I have been getting more and more frustrated with many friends and relatives, I have tried, in vain , to share what I have learned from HumbleDollar, Ben Graham, William Bernstein , et.al.. I have decided that henceforth, whenever someone asks me what they should do with some cash, perhaps from the sale of a house in an estate sale, a small inheritance, or what investments to choose in a retirement plan, I now say, " I am not qualified to advise you, even free of any fees ,as per usual,  because I have a sneaking feeling that when you hear or read any type negative news ,and markets crash,you will have a meltdown,and do the polar opposite of what logic and history suggests, and then you will be irritated and/or angry with me and I do not want that to occur, and then you will avoid me for decades and perhaps berate me in public or even ghost me, yell at my dog, and secretly hope that I may have to listen to country or rap music when I die and go to Hell with the fire and brimstone ,for longer than eternity and also infinity,  and I will be bedeviled by a guy with a pitchfork ( no pun intended) and horns and that will not be good.  ( As evidenced by you doing exactly that, in the past, and life is too short, etc.) Ha ha, of course, I do not say all of that . I simply make a confused type looking face, throw my hands skyward, and say, " It beats the Hell out of me!"* Naturally, this is only effective for persons that are in the same room with me. During phone conversations or texting  then I suggest reading a book or two, I am informed that they have no time. Or I speak in my robotic voice, thus, " I am sorry, the number you have reached is  not in service",etc. Here are a few of the things  I have been told by very smart people, guys whom have built their entire house, only subbing out the foundation , plumbing and septic work. One of them cut the trees down ,all by himself,  used his father's small sawmill to make the wood used to frame the house, and that house will be standing centuries from now. Another friend is so talented that he finds old Model T cars, abandoned in the woods, and rebuilds them , the finished product looks like it just rolled off the assembly line. A couple of them are computer whizzes, coding, building their own computers, etc. For example, wife and I tried , in vain, a bit ago, to transfer data and phone records,  and texts from a galaxy phone to an Iphone, with zero success. My co-worker got it done while  hungover, and talking on his his own phone, catching grief from the wife for drinking too much, and so forth. It took him 6 minutes. That time would have been much less if he didn't keep falling asleep. Alas, here a few of the comments and ideas I have heard from these very intelligent people.  The best method for becoming wealthy, is to buy a house and keep it for a long time. The store on the corner is the best place to buy lottery tickets, they have had 6 million dollar winners in the last year. The stock market is far too risky, even for long time frames, it could go to zero! It is always better, financially, to buy a car , brand new, and dump it as soon as it is off warranty, that way, you never get hit with expensive repairs. Mike, didn't you hear about that terrible mutual fund scandal , years ago? Those people will never get their money back! I don't contribute to the 401(K) with the company match because, the rich people control the markets, and they will steal all of the money. I panicked when the market dropped and I cashed out my 401, and paid 30 grand in taxes and early withdrawal penalties. I have no regrets, better safe than sorry. I know I am only 30 years old, but, I am no longer interested in even the target date fund from  that Vanguard the money was in. ( I asked him when if he was so worried, he didn't just exchange the money into the money market fund within the plan. " Too risky!") I work so hard as a food and beverage worker, and I only got a thousand dollar tax refund! So unfair! And the billionaires don't pay any taxes, they have all the loopholes!" The only reason Warren Buffett and his buddies donate so much to charity is so they can get a huge deduction on their taxes. Finally,lucky for you, I do advise never playing any lottery, as the average return is anywhere from negative 30 to negative 50 percent. The largest prizes are taxed so heavily, of course, indeed, when a billion dollar prize is awarded , if the lump sum is selected, well over half goes to the state and federal people. The annuity payments over 30 years, allows the states to earn interest on that pile of money, of course. Tails I win, heads, you lose.   I am often told, " If you don't play, you cannot win." * Decades ago, I worked at the Heald Machine Division of Cincinnati -Milacron in central Mass. , and when things went south, and I mean Antarctica south,  which happened with alarming frequency, The " Heald Wave"  was initiated, very similar to the signal for a touchdown in football, it is performed by  throwing both hands skyward ,arching your back,  and  swearing a lot. Then , followed by, " Oh well, that's the way it goes in the machine tool business!"

As autumn is upon us, and I observe my nice neighbors toil for hours on end, they are raking, blowing, vacuuming, etc., the millions of once beautiful leaves, alas, they are no longer attractive, just an enormous annoyance for the majority. I submit, as a former leaf raker, the following. When investing, simpler is generally the correct option for millions of people not named "Buffett", to wit, a 3 or even 2 fund portfolio would outperform a vast majority of more complicated accounts, a total world stock market fund, a short term treasury fund for liquidity, and so forth. I am convinced, and the data appears to confirm , that simpler when maintaining the grounds is also the rock solid  path to victory, the low cost "index funds" of the landscaping world, if you will. I offer the following, clearing the leaves should be no more labor intensive than simply mowing the lawn. All we need to do is run the leaves over with the mower, if a mulching blade is on the machine, one pass does it. A conventional blade may require a second pass, but, voila', the leaves are now shredded , and will soon compost into rich loam. Mowing the grass and bagging the clippings and dumping them is not the right way , either. Remove the bag, and let the clippings rot into loam. I think of the clippings as the dividends of the grass, let them compound , and over the years, they will add a lot of nutrients and growth. Having stock dividends and bond interest reinvested contributes a great deal to growth, of course, and is far better than spending the income on blue hair, tattoos and 20 dollar beer at a pro game. Not too long ago, it could be a bit of a headache to reinvest dividends, as tracking cost basis was not pleasant, perhaps similar to having a tooth pulled with no anesthesia while suffering a hangover, and listening to Yoko Ono " singing" ,etc.( Yoko, I am sure you are a great person and have many favorable qualities, but, singing is not one of them, IMO) Fairly recent changes in regulations now require that investment companies track cost basis for you. I am sure that many of you do not mow your lawns, rather you hire a landscaper, but, if you ask him or her to recycle the grass and leaves,I am sure it would save some money, and truly,it is much better for the yard. There are a few major errors when so many invest, market timing, buying high and selling low, letting the tax tail wag the dog, chasing performance, buying active funds, and the like. The major errors in lawn care are, cutting the grass much too short. Unless you are working for a country club, the Boston Red Sox or similar, set the mower on the highest level and the lawn will be much more resistant to dry periods, have less weeds and look fine. Always mowing in the same direction, watering at the wrong time, etc., are not good practices, either. If you insist on watering, do it just before the sun comes up, and not at high noon, when up to half can be subject to evaporation. It is frustrating to see my great neighbors scalp the grass, then set up the sprinklers to try and force the grass to grow. If all of the grass is cut to the same height, 4 inches looks fine, certainly better than 1 inch tall, turning brown and sprouting weeds. I am probably the  only person in the universe whom welcomes the leaves and I have often driven my lawn tractor with the cart, happily picking up the brown bags of leaves my neighbors put out on the curb. ( Next spring, they will eagerly buy yards of loam at 30 bucks a cubic yard, ....?) Also, a bit of either pelletized or ground limestone will hasten the rotting of the grass and leaves, and pushing a spreader is fine exercise, for larger areas, a spreader towed behind a Deere works, also. Why not let our dividends compound throughout the year, weekly,as well as the clippings, in the fall, reinvest the capital financial gains, and the capital gains of the leaves. Have you ever wondered why the woods are very difficult to walk , tangles of vines and trees, and so forth. It is because the leaves and dead trees are nurturing that soil, left undisturbed, trees grow so close together, and that soil is black gold, loaded with nutrients and earthworms. Now, maybe we can compare active traders to the carpenter ants and termites , we certainly do not want active traders churning our investments, especially in non tax advantaged accounts, but, they are needed to keep the markets efficient, and we are free to use index funds. As for the ants, no one wants them anywhere near the house, but they perform a valuable service, in the wild, as they do their business, helping return the brush to nature. I respectfully ask that those whom are overwhelmed by the leaves, try my approach, just mow them, rather than employing those backpack leaf blowers, even on a paved driveway, set the mower at one inch, and the leaves will be shredded. The next breeze will blow them away. If I am horribly wrong, please, and your lawn looks like a herd of elephants went on a rampage, let me know, and i will humbly never again write even a single word. But, why not try  to save time and money, get better results,  and institute the practices that are far superior in both investing and landscaping? In many cases, easier does not pan out to superior results. But, in many cases, it does.  

American credit card debt just broke the trillion dollar level.  Taking on  debt, “ bad” debt, credit cards , auto loans and similar, is a like attending a raucous party ,  taking in too much alcohol , etc. The aftermath , paying off high interest loans, is like the worst hangover, ever. It can take decades to recover from it. Often,  too much alcohol can kill you, quickly or long term, * alas , debt can kill you, quickly, ** or long term , *financially. Foreclosure, and often bankruptcy are far too common issues. * John Bonham , the drummer for Led Zeppelin, died after having 48 vodka drinks in 24 hours. ** A good friend ended up in the emergency room and nearly died after defaulting on a loan from a  , uh, * sub- prime” lender.

Jonathon, please, what type bond should I consider social security, short, long, etc. Or, is it more like an immediate fixed annuity and so forth. Thank You. Maybe somewhere in between,?

A 10 dollar investment in Berkshire-Hathaway in 1965 would now be worth about $ 500,000 large. Not bad. Or, to quote the late Bob Newhart, " Oh boy." ( no exclamation point) A very financially unsophisticated  woman in New York worked for the same company for 67 years, never earning very high salaries, and when she passed away a few years ago, she had a net worth of almost ten million dollars. Long Term Capital Management had tremendous computers, graphs and charts, very hard working and wise financial geniuses, etc., and they ended up collapsing. ( they had extremely high leverage ratios, and that was not very wise) One of the most intelligent men, ever, Isaac Newton, was not a very good investor.* He originally made money on The South Sea Trading Company, but as the mania grew , he wasn't happy with his gain, reinvested, and lost it all. After that, he forbade anyone to speak the words, " South Sea", in his presence.  (Newton , basically on a dare, created a new branch of math, after  a friend asked him why the planets behaved as they did, he created both differential and integral calculus to get the answers. It took him about 3 months) All of the gold ever mined on Earth, would fit on a baseball diamond, a cube , 90 feet to each side. It is truly amazing what some people try and do for money.  Buying lottery tickets, frenetically trading stocks at light speed and the like.  However, one individual stands above the rest,as far as not being prudent,  that would be the guy whom kept antagonizing Mike Tyson on an airplane, a bit ago. After several warnings by Mike to the not wise person, to knock it off, all were in vain, Mike resorted to physical means, and that did not end up well. There is zero amount of law suit money, in my opinion, to justify that incident. Buying penny stocks, using leverage are passive and wise when compared to some methods of making money. ( Me and some friends, a long time ago, watched Tyson pummel a heavy bag, two big guys were holding it, but often the force of the punches knocked all 3 backwards, a bit.) And since the Constitution prohibits cruel and also unusual punishment, I shall end my typing forthwith, and thank you. * Sadly, I will  not mention any names, but, having a much lower level of smarts than Newton,  does not automatically make one a good investor, either. That is a known known, and he is working on it. And that smell is not someone frying liver and onions, he is thinking!

Now, with the growing tension in the Mideast , the breakup of JLo and Ben Affleck, the new kickoff rules in the NFL and other horrific events, I feel I must continue my quest to try and scope out the economic future. If this is blocked for any reason, I understand, cruel and unusual punishment is banned by our Constitution. 1) I asked the circus people how things are going, it was a mixed bag. The acrobat was “ walking a tightrope”, financially. The magician saw his earnings go up in smoke, and the knife thrower was right on target. 2) At The NRA, all the new members were “ shooting the lights out”. 3)  At the diner, the wait staff had reached, “ The Tipping Point”, and were threatening to quit, but the owner says, “ things will pan out!” 4) Over  at Jenny Craig, the staff are overweight on health care stocks. 5) The markets are a bit too high, at least according to short sellers, Danny De Vito, Paul Simon and Robert Reich. 6) In Las Vegas, gamblers are unsure, also, so they are “ rolling the dice “, etc. 7) At the egg farm, the owner told me, “ cracks are appearing”. 8) The people at LASIK, are worried, as they were blindsided by the big interest rate drop. 9) And over at the TD Garden, the Celtics said a recession is a “ slam dunk”, and the Bruins think they are skating on thin ice. 10) The surveyors are plotting the path  and the axe men are “ clearing a path “ to the future.