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I don’t use Instagram. I drive a 21 year old car. Many of my clothes are from the charity shop. I really do spend most of life completely oblivious as to how I compare to others.
But my guilty pleasures are the “See the average net worth for Australians….” articles. It’s reassuring to think that you’re going better than average. That the hard work and moderate spending have actually led you to a healthy financial position.
But recently I took it a step too far. A financial services firm in Australia asked its followers on various social media platforms to fill in a survey about income, net worth, retirement savings etc. Given my weakness for such comparisons, I was all in. After completing the survey, it showed where we ranked. Well below average, actually in the bottom third! My heart sank. I thought we were doing better than that.
Then the rational part of my brain kicked in. I was comparing our situation against a small sample size, not representative of the general population. More specifically, it is a subset that is most likely to be in a strong financial position, given that it is consuming social media content from a financial services company. I had to keep reminding myself that such comparison was not helpful, and in fact could be quite harmful.
Another reminder that comparison is the thief of joy. Best that I stay off Instagram.
I’m not at all envious of those who have more, and I do not gloat over those who have less. Having said that, why do those internet comparison hooks still pull me in?
Not too many decades ago, keeping up with the Jones meant comparing ourselves to close neighbors, friends, relatives. The internet has taken comparisons to a whole new level, with all aspects of our lives becoming a competition. I wonder what the mental health experts have to say about this.
Dan, agreed. Fortunately for me this was one instance that I could rationalise my way past pretty quickly.
But for many, seeing the best moments of other people’s lives carefully curated on social media is clearly a challenge.
Unfortunately, we seem to be living in a time of great envy.
I think that envy has probably always been a human “glitch”, but the internet allows us to compare ourselves against the whole world, not just our local neighbourhood.
Greg, was there some hook to lure those responding to the survey to use the firm’s services to move up in ranking? I’d stick with the advice in your closing sentence.
They got my email address, and no doubt I will get some marketing material. But I’ll unsubscribe or block when they do.
Yep, not much interest in Instagram for me.
Good luck with unsubscribe. I’ve haven’t seen any of them work. In fact, I think when you hit unsubscribe, it launches your email address to 20 of their vendors.
Mike, so far, so good. Maybe they realise that I’m just not worth marketing to!
Greg, I went to a gym once. I’m in decent shape for my age, though measuring myself against the sculpted devotees I encountered there was always going to be a fool’s errand. I only need to walk down my local high street to get a far more honest read on where I actually stand. We tend to choose our comparisons the way we choose our mirrors: angled to flatter, or to wound. The high street doesn’t lie.
There’s a lesson in that somewhere, I’m sure.
On a humorous note: I used the term Instagram in front of my twenty-something daughter, and she suggested I was showing my age… apparently it’s “insta” for the knowing crowd.
Mark and Greg – you’ve probably read my articles or comments my personal exercise routines. Typically I go to the gym after 3 or 4 days of biking. I work on machines to maintain core strength, and do stretches. I know that for an almost 73 year old guy I’m in decent shape. But going to lift or stretch at the local Y is a reminder that I’m not the only one. I see some people there in awesome condition. But it’s like Greg’s story above, I’m comparing myself to a unique subset of people. Taking Mark’s walk down the street tells me more about “average” people in my age group, and 99% of them are not going to the Y.
Thanks Mark. I go to Parkrun on Saturday mornings. I need to remind myself that it’s ok be running about the same times as the 50-something guys, not comparing myself to the 20-something guys.
And anyone getting of the couch and going to Parkun is already ahead of Average Joe.