I've supported my parents for 6 years, beginning in AL, and now Dad in a nursing home (Mom passed 3 years ago). My parents refused to leave FL upon entering AL, even though closest family was 1000 miles away (both were adamant on this point). They lived in an upscale AL that provided transport to medical appts within 10 miles for no charge. Other appts we occasionally had to arrange for medical transport for a fee (not often). From the research I did on AL facilities, most did provide medical transport within a radius of the facility. In retrospect, I think if my parents had to do it over again, I think they would have moved closer to family. I think they thought they could maintain social connections with nearby friends that pretty much disappeared once they moved into AL. While challenging to support my parents from afar, I was able to support them for the most part from afar. Fortunately on-line resources make this much easier- I couldn't imagine doing so 15 years ago, with fewer on-line support resources. Basically, I'm saying family support can be provided from afar with the right AL in place if the family member needs or wants to stay in their current community.
Agree about the fall. Before we bought our home on CC, and before kids in school, we always vacationed the second week of September- the tourist crowds were much lower, and the weather was perfect- though this summer has had exceptionally good weather (less humidity and high temps)- much like we used to have 15 years ago. Before we retired, we always treasured our weekends during the off season. It's a great time to explore. We've done First Night Chatham, but usually during the day, and have a nice late lunch to avoid the crowds, and celebrate the year.
Dick, my wife and I relocated to Cape Cod 7 years ago as we retired. We had our CC home for many years, so we had an idea what we were getting into, but agreed to move back off Cape if we found the Cape too isolated in the off season, or just difficult to make new connections. We only moved about 1.5 hours away from our old neighborhood, so we can easily visit there if we choose, but as time has gone by, we try not to cross the canal bridges, and preferably not cross the Bass River bridge. We made a commitment to put ourselves out into the community, joining various groups and a local church, and quickly had a great network of friends that we socialize with year round. Our children are on 1-1.5 hours away, and they visit us fairly regularly. My wife and I both agree that we wouldn’t have been as active socially or physically had we stayed in our old community. Weather is also better year round on CC. Heck. We’ve only had measurable snow maybe 4-5 times in 7 winters. Some folks grumble about our income tax, but I don’t find it burdensome, and is somewhat offset by the generally lower real estate taxes when compared to a state like NH (which has no state income tax).
Retired 8 years in late 60’s. In the past few years been wrestling with DIY jobs around the house, and telling myself I would be better off hiring someone to do these jobs. My younger self generally didn’t mind doing these jobs, and liked the accomplishment of finishing the job. Now at times, I’m thinking I could be spending the time on my hobbies, or excercise pursuits. I may try out a handyman service in the near future if can find a good one in our area. We’ve had bad luck with handyman services in past few years (passed away, poor workmanship).
I believe the movement of future interest rates is unknowable. I do however have some concern that some flavor of the 2022 bond market could show up though. I currently allocate to individual t-bills with durations out to 3 years, individual TIPs with durations to 5 years, I bonds (I’ve owned these for 25 years), and high yield corporates. Our bond holdings did well during 2022, though much of it was held in a stable value fund in my former 401k plan in the years leading up to 2022, and for the following year. Some may find this too much complexity though, and I may simplify these allocations to a simple 3 year t-bill laddie in my early 70s as I begin SS, and also see the majority of my I bond positions mature.
Dick, I don’t receive a pension, but if I did, I would have elected my survivor to get 100% of my pension payments. I know you didn’t delay SS, but I am until age 70. My wife whose SS benefit at FRA is about 30% of mine, will get my much higher 70 benefit should she outlive me. This was always part of our plan, and the generous delay credit SS provides. At age 73, SS and RMDs from our IRAs should provide ample income to live on, along with dividends from our taxable portfolio.
I’ve been at a 60/40 allocation since retiring 8 years ago. I shifted to a 50/50 allocation earlier this year due in part to: 1) large portfolio gains over the previous 2 years, and 2) reducing risk in the portfolio until starting SS at age 70 in 4 years. Though “we won the game” before retiring, I feel the current AA better reduces risk for us with fixed income investments in safe treasuries in that would easily cover our expense needs for 15 years. As part of reducing risk, I also shrunk an allocation to high yield corporate bonds within my fixed income allocation. Was holding about 20% if FI, but reduced that to 5%. I know holding HY bonds is against conventional wisdom, but our holdings in this space have performed as expected for us. I’ve always held 20% of equities in international, and am comfortable holding at that %. That holding has helped blunt some of the recent losses in US stocks recently, but no one knows if that will continue.
I dealt with this issue for a family member who passed away a few years ago. I used a tax preparer/CPA to prepare the tax return for the surviving spouse in order to determine the best way to handle those expenses. The CPA did a great job compiling the return and maximizing the deductions available- beyond what I may have figured out. I didn’t choose DIY, but having done my own returns for years, a had a good idea what documentation the CPA would be looking for and was able to get him all info for the return in one meeting, which kept his fee down (under $500). Sometimes the selective use of professionals is warranted, if not only to make the best use of one’s time.
I’ve read articles like this for a few years. I seem to recall last year check washing was prevalent, so I really only write a a few checks that are usually given directly to the service provider, or I’m dropping at the PO- though that proved unreliable 2 weeks ago for a package. Tracking showed it never left the PO. Have pending insurance claim for that one. Based on reading this, I’ll likely just stop writing checks.
Comments
I've supported my parents for 6 years, beginning in AL, and now Dad in a nursing home (Mom passed 3 years ago). My parents refused to leave FL upon entering AL, even though closest family was 1000 miles away (both were adamant on this point). They lived in an upscale AL that provided transport to medical appts within 10 miles for no charge. Other appts we occasionally had to arrange for medical transport for a fee (not often). From the research I did on AL facilities, most did provide medical transport within a radius of the facility. In retrospect, I think if my parents had to do it over again, I think they would have moved closer to family. I think they thought they could maintain social connections with nearby friends that pretty much disappeared once they moved into AL. While challenging to support my parents from afar, I was able to support them for the most part from afar. Fortunately on-line resources make this much easier- I couldn't imagine doing so 15 years ago, with fewer on-line support resources. Basically, I'm saying family support can be provided from afar with the right AL in place if the family member needs or wants to stay in their current community.
Post: How to minimize the caregiving burden on our adult children when we need help?
Link to comment from August 9, 2025
Agree about the fall. Before we bought our home on CC, and before kids in school, we always vacationed the second week of September- the tourist crowds were much lower, and the weather was perfect- though this summer has had exceptionally good weather (less humidity and high temps)- much like we used to have 15 years ago. Before we retired, we always treasured our weekends during the off season. It's a great time to explore. We've done First Night Chatham, but usually during the day, and have a nice late lunch to avoid the crowds, and celebrate the year.
Post: Let’s revisit the pros and cons of relocating upon retirement
Link to comment from August 3, 2025
Dick, my wife and I relocated to Cape Cod 7 years ago as we retired. We had our CC home for many years, so we had an idea what we were getting into, but agreed to move back off Cape if we found the Cape too isolated in the off season, or just difficult to make new connections. We only moved about 1.5 hours away from our old neighborhood, so we can easily visit there if we choose, but as time has gone by, we try not to cross the canal bridges, and preferably not cross the Bass River bridge. We made a commitment to put ourselves out into the community, joining various groups and a local church, and quickly had a great network of friends that we socialize with year round. Our children are on 1-1.5 hours away, and they visit us fairly regularly. My wife and I both agree that we wouldn’t have been as active socially or physically had we stayed in our old community. Weather is also better year round on CC. Heck. We’ve only had measurable snow maybe 4-5 times in 7 winters. Some folks grumble about our income tax, but I don’t find it burdensome, and is somewhat offset by the generally lower real estate taxes when compared to a state like NH (which has no state income tax).
Post: Let’s revisit the pros and cons of relocating upon retirement
Link to comment from July 31, 2025
Retired 8 years in late 60’s. In the past few years been wrestling with DIY jobs around the house, and telling myself I would be better off hiring someone to do these jobs. My younger self generally didn’t mind doing these jobs, and liked the accomplishment of finishing the job. Now at times, I’m thinking I could be spending the time on my hobbies, or excercise pursuits. I may try out a handyman service in the near future if can find a good one in our area. We’ve had bad luck with handyman services in past few years (passed away, poor workmanship).
Post: DIY
Link to comment from July 17, 2025
I believe the movement of future interest rates is unknowable. I do however have some concern that some flavor of the 2022 bond market could show up though. I currently allocate to individual t-bills with durations out to 3 years, individual TIPs with durations to 5 years, I bonds (I’ve owned these for 25 years), and high yield corporates. Our bond holdings did well during 2022, though much of it was held in a stable value fund in my former 401k plan in the years leading up to 2022, and for the following year. Some may find this too much complexity though, and I may simplify these allocations to a simple 3 year t-bill laddie in my early 70s as I begin SS, and also see the majority of my I bond positions mature.
Post: Bond Conundrum
Link to comment from July 10, 2025
Wifey is very astute!
Post: The Wrong-Sided Man
Link to comment from May 9, 2025
Dick, I don’t receive a pension, but if I did, I would have elected my survivor to get 100% of my pension payments. I know you didn’t delay SS, but I am until age 70. My wife whose SS benefit at FRA is about 30% of mine, will get my much higher 70 benefit should she outlive me. This was always part of our plan, and the generous delay credit SS provides. At age 73, SS and RMDs from our IRAs should provide ample income to live on, along with dividends from our taxable portfolio.
Post: Have you planned survivor income for your spouse or someone dependent on you?
Link to comment from May 6, 2025
I’ve been at a 60/40 allocation since retiring 8 years ago. I shifted to a 50/50 allocation earlier this year due in part to: 1) large portfolio gains over the previous 2 years, and 2) reducing risk in the portfolio until starting SS at age 70 in 4 years. Though “we won the game” before retiring, I feel the current AA better reduces risk for us with fixed income investments in safe treasuries in that would easily cover our expense needs for 15 years. As part of reducing risk, I also shrunk an allocation to high yield corporate bonds within my fixed income allocation. Was holding about 20% if FI, but reduced that to 5%. I know holding HY bonds is against conventional wisdom, but our holdings in this space have performed as expected for us. I’ve always held 20% of equities in international, and am comfortable holding at that %. That holding has helped blunt some of the recent losses in US stocks recently, but no one knows if that will continue.
Post: Ch-Ch-Changes?
Link to comment from May 6, 2025
I dealt with this issue for a family member who passed away a few years ago. I used a tax preparer/CPA to prepare the tax return for the surviving spouse in order to determine the best way to handle those expenses. The CPA did a great job compiling the return and maximizing the deductions available- beyond what I may have figured out. I didn’t choose DIY, but having done my own returns for years, a had a good idea what documentation the CPA would be looking for and was able to get him all info for the return in one meeting, which kept his fee down (under $500). Sometimes the selective use of professionals is warranted, if not only to make the best use of one’s time.
Post: Deducting Medical Expenses of a Decedent
Link to comment from April 28, 2025
I’ve read articles like this for a few years. I seem to recall last year check washing was prevalent, so I really only write a a few checks that are usually given directly to the service provider, or I’m dropping at the PO- though that proved unreliable 2 weeks ago for a package. Tracking showed it never left the PO. Have pending insurance claim for that one. Based on reading this, I’ll likely just stop writing checks.
Post: It’s 2025. Do you send checks by mail?
Link to comment from April 27, 2025