As a full-time traveler, this is a frequent topic of discussion among my fellow nomads who have no fixed address. Of course we carry travel and medical insurance and repatriation coverage for our living and deceased bodies. And at the ages of 72 and 77, we find ourselves slowing down and discussing an apartmental (part mental, haha) home base within the next 2 years. It will not be near either of our two children. We have no grandchildren. And we’ll never own a home again. In a sense, our whole lives are now outsourced. My son took care of my ex as he died from alcoholism and congestive heart failure from 2020-2023. I could never burden him with my care. He knows he is “safe,” due to this promise and the fact that he lives in Florida where the humidity alone would kill me. My 2nd husband’s daughter is a doctor but has her own grandmother and mother to look after. And neither of us would be comfortable with her care as she has fish of her own to fry. If we leave them any money when we pass into the void, it will be unintentional. And they will be grateful but surprised. My brothers and I had to take care of our mother for 25 years when she had a brain-damaging aneurysm at the age of 51 back in 1979. We know the drill. We know the financial and emotional consequences all too well. Neither of our careers generated enough income (nor do we have enough investments/savings) to cover a downpayment or monthly expenses of a CCRC. Our net worth is currently $700K—identical to what it was when I quit working in 2020. We are currently withdrawing $40K annually to supplement our SS income of $70K to fully enjoy the kind of experiences nearly good knees and hearts can do, while we can. We are at the end of our go-go road years yielding to slo-go at the next curve. We will look for a ground floor apartment with a walk-in shower and gym near our health care facilities (Kaiser in Washington State), live on our social security, get a more expensive Medicare Advantage plan, and protect what savings we have to cover whatever health needs are not covered by Medicare. We expect that to be about $600K. We have agreed that we will do whatever needs to be done to keep the other from devoting what’s left of their life to full-time personal care on a long-term basis. We’ve seen too many widowed friends nearly kill themselves doing so. We admire a couple who spent week-ends together but not week-days as he checked himself into an assisted living facility during the week, allowing her to maintain her friendships and travel. And neither of us would have a problem with returning to part-time work (at least in theory, haha!). We’ve discussed terminal illnesses at length, having both had cancer. My husband is still living, after 13 years, with Stage 4 prostate cancer which is managed by regular injections of hormone blockers. I’ve been free of Stage 2 breast cancer for 7 years now. I have no problem opting for assisted suicide when my care/pain/ability to enjoy life is at its end. My husband, a lapsed but believing Catholic, expects he’ll move closer to family on the East Coast if he is the survivor. Of course, life may have wildly different plans than our paltry human ones. And denial and magical thinking have their role to play. I think I might hear some of you more well-heeled and frugal souls screaming at us as I write this. In the meantime, we’re of the Live Your Life, Live Your Life bent. Thanks for the thought-provoking and clarifying post.
I have gotten into the habit of purchasing T bills via Schwab on a laddered basis for my cash reserves if need be, I can sell them before maturity. And the yields range from 3 1/2 to 4 1/2%.
Laughing. We claim we are die with zero people and informed our children of such. But barring a catastrophic health event or financial meltdown, we can’t seem to spend fast enough. Best guess is our kids end up with 200K or so.
I was persuaded to rollover my 401k into a dividend fund. It is primarily blue chips and has performed well. Could I have made more? Maybe. With the same peace of mind and steady growth? Unlikely. Converting any to Roth doesn’t make financial sense. The IRA is half of my investments. And the dividends should never tip me beyond the 12% bracket. I start RMDs next year and the dividends now nearly equal my RMDs which gives me peace of mind as well. If the fund grows at 2% it will easily outlast me even if I slightly increase my withdrawals. I am shooting to die with zero. To each his own.
We older women get it. I'm amazed that aging has come with an invisibility cloak. Bartenders and waiters don't see me. Hours can pass in public places without any acknowledgment of my membership in the human race. My opinions are rarely sought. Now that I'm familiar with the phenomenon, I find a strange comfort in it.
I appreciate this article so very much. My brothers and I took turns taking care of our mother for 25 years after a brain-damaging aneurysm—long before the advent of CCRCs (which would have been a godsend). And I watched my son take care of my ex over 3 long, horrific years. I could never burden him with another years-long parental death. My husband is 76 and I am 71. We have already explicitly shared that neither of us wants the other to stop being a spouse to become a nurse. A few weeks is one thing—to do so as the street of bodily health becomes a slick, 1-way downhill avenue is another thing altogether. So, I’m looking at CCRCs and need to find a good step-by-step guide to researching them (we travel full-time now but will eventually return to the Tacoma area).
The Williamsburg Foundation—good for you. I had the good fortune to play Tory-daughter Eileen in their summer outdoor drama (The Common Glory) the last year before it closed (1976). One of the perks was free tickets to Williamsburg—every day I visited one of the workshops. The bookbinders, the wheelwrights, etc. I loved it. I’m glad to hear Williamsburg is still thriving, even though The Common Glory went belly up!
I worked for non-profits for 43 years (in the arts and humanities). AND, I’ve been a tither (10%+ of my income annually) to various non-profits for over 30 years now. I give to about 10-15 non-profits annually, including the occasional emergencies (fires,floods, etc). Your ruminations are healthy ones—how to assess not just the efficacy of your dollars but how best to have your values expressed through your gifts. How best to give financial voice to your heart. Key is to understand the mission and goals of the organization. And, then, look to see how they report their own progress towards those ends. I always look at their 990s on guidestar.org (AKA Candid now, I think). Does their budget align with their mission? And, please, don’t allow high staff costs to put you off—it sometimes takes PEOPLE to help people—non-profit workers should not have to take vows to poverty or forego health insurance or retirement benefits. It is still work. And CEO salaries are market-driven—many of the larger non-profits require a comprehensive skill-set. What is, in your words, substantial? If I give to a program that provides fee-free experiences in the arts, those smiles and exposure are substantial enough for me. I give to food banks as well—one person not going hungry is fine by me. And, there are the long term gifts to organizations who are aspirational in their missions. Have they made progress towards eradicating teen pregnancy or yellow fever? My husband and I have both had cancer so we give to research for those cancers. Even if they haven’t “succeeded,” do you get the sense their goals and tactics are on track to do so? If you’re contemplating a major gift or legacy gift, MEET the advancement officer and/or CEO to get a sense of their passion for the mission. I’ve always taken the view that non-profits were created to mitigate the excesses of capitalism, providing services that government can’t or won’t do. I try to make my money “count” to help create a world I want to live in. For me, that’s a world where people are free to express themselves creatively, cancer is eradicated and people, regardless of their circumstance are treated with dignity and respect.
Comments
As a full-time traveler, this is a frequent topic of discussion among my fellow nomads who have no fixed address. Of course we carry travel and medical insurance and repatriation coverage for our living and deceased bodies. And at the ages of 72 and 77, we find ourselves slowing down and discussing an apartmental (part mental, haha) home base within the next 2 years. It will not be near either of our two children. We have no grandchildren. And we’ll never own a home again. In a sense, our whole lives are now outsourced. My son took care of my ex as he died from alcoholism and congestive heart failure from 2020-2023. I could never burden him with my care. He knows he is “safe,” due to this promise and the fact that he lives in Florida where the humidity alone would kill me. My 2nd husband’s daughter is a doctor but has her own grandmother and mother to look after. And neither of us would be comfortable with her care as she has fish of her own to fry. If we leave them any money when we pass into the void, it will be unintentional. And they will be grateful but surprised. My brothers and I had to take care of our mother for 25 years when she had a brain-damaging aneurysm at the age of 51 back in 1979. We know the drill. We know the financial and emotional consequences all too well. Neither of our careers generated enough income (nor do we have enough investments/savings) to cover a downpayment or monthly expenses of a CCRC. Our net worth is currently $700K—identical to what it was when I quit working in 2020. We are currently withdrawing $40K annually to supplement our SS income of $70K to fully enjoy the kind of experiences nearly good knees and hearts can do, while we can. We are at the end of our go-go road years yielding to slo-go at the next curve. We will look for a ground floor apartment with a walk-in shower and gym near our health care facilities (Kaiser in Washington State), live on our social security, get a more expensive Medicare Advantage plan, and protect what savings we have to cover whatever health needs are not covered by Medicare. We expect that to be about $600K. We have agreed that we will do whatever needs to be done to keep the other from devoting what’s left of their life to full-time personal care on a long-term basis. We’ve seen too many widowed friends nearly kill themselves doing so. We admire a couple who spent week-ends together but not week-days as he checked himself into an assisted living facility during the week, allowing her to maintain her friendships and travel. And neither of us would have a problem with returning to part-time work (at least in theory, haha!). We’ve discussed terminal illnesses at length, having both had cancer. My husband is still living, after 13 years, with Stage 4 prostate cancer which is managed by regular injections of hormone blockers. I’ve been free of Stage 2 breast cancer for 7 years now. I have no problem opting for assisted suicide when my care/pain/ability to enjoy life is at its end. My husband, a lapsed but believing Catholic, expects he’ll move closer to family on the East Coast if he is the survivor. Of course, life may have wildly different plans than our paltry human ones. And denial and magical thinking have their role to play. I think I might hear some of you more well-heeled and frugal souls screaming at us as I write this. In the meantime, we’re of the Live Your Life, Live Your Life bent. Thanks for the thought-provoking and clarifying post.
Post: Distance from family: inconvenience…or a financial planning blind spot?
Link to comment from January 3, 2026
I have gotten into the habit of purchasing T bills via Schwab on a laddered basis for my cash reserves if need be, I can sell them before maturity. And the yields range from 3 1/2 to 4 1/2%.
Post: Where to Keep Cash
Link to comment from December 6, 2025
Laughing. We claim we are die with zero people and informed our children of such. But barring a catastrophic health event or financial meltdown, we can’t seem to spend fast enough. Best guess is our kids end up with 200K or so.
Post: Die With Zero? Hell No
Link to comment from July 19, 2025
So should I rethink my attitude towards crypto? It is currently the devil’s currency in my opinion.
Post: Under Pressure
Link to comment from July 19, 2025
I was persuaded to rollover my 401k into a dividend fund. It is primarily blue chips and has performed well. Could I have made more? Maybe. With the same peace of mind and steady growth? Unlikely. Converting any to Roth doesn’t make financial sense. The IRA is half of my investments. And the dividends should never tip me beyond the 12% bracket. I start RMDs next year and the dividends now nearly equal my RMDs which gives me peace of mind as well. If the fund grows at 2% it will easily outlast me even if I slightly increase my withdrawals. I am shooting to die with zero. To each his own.
Post: Dividend Days
Link to comment from July 5, 2025
We older women get it. I'm amazed that aging has come with an invisibility cloak. Bartenders and waiters don't see me. Hours can pass in public places without any acknowledgment of my membership in the human race. My opinions are rarely sought. Now that I'm familiar with the phenomenon, I find a strange comfort in it.
Post: The Wrong-Sided Man
Link to comment from May 10, 2025
I appreciate this article so very much. My brothers and I took turns taking care of our mother for 25 years after a brain-damaging aneurysm—long before the advent of CCRCs (which would have been a godsend). And I watched my son take care of my ex over 3 long, horrific years. I could never burden him with another years-long parental death. My husband is 76 and I am 71. We have already explicitly shared that neither of us wants the other to stop being a spouse to become a nurse. A few weeks is one thing—to do so as the street of bodily health becomes a slick, 1-way downhill avenue is another thing altogether. So, I’m looking at CCRCs and need to find a good step-by-step guide to researching them (we travel full-time now but will eventually return to the Tacoma area).
Post: As Evening Approaches
Link to comment from February 15, 2025
They’re one of our regular charities as well.
Post: Does Charitable Giving Make Things Better?
Link to comment from February 1, 2025
The Williamsburg Foundation—good for you. I had the good fortune to play Tory-daughter Eileen in their summer outdoor drama (The Common Glory) the last year before it closed (1976). One of the perks was free tickets to Williamsburg—every day I visited one of the workshops. The bookbinders, the wheelwrights, etc. I loved it. I’m glad to hear Williamsburg is still thriving, even though The Common Glory went belly up!
Post: Does Charitable Giving Make Things Better?
Link to comment from February 1, 2025
I worked for non-profits for 43 years (in the arts and humanities). AND, I’ve been a tither (10%+ of my income annually) to various non-profits for over 30 years now. I give to about 10-15 non-profits annually, including the occasional emergencies (fires,floods, etc). Your ruminations are healthy ones—how to assess not just the efficacy of your dollars but how best to have your values expressed through your gifts. How best to give financial voice to your heart. Key is to understand the mission and goals of the organization. And, then, look to see how they report their own progress towards those ends. I always look at their 990s on guidestar.org (AKA Candid now, I think). Does their budget align with their mission? And, please, don’t allow high staff costs to put you off—it sometimes takes PEOPLE to help people—non-profit workers should not have to take vows to poverty or forego health insurance or retirement benefits. It is still work. And CEO salaries are market-driven—many of the larger non-profits require a comprehensive skill-set. What is, in your words, substantial? If I give to a program that provides fee-free experiences in the arts, those smiles and exposure are substantial enough for me. I give to food banks as well—one person not going hungry is fine by me. And, there are the long term gifts to organizations who are aspirational in their missions. Have they made progress towards eradicating teen pregnancy or yellow fever? My husband and I have both had cancer so we give to research for those cancers. Even if they haven’t “succeeded,” do you get the sense their goals and tactics are on track to do so? If you’re contemplating a major gift or legacy gift, MEET the advancement officer and/or CEO to get a sense of their passion for the mission. I’ve always taken the view that non-profits were created to mitigate the excesses of capitalism, providing services that government can’t or won’t do. I try to make my money “count” to help create a world I want to live in. For me, that’s a world where people are free to express themselves creatively, cancer is eradicated and people, regardless of their circumstance are treated with dignity and respect.
Post: Does Charitable Giving Make Things Better?
Link to comment from February 1, 2025