Conflicting News

I am certainly nearer the end of my life than the beginning. and I thought it wise to ask around, talking with everyday people, trying to get a good, accurate analysis of the overall economic outlook. Some may find this silly, after all, why  not just heed the advice and wisdom of all of the experts, offering their views on market conditions, the direction of interest rates, both short and long term, etc.  But, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

My plumber said he was ” bursting at the seams with work”, alas, the electrician stated, “I’m shocked how much business is down.” My cousin, whom works for a railroad, told me, “We are on track for record profits!”

The optometrist was convinced that ” He sees a lot of great things, economically”, and my audiologist was” hearing a lot of great news.” My friend is in mining, sadly, his business is ” a little rocky”. A cousin works at a marina, thankfully,” He saw “smooth sailing” ahead.

A pilot buddy was thrilled his business was ” really taking off”, and the elevator people said business was ” very volatile”, soaring highs to plunging lows. My arborist was thrilled he was ” branching out, more and more.” The basement waterproofing company was doing well, even as its work was “drying up”.

My barber was concerned during Covid, it was a “close shave”, but he survived. The restaurant people had “a lot on their plate”, but the mortician said his business was “dead”.

The nutritionist weighed in with her opinion, and the fireworks seller’s business was booming. The treadmill people were just “running in place”, of course the meteorologist was concerned about turbulence, and the ornithologist was worried about his  nest egg. The lady whom makes honey is,” busy as a bee”.

The musician said he worked hard ” drumming up work”, the band CSNY said, There’s Something Happening Here, What it is Ain’t Exactly Clear’. Pink Floyd is in favor of cash , “Money, its a gas, grab that cash with both hands and make a stash”.

With the huge deficit our government is running, Jackson Browne feels we are ” Running On Empty”, but the movie people like fixed income, ” Bonds, James Bonds.”

Whew. The furniture maker was , ” Getting down to brass tacks,” alas, the HVAC guy was sad, ” His business was ” cooling down”.  The ATV maker was, ” stuck in the mud, and the florist said, ” everything is coming up roses”, and the auto mechanic was ” firing on all cylinders”, and finally, the diaper people said their business was finally “bottoming out”.

And now my rock solid, 100 percent accurate prediction, on the future of the financial markets, ” THEY  WILL FLUCTUATE TREMENDOUSLY”.

Thank you so much everybody for all of the kind words, much appreciated, truly. But, I forgot, I spoke with Richard Petty former race car driver, he said things were “ revving up”, and yes, it was a Buffalo Springfield song. The old memory is fading, fast!

I just stopped at a bar for one quick one, the bartender said business was “ pour”, but Orville Redenbacher , his business was starting to pop.
At the local hemp store, sales were smoking, and an astronomer said interest in space is” out of this world”!
The cab driver was doing “ Farely well”, and at the sky diving place, everybody was hoping for a “ soft landing “.
Meanwhile on Broadway, leading experts are predicting that investments will bounce around, “ Like A Cat On A hot Tin Roof”, and its “ A stock pickers market”, so, pick up those Christmas stockings, early.
And , with cash in money markets at around 6, trillion, active fund managers are eagerly waiting for that cash to be invested in stocks and bonds, shhh, do not share with them that when somebody buys, someone else is selling!

The newer cars are much more reliable than previously, my buddy drives a tow truck, business is “ dragging, at the rodeo, they arE” bucking the trend “, and farmers are “ sowing the seeds” and “ harvesting gains”.
Bon Dylan wrote, “ Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Blues”, it’s all about an investment he made, concerning Bigfoot, bad food and mushrooms or something.