Pension Funds are Sus: A Strange Little Post From A Grandparent

I have a new job, a chauffeur no less. This involves conveying my grandson to school. I don’t know how much education he receives, but on the journey, I’m certainly getting an education on the colourful language of Generation Alpha, for those not in the know that’s kids up to age fifteen.

While I freely admit this post has very little traditional financial content, I would contend it holds a vital message. So, without further ado, I would like to present my newfound knowledge in the form of a short sentence you could pass on to your Generation Alpha grandchildren. If Gen Alpha follows this advice, it will certainly help their future selves.

High-fee pension funds are sus, no cap. They’re often mid, not bussin’, hindering your financial glow up. If IYKYK, you’d bet against them.

Shakespearean in nature, don’t you think? For your convenience, I’ve provided an English translation below.

English Translation:

High-fee pension funds are suspicious, no kidding. They are often mediocre, not excellent, hindering your financial improvement. If you are aware of the truth, you would agree to avoid them.

So, after much ‘labour’ in the linguistic trenches, I’ve not only cracked the code of a younger generation but also (hopefully) armed them with some truly useful financial intel. And truly, passing on this kind of knowledge makes me feel a lot less guilty about hoarding my own hard-earned cash. I think my grandson would award me 200 aura but still criticise my drip…. you can work that one out yourself, consider it homework.