Richard Quinn

IF EVERYONE WOULD just follow my advice when managing their money, all our financial problems would evaporate.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding.

From recently viewing a YouTube video, I learned it’s necessary to track all spending, have a budget and be mindful of spending habits. Nope and nope—but yes to watching our spending habits.

Managing money boils down to discipline and responsibility. You may not be able to keep up with the Joneses, take that vacation you desire or get that next tattoo.

RETIREMENT PLANNING videos and books can be frustrating because of the conflicting advice from so-called experts. Often, these experts are outside the mainstream. They retired in their 30s, or saved 50% of their income, or claim to be living so frugally in retirement that they need to replace just half of their old salary.

I prefer to think more about average Americans facing the reality and challenges of planning for retirement in the real world.

ON DEC. 14, MY WIFE and I celebrated 54 years of marriage—not bad for a curmudgeon and the person who’s had to live with him.
Considering that the average marriage in the U.S. lasts seven to eight years and the divorce rate is near 50%, we’ve done pretty well. On top of that, we got married just 10 months after our first date—and I was in the Army for eight of them. I remember receiving a letter from my dad while I was in the Army in which he basically asked,

I REACHED AGE 79 in November. No matter how you slice it, I’m now a senior citizen or, as I prefer to call myself, a seasoned citizen. That became obvious during a recent trip to the supermarket. As I leaned over to check the price of a case of water, a fellow in his 40s asked if he could lift it into my cart.

It was a nice gesture with good intentions, but I silently resented it.

MY LEAST FAVORITE time of the year is fast approaching—the holidays. The curmudgeonly part of me will be on full display.

Don’t get me wrong, there are many aspects that I like. I enjoy the spirit of Christmas, the music, getting together with friends and family, and eating. But let’s face it, there’s a lot of stress, aggravation—and money to be spent.

My DVR stores A Christmas Story, which is my favorite holiday movie and which I watch every December.

ALL THIS MARKET turmoil has me thinking about my portfolio—and the things I’m a little hazy about.

One of my stock mutual funds just paid me a capital gains distribution of more than $5,000. I sure wasn’t expecting that. In fact, I wasn’t expecting any capital gains this year. It seems the net gain on the sale of individual stocks within a mutual fund are distributed to shareholders, no matter how the overall fund has performed.

I’M BASICALLY A BORING kind of guy. I’ve been known to fall asleep during a raging house party. But when it comes to travel, you’ll find me wide awake. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

Given the hassle of international travel right now, Connie and I decided to see more of the U.S., rambling from state to state, planning no more than a day or so in advance.

We’ve just finished our third cross-country road trip since 2014.

I’M GOING TO SHOW you how to lose money. All you need to do is avoid some simple math, while embracing the widespread but illogical fear of health care costs.

Years ago, I designed employer health plans that gave employees several choices. Each option covered the same health care services. The differences among the options were the deductible, out-of-pocket maximum and premiums. The lower the deductible, the higher the premium you paid. Over time,

IN A FEW MINUTES, I’ll be off to play a round of golf with friends I met after we moved to our condo in 2018.

Golf is a crazy game, insane actually. It’s immensely frustrating and yet has a way of providing devious incentives to keep you playing—like hitting that last good shot of the day after 75 lousy ones. Not unlike stock-picking.

This week, I shot a 39 on the first nine holes.

WHAT’S THE REALITY of most Americans’ financial life? It seems that many are having difficulty making ends meet. For instance, 42% of Americans say they’re struggling financially, the highest rate since Monmouth University began conducting its survey five years ago.

If this is true, many Americans are certainly in big trouble. But I think that’s a big “if.” Why do I doubt such findings?

For starters, the result is based on a survey, and people may not be honest in their answers.

I’VE NEVER BUDGETED, meaning I’ve never planned every expense in detail. But I know many people do, especially as they look ahead to retirement.

This doesn’t mean I don’t know what I spend. My utility bill is $127 a month, my homeowners’ association fee is $870, my property taxes are $3,117 a quarter and my BritBox subscription is $5.99 a month. Or is it $6.99?

By the end of each month, our two credit cards are paid in full.

I AM NOW AGE 78—the same age at which my father died 34 years ago. I’m starting to think about dying, though I have no immediate plans to do so.

Of course, my father effectively smoked himself to death, unleashing a combination of heart disease and emphysema. I’ve been a no-smoking zone my entire life. No, I’m not depressed and I’m not being maudlin. But if Queen Elizabeth can’t go on forever, what hope is there for us commoners?

ONCE YOU GET BEYOND index funds, I’m out of my league, so I ask this as a naive investor. Can someone please explain the stock market to me? Okay, I guess that’s a trick question—because I don’t think anyone can explain the financial markets to anyone.

I’ve heard that markets are forward-looking. If that’s true, how come stocks react wildly to information that has been publicly anticipated for days, even weeks? Why the big surprise?

ONE OF THE GREAT blessings in life is grandchildren. In fact, as I think back on our childrearing years, skipping the children and going right to the grandchildren would have been great. Just kidding, Rick, Chris, Caryn and Craig.

Here I sit as a retiree on a Saturday morning, what to do, what to do? Are you kidding me?

When you have 13 grandchildren all living within an hour or so from your home,

CAROL IS MY COUSIN. Long divorced, she raised three daughters on her own. Now newly retired, her life is one long adventure—tackled with an incredible attitude. Some people approach retirement with trepidation, but not Carol. She was out of the gate with gusto.

Carol retired from Medtronic in November 2021, after 22 years. She’s a registered nurse who assisted doctors with the insertion of medical devices. She has a pension—Carol became eligible just before the company stopped offering them.