I appreciate this article so very much. My brothers and I took turns taking care of our mother for 25 years after a brain-damaging aneurysm—long before the advent of CCRCs (which would have been a godsend). And I watched my son take care of my ex over 3 long, horrific years. I could never burden him with another years-long parental death. My husband is 76 and I am 71. We have already explicitly shared that neither of us wants the other to stop being a spouse to become a nurse. A few weeks is one thing—to do so as the street of bodily health becomes a slick, 1-way downhill avenue is another thing altogether. So, I’m looking at CCRCs and need to find a good step-by-step guide to researching them (we travel full-time now but will eventually return to the Tacoma area).
The Williamsburg Foundation—good for you. I had the good fortune to play Tory-daughter Eileen in their summer outdoor drama (The Common Glory) the last year before it closed (1976). One of the perks was free tickets to Williamsburg—every day I visited one of the workshops. The bookbinders, the wheelwrights, etc. I loved it. I’m glad to hear Williamsburg is still thriving, even though The Common Glory went belly up!
I worked for non-profits for 43 years (in the arts and humanities). AND, I’ve been a tither (10%+ of my income annually) to various non-profits for over 30 years now. I give to about 10-15 non-profits annually, including the occasional emergencies (fires,floods, etc). Your ruminations are healthy ones—how to assess not just the efficacy of your dollars but how best to have your values expressed through your gifts. How best to give financial voice to your heart. Key is to understand the mission and goals of the organization. And, then, look to see how they report their own progress towards those ends. I always look at their 990s on guidestar.org (AKA Candid now, I think). Does their budget align with their mission? And, please, don’t allow high staff costs to put you off—it sometimes takes PEOPLE to help people—non-profit workers should not have to take vows to poverty or forego health insurance or retirement benefits. It is still work. And CEO salaries are market-driven—many of the larger non-profits require a comprehensive skill-set. What is, in your words, substantial? If I give to a program that provides fee-free experiences in the arts, those smiles and exposure are substantial enough for me. I give to food banks as well—one person not going hungry is fine by me. And, there are the long term gifts to organizations who are aspirational in their missions. Have they made progress towards eradicating teen pregnancy or yellow fever? My husband and I have both had cancer so we give to research for those cancers. Even if they haven’t “succeeded,” do you get the sense their goals and tactics are on track to do so? If you’re contemplating a major gift or legacy gift, MEET the advancement officer and/or CEO to get a sense of their passion for the mission. I’ve always taken the view that non-profits were created to mitigate the excesses of capitalism, providing services that government can’t or won’t do. I try to make my money “count” to help create a world I want to live in. For me, that’s a world where people are free to express themselves creatively, cancer is eradicated and people, regardless of their circumstance are treated with dignity and respect.
As someone whose job included raising funds from the private sector for 22 of my 43 year career in non-profits and public agencies, I applaud a thoughtful approach to donations. When I got to be the one “in charge,” I didn’t spend a lot of money on fancy annual reports or other trappings. (Oddly, I DID have to spend more money on my clothes—so often, those with means are more comfortable with others who look like them—a kind of sartorial tribalism). In terms of my personal giving, I have and will always be a tither. Even now, as a retiree, I keep up my donations to causes near and dear to my heart. I categorize them like this:
**Courtesy gifts—ranging from $25 - $100 these are donations to any run/walk a friend participates in for a disease that has affected their family. This also includes a myriad of FB fundraisers for friends’ birthdays, etc.
**my “major” gifts—$1k-$2500. These go to organizations I know personally (having worked for them) or vetted via Guidestar. They include national organizations with demonstrable track records in advancing the arts, humanities, women’s health and civil rights and, local organizations that support food insecurity and people who are unhoused. I am also starting larger gifts to organizations I hope to eventually work with as a volunteer board member. For youth groups and schools I used to be an invited speaker about philanthropy. I starting with spelling, defining and saying the word “eleemosynary”. Which kids got a kick out of! I asked the students to draw a picture of their heart and fill it with the things they cared about. Then I would explain that there were ways to help other children, dogs, people who were hungry, whatever was in their heart. And I gave them an instruction sheet to take home to their parents so they could be a part of their family’s eleemosynary activities!
As full-time travelers, we couldn’t agree more. I lost ownership of a house due to bad timing and geography (Florida, divorce appraisal in 2006, refinance to keep my kid in same schools, housing crash, short-sale in 2012) and see it as the gift that keeps on giving. Our accommodations budget is $2,000 a month (34% of our Social Security income; 20% of our overall income, including investment draws) spent on a mixture of temporary rentals, hotels and 1/3 of cruise ship fares. Every time I get a wild-hair about buying (apartments in Lima are cheap!), I do the arithmetical and logistical and hassle math. It always comes up short. It is so liberating to own no real estate. Where to age-in-place as I outlive my skeleton will be the challenge.
Re: happiness? A key turning point for me was fully embracing the notion that while I might envy the nest eggs of others, it doesn’t really matter because I have enough. I am h-h-h-happy (it still doesn’t trip off the tongue). My face is my face, my body is my body, my bank account is my bank account. And it is enough. (Having said that, I AM willing to change knees).
Sorry, but solicitations from charitable organizations don’t belong in this list. They aren’t trying to fleece or fool you. Research shows donors who share a passion for your mission will give more if asked. Since non-profit leaders are devoted to their missions, of COURSE they will ask you to consider a larger gift with each solicitation. Their intentions are honorable.
We, too, spend about $45K annually on travel. We can only do so because we do not own a home. Our SS covers 65% of our annual expenses. When we stop traveling full-time, our SS plus my RMD will more than cover our expenses (I’m 71 and my husband is 76 but he had no 401K/IRA). We are more afraid of falls than we are of COVID! My husband fell a few years ago and ended up with a subdural hematoma and brain surgery. So we have rules which we follow religiously:
1) No roofs, no ladders.
2)three points of contact (e.g. if there is a bannister or railing, USE IT)
3)if you’re dizzy, lie down in the room you’re in—don’t try to walk upstairs to the bedroom (yeah, that was the subdural hematoma fall)
4)One thing at a time, e.g. no looking at architecture or cell phones while walking
5)Merrells! Sandals and hiking shoes—they are great for cobblestones of all sizes
We keep a running conversation between us while walking: “Curb” “uneven pavement” “hole,” etc. We hold hands as our third point of contact a LOT. All the luck to you. Live your life. Live Your life!
I am a gambler and I always have a few thousand in winnings/stake at hand. I use it primarily for gambling but if I’m running short of $ in my checking account and don’t want to take anything from investments, I’ll pay cash for groceries, gas, etc until my next SS check comes along. I like having a little cash around the house.
Comments
I appreciate this article so very much. My brothers and I took turns taking care of our mother for 25 years after a brain-damaging aneurysm—long before the advent of CCRCs (which would have been a godsend). And I watched my son take care of my ex over 3 long, horrific years. I could never burden him with another years-long parental death. My husband is 76 and I am 71. We have already explicitly shared that neither of us wants the other to stop being a spouse to become a nurse. A few weeks is one thing—to do so as the street of bodily health becomes a slick, 1-way downhill avenue is another thing altogether. So, I’m looking at CCRCs and need to find a good step-by-step guide to researching them (we travel full-time now but will eventually return to the Tacoma area).
Post: As Evening Approaches
Link to comment from February 15, 2025
They’re one of our regular charities as well.
Post: Does Charitable Giving Make Things Better?
Link to comment from February 1, 2025
The Williamsburg Foundation—good for you. I had the good fortune to play Tory-daughter Eileen in their summer outdoor drama (The Common Glory) the last year before it closed (1976). One of the perks was free tickets to Williamsburg—every day I visited one of the workshops. The bookbinders, the wheelwrights, etc. I loved it. I’m glad to hear Williamsburg is still thriving, even though The Common Glory went belly up!
Post: Does Charitable Giving Make Things Better?
Link to comment from February 1, 2025
I worked for non-profits for 43 years (in the arts and humanities). AND, I’ve been a tither (10%+ of my income annually) to various non-profits for over 30 years now. I give to about 10-15 non-profits annually, including the occasional emergencies (fires,floods, etc). Your ruminations are healthy ones—how to assess not just the efficacy of your dollars but how best to have your values expressed through your gifts. How best to give financial voice to your heart. Key is to understand the mission and goals of the organization. And, then, look to see how they report their own progress towards those ends. I always look at their 990s on guidestar.org (AKA Candid now, I think). Does their budget align with their mission? And, please, don’t allow high staff costs to put you off—it sometimes takes PEOPLE to help people—non-profit workers should not have to take vows to poverty or forego health insurance or retirement benefits. It is still work. And CEO salaries are market-driven—many of the larger non-profits require a comprehensive skill-set. What is, in your words, substantial? If I give to a program that provides fee-free experiences in the arts, those smiles and exposure are substantial enough for me. I give to food banks as well—one person not going hungry is fine by me. And, there are the long term gifts to organizations who are aspirational in their missions. Have they made progress towards eradicating teen pregnancy or yellow fever? My husband and I have both had cancer so we give to research for those cancers. Even if they haven’t “succeeded,” do you get the sense their goals and tactics are on track to do so? If you’re contemplating a major gift or legacy gift, MEET the advancement officer and/or CEO to get a sense of their passion for the mission. I’ve always taken the view that non-profits were created to mitigate the excesses of capitalism, providing services that government can’t or won’t do. I try to make my money “count” to help create a world I want to live in. For me, that’s a world where people are free to express themselves creatively, cancer is eradicated and people, regardless of their circumstance are treated with dignity and respect.
Post: Does Charitable Giving Make Things Better?
Link to comment from February 1, 2025
As someone whose job included raising funds from the private sector for 22 of my 43 year career in non-profits and public agencies, I applaud a thoughtful approach to donations. When I got to be the one “in charge,” I didn’t spend a lot of money on fancy annual reports or other trappings. (Oddly, I DID have to spend more money on my clothes—so often, those with means are more comfortable with others who look like them—a kind of sartorial tribalism). In terms of my personal giving, I have and will always be a tither. Even now, as a retiree, I keep up my donations to causes near and dear to my heart. I categorize them like this: **Courtesy gifts—ranging from $25 - $100 these are donations to any run/walk a friend participates in for a disease that has affected their family. This also includes a myriad of FB fundraisers for friends’ birthdays, etc. **my “major” gifts—$1k-$2500. These go to organizations I know personally (having worked for them) or vetted via Guidestar. They include national organizations with demonstrable track records in advancing the arts, humanities, women’s health and civil rights and, local organizations that support food insecurity and people who are unhoused. I am also starting larger gifts to organizations I hope to eventually work with as a volunteer board member. For youth groups and schools I used to be an invited speaker about philanthropy. I starting with spelling, defining and saying the word “eleemosynary”. Which kids got a kick out of! I asked the students to draw a picture of their heart and fill it with the things they cared about. Then I would explain that there were ways to help other children, dogs, people who were hungry, whatever was in their heart. And I gave them an instruction sheet to take home to their parents so they could be a part of their family’s eleemosynary activities!
Post: Give It Away Already
Link to comment from January 25, 2025
As full-time travelers, we couldn’t agree more. I lost ownership of a house due to bad timing and geography (Florida, divorce appraisal in 2006, refinance to keep my kid in same schools, housing crash, short-sale in 2012) and see it as the gift that keeps on giving. Our accommodations budget is $2,000 a month (34% of our Social Security income; 20% of our overall income, including investment draws) spent on a mixture of temporary rentals, hotels and 1/3 of cruise ship fares. Every time I get a wild-hair about buying (apartments in Lima are cheap!), I do the arithmetical and logistical and hassle math. It always comes up short. It is so liberating to own no real estate. Where to age-in-place as I outlive my skeleton will be the challenge.
Post: Home Free
Link to comment from January 18, 2025
Re: happiness? A key turning point for me was fully embracing the notion that while I might envy the nest eggs of others, it doesn’t really matter because I have enough. I am h-h-h-happy (it still doesn’t trip off the tongue). My face is my face, my body is my body, my bank account is my bank account. And it is enough. (Having said that, I AM willing to change knees).
Post: Money Grows Up
Link to comment from January 18, 2025
Sorry, but solicitations from charitable organizations don’t belong in this list. They aren’t trying to fleece or fool you. Research shows donors who share a passion for your mission will give more if asked. Since non-profit leaders are devoted to their missions, of COURSE they will ask you to consider a larger gift with each solicitation. Their intentions are honorable.
Post: Anchors Away by Ken Cutler
Link to comment from September 28, 2024
We, too, spend about $45K annually on travel. We can only do so because we do not own a home. Our SS covers 65% of our annual expenses. When we stop traveling full-time, our SS plus my RMD will more than cover our expenses (I’m 71 and my husband is 76 but he had no 401K/IRA). We are more afraid of falls than we are of COVID! My husband fell a few years ago and ended up with a subdural hematoma and brain surgery. So we have rules which we follow religiously: 1) No roofs, no ladders. 2)three points of contact (e.g. if there is a bannister or railing, USE IT) 3)if you’re dizzy, lie down in the room you’re in—don’t try to walk upstairs to the bedroom (yeah, that was the subdural hematoma fall) 4)One thing at a time, e.g. no looking at architecture or cell phones while walking 5)Merrells! Sandals and hiking shoes—they are great for cobblestones of all sizes We keep a running conversation between us while walking: “Curb” “uneven pavement” “hole,” etc. We hold hands as our third point of contact a LOT. All the luck to you. Live your life. Live Your life!
Post: Exercising Caution
Link to comment from September 7, 2024
I am a gambler and I always have a few thousand in winnings/stake at hand. I use it primarily for gambling but if I’m running short of $ in my checking account and don’t want to take anything from investments, I’ll pay cash for groceries, gas, etc until my next SS check comes along. I like having a little cash around the house.
Post: Cash On Hand
Link to comment from August 24, 2024