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I’m back in the Philadelphia suburbs today, heading to a funeral later this morning. My best friend’s Mother passed away at 91. She’s the last of my friend’s parents to go. Of my in-laws, two mothers are still alive – one healthy and super-sharp, one quite infirm. We attended a neighbor’s funeral last Friday at the Jersey Shore. She made it 85, and lived an active life almost to the end. An acquaintance recently died suddenly at 80. He was a successful contractor, and worked right to the end.
I take this as a sign of getting older. It highlights that we have a finite, unknown, amount of time left. I’m trying to use these recent milestones, and the current uncertainty, to focus my thoughts on our retirement. We are blessed with a great family, and they are the most important part of our lives. We also have places we want to see, things we want to experience, and things to accomplish. Chaotic markets, and thoughts of time flying by, make me want to refocus on my health, and make sure our financial plan is solid with lots of margin of safety. Engineers hate uncertainty, but uncertain the world is. I’m grateful to the HD community for their wisdom, expertise, and caring. It definitely helps.
Rick, as someone 81 married to someone 85, you are not helping things. 😎
This is a great tribute and honor about someone who lived life to its fullest and had quite an impact on you and many others. There are probably HumbleDollar readers all around the world who now learned about this amazing person and wish they had met her at some point. Thanks for sharing.
Good post Rick. I will read the comments later. We are going through similar. Spouse’s brother with the ALS that I have written about here passed away yesterday evening. We were able to be with him. Life is a gift, and so is passing peacefully. Chris
Chris, I’m sorry for you and your spouse’s loss. Your writing showed the great love and care you and your wife gave your brother-in-law. Good for you.
About death and dying, I have witnessed many “natural deaths” that defied our medical model. As a physician, I must sign a death certificate with a cause of death (natural death is not legally acceptable). Yet, my father, mother, and father in-law all died without any known medical cause because they died at the time of their choosing, with normal function of vital organs (brain, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys).
My father celebrated his 90th birthday and declared that he lived long enough and would depart in 5 days. He changed his mind and passed away naturally 4 days later without showing any sign of illness. My mother survived a supposedly fatal lymphoma, and later a bout of sepsis, and died at 89 yo without convincing evidence of any disease.
Before my father in-law had Alzheimer’s dementia, he told me he wanted to die at home. At the age of 100 and after 9 years of dementia, the last 3 years without verbal communication ability and mental recognition of family members, he aspirated and was expected to die the same day. In short, he refused to die at the hospita