitude is key. We both feel very fortunate for all we have been gifted.
There is much we can’t control, but we can avoid making bad decisions that give us problems we don’t need. Since I wrote this Connie was diagnosed with cancer and had major surgery. But a year later all seems well.
Not a day passes that I don’t reflect on how fortunate we are especially compared with close friends and relatives who haven’t had an easy life.