Behave Yourself
Jeffrey K. Actor | Sep 19, 2023
SMART GUYS CAN DO some really dumb things. Those dumb things include behavior that seems logical, but is often a sign of addiction. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines addiction as “a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects.” Addictions come in many flavors. Some are benign, some more malignant. Many involve repeating a pattern or behavior in hopes of achieving a different outcome. And yet insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result—a comment, incidentally, that’s often wrongly attributed to Albert Einstein. Addictive actions are sometimes characterized as socially acceptable and sometimes not. An example of a socially approved addiction is excessive intake of coffee, while tobacco use would be placed in the malignant category because it can cause cancer. Let me share with you two of my addictions. The first borders on malignant, while the other represents a socially acceptable activity that might be benign, but can still be financially ruinous. I’ve had migraines since I was four years old. Starting in my teens, they occurred at least once a month. The treatment was Tylenol with a dash of codeine. When I began college, the dose was doubled, and a pinch of caffeine was added to the “therapy.” The migraines were manageable, or so I thought. Fast forward to 2008. I was now married with pre-teen twins and working my tail off as an assistant professor. The pressure to produce research was intense. I was also expected to teach, write grant proposals and supervise graduate students. At the same time, every day brought a new stock market low. I was smart enough to know that time was on my side in saving for retirement. I also knew…
Read more » Withdrawal Symptoms
Jeffrey K. Actor | Nov 30, 2023
I SHIFTED TO WORKING part-time more than a year ago. It was a way to ease into retirement and give me time to explore new activities. My reduced work hours were also a way to experience life without the singular job focus that had defined my working years and, indeed, my identity. My new part-time status was, of course, accompanied by a markedly shrunken paycheck. That allowed my wife and me to see what it was like to be without the guaranteed and steady income we’d relied upon for nearly three decades. After more than a year of working part-time, I fully retired two months ago. Without a paycheck, our bank account balance soon fell to a level where we needed to transfer funds from savings to pay the monthly bills. The amount I transferred was equal to just over half of my fulltime monthly paycheck. The mental anguish was palpable. I knew the day would come when we’d begin spending down our financial accounts. But I was mentally unprepared for the angst and anxiety that raged inside my head. This reaction was completely emotional—and totally unexpected. Before retiring, we’d done our math, considered dozens of scenarios, and had full confidence that our savings strategy over our careers was more than sufficient to provide for our retirement needs. We knew that our savings were, in the end, meant to be spent. Still, when the time came to withdraw funds from our investment portfolio, I was unable to sleep at night and had a devastating migraine lasting several days. It took two weeks for me to gather the courage to push the transfer button and reclaim some dollars from our savings. I was in a full “deer in the headlights” panic, caught up in an emotional state that couldn’t be overcome…
Read more » Duty Calls
Jeffrey K. Actor | Jul 4, 2024
SOME THINGS YOU HAVE to do yourself. A 2017 study concluded that spending money on time-saving services is correlated with greater life satisfaction. A subsequent article confirmed the finding. Rich or poor, we can boost our happiness by having others do undesirable tasks. These studies confirm what HumbleDollar readers already know: Wealth is a tool that, if used wisely, can increase our life’s satisfaction. Pay a yard service to mow the lawn. Spend money on housekeeping services. Hire someone to do the shopping, cooking or laundry. Now that I’m retired, I have plenty of time for activities I loathed to do while working. But thanks to a modicum of wealth, I have the choice to complete these tasks myself or pay others to do them. Sometimes, however, there are time-consuming obligations that can’t be delegated. Last month, I received that dreaded letter. No, not an IRS audit notice. Rather, a summons for jury duty. I contemplated if there was a way to escape this obligation. Unlikely. I have no prior criminal record and I’m not a student. I’m not yet 75 years old, nor do I take care of small children or elderly relatives. While I could possibly claim the immoral character exemption, it would be tough to provide proof. My assigned session was scheduled for 8 a.m. midweek in the heart of downtown. I’ve been retired for a year, and forgot how much construction workers enjoy slowing rush-hour traffic. Nevertheless, I managed to arrive a few minutes early. I entered the recommended city-owned garage. I’m partially colorblind, so all seven levels look identical to me. I took a picture to remember where my car was parked. There are a dozen similar photos on my phone, constantly resurfacing on my device as curated parking memories. Security procedures entering a Texas…
Read more » A Dirty Business
Jeffrey K. Actor | Apr 12, 2024
I'M SLOWLY LEARNING not to let frugality prevent me from doing the things I love. One of my favorite pastimes is cooking outdoors during the heat of the summer. Nothing pairs better with steelhead trout than a homegrown, freshly picked Hungarian hot wax pepper, softened by the grill’s intense heat. The aroma of the pepper’s lightly scorched skin, complete with grill marks, is enough to make any mouth water. Simply pick the largest, throw it directly on the burner and wait patiently for the magic to occur. To appreciate the experience, you must plan ahead—which includes growing the peppers. Spring weather arrived a few weeks early in my part of Texas. I pulled out my dog-eared Old Farmer’s Almanac to check planting times. I decided to go against optimal recommendations, overconfident that my planting skills would be sufficient to protect the seedlings against the slim possibility of a late winter freeze. While starter pepper plants are common once spring is officially underway, they’re notoriously hard to find on the cusp of the growing season. My search began at my usual garden centers, but I was met with disappointment. They wouldn’t be in stock for at least two weeks. Dang. Undeterred, I expanded my search, driving through Houston in a crisscross pattern, scouring the inventory at second-tier gardening establishments. These are places where past searches have paid off, but the plants weren’t nearly as successful at surviving in my compost-enriched soil. Unfortunately, it was also too early for these places to carry the seedlings. Resolute in my desire, I even tried the big box hardware stores. Alas, still no paydirt. My search was now becoming a full-blown obsessive quest. I committed to driving, pedal to the metal, 10 miles west to a small, hidden-away urban nursery, tucked neatly on the edge…
Read more » If Not Now, When?
Jeffrey K. Actor | Apr 5, 2024
WE WERE DINING WITH close friends when the conversation turned to foreign travel. Stories were recounted of ventures to exotic and faraway lands filled with inspiring people, unique cultures and historic sites. My wife and I were humbled by the sheer number of trips our friends had taken. We were shy to admit that our international travel bucket was relatively empty, and we had embarrassingly few stories to share. This wasn’t a matter of keeping up with the Joneses. We simply had neither the time nor the opportunity for international adventures while we raised our twins. At the time, that type of vacation wasn’t a priority for our family. On a whim, during our drive home, I promised my wife we’d take an international trip. We had a huge list of destinations we dreamed of visiting. Besides, we include a travel line in our annual retirement budget. If now isn’t the time to venture forth, then when? The following evening, while sharing a cheeseboard and Moscato on our patio, Lori reminded me of my promise. I knew where this conversation was heading. I told myself that now might be a good time to refill my glass of vino. Years of training caused my well-oiled frugal senses to once again begin to tingle. But a promise is a promise, or so my wife tells me. And now that we were both retired, there was no reason not to tackle one of our bucket list items. As if I needed more convincing, Lori suggested we do this to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my successful brain surgery. Alas, I couldn’t refute that logic. No additional arm twisting was required. My wife suggested Costa Rica as a destination. I’ve been a card-carrying molecular biologist for three decades, and have always…
Read more » Blowing the Dough
Jeffrey K. Actor | Jan 5, 2024
MY WIFE RECENTLY traveled to Connecticut for a week to help with loose ends following her brother-in-law’s unexpected heart surgery. I was left to fend for myself, with only three hard-boiled eggs, two ounces of nearly expired low-fat milk, half a jar of gourmet salsa and a moldy cucumber to keep me company. Boredom quickly set in. For some inexplicable reason, I had an uncontrollable urge to spend money. The first activity that entered my forebrain was visiting a casino. But I know from experience that, while enjoyable, this isn’t a particularly profitable choice of entertainment. Besides, the nearest casino is three hours away. The gas alone would cost more than I wished to spend. On top of that, now that I’m officially retired, the amount I had in mind to gamble was not a justifiable cost. Sure, I budget some “blow the dough” funds for fun. But giving money to a large for-profit gambling establishment isn’t how I want my dough blown. Instead, I willed my mind to envision what I could purchase—and permanently own—with the equivalent amount of dollars. Yes, I know, this simply transfers the guilt of spending from an experience to a hedonistic purchase. I had my eye on woodworking tools, and had recently discovered a new-to-me tool supply outlet just a couple of miles away. I felt like a kid in a candy store. I bought a few tools—not particularly expensive—but ones that still made me feel pampered by the purchase. My consumeristic urges were momentarily dampened. To make sure I squashed them completely, I stopped at the local dollar store on the way home and bought a fistful of frivolous items that were also in the tool-like category: some slightly dulled disposable knife blades, almost expired batteries and brightly colored duct tape. Oh yes,…
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