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I like the idea of writing my obituary in the first person. I have composed a few drafts of such an obituary. It has been fun recalling memories from my youth and of raising my children, and thinking about the 8,590 or so days that Chrissy and I have been together, even former occupations and the friends I have made along the way.
It would begin something like this; If you’re reading this, you waited too long to call me; I can’t do lunch, I’m dead. If you like, you can stop by the mortuary and look at me for a spell. There’s even going to be a party after the service. I’ll leave details at the end of this obituary.
The one part I can’t write is the way it all ends. It would be nice if I could write my own ending, but what would I write? There must be 50 ways to write your ending.
I missed a corner driving through the mountains while on vacation.
My heart exploded while shoveling the snow with that stupid new electric snow shovel.
I fell down the steps after tripping on one of Sophie the wonder cat’s toys.
I was eaten by a shark while swimming in the warm blue water off the coast of St. Somewhere.
Apparently those weren’t mushrooms on my pizza.
I accidentally locked myself inside a self cleaning oven. That’ll save money on cremation, though some of the ashes could be from last night’s dinner.
A piano fell on my head.
My gold mine collapsed on me.
I fell in the pen and the hogs ate me.
I died with a smile while in the loving embrace….
I like that last one the best.
Feel free to add to my list. It looks like I need about another 40 ways.
Articles written by Jonathan after his diagnosis lay out a road map that you can use to make things easier for your family. That’s what I would like to do as well. I have made use of WillMaker software to prepare wills, transfer on death affidavits for real estate, letter of instruction, health directives, POAs, and more. I have consolidated accounts. I am making an attempt to unload things that have some meaning to me, but won’t for anyone else, and all my accounts name the proper beneficiaries.
Monty Python aficionados will recognize the next line. “I’m not dead yet”, but no matter the cause of my demise, I want to do all I can now, so that Chrissy and the kids won’t have to do anything except crank up the music and pay for the party after I’m gone.
The last line of my obit reads:
Mike’s ashes have been illegally scattered on his favorite place in the world, Pistol River State Beach in southern Oregon. He invites everyone to come and walk all over him.
What a great way to finish, I may have to borrow that idea.
Great idea. I have written my obit but it is way too long to pay the newspaper to print it. I really miss the days when there were long obits in the newspaper. Reading about people’s lives, even though I did not know them, was so interesting.
Obits are crazy expensive to print.
Great article, thanks Dan.
I read this with “50 ways to leave your lover” rattling through my head.
It’s interesting to think about your own eulogy. The notion of “CV virtues” via “Resume virtues” I find to be pretty neat. I hope my eulogy speaks about family and community, and mentions some work stuff as a minor sideline (if at all).
Ha, I began attempting to make the article fit the song; it didn’t work out.
Oh, just slip out the back, Jack.
Perhaps AI can help you fit the article to song.
It could indeed. Still another good use for the billion $$$ technology 😅
You likely would be a fan of the comedy series The Cleaner on Brit Box. The series combines dark humor about death with emotional moments as he performs his cleaner job where he is responsible for removing all signs of death, blood, and fluids at murder and death scenes.
Any hands on guidance for assuring your DIY will and documents meets the legal witness requirements of your state?
Care to share further thoughts on your preference of using beneficiary designations and ownership titling as the main vehicle for transferring your financial assets after death instead transfer via will?
Bill, we are always looking for something good to watch, thanks for the tip.
As for hands on guidance; absolutely! In my last edited article for Jonathan, (https://humbledollar.com/2024/10/having-the-last-word), I explained that my ace in the hole was that my son-in-law is an estate attorney, while the other s-i-l is a financial professional; both reviewed my work. I also have some experience doing the same for my parents. After they passed, the PODs worked perfectly.
The trickiest document was creating the Transfer on Death affidavit on the house. WillMaker has the document, tailored for each state that allows them, and the county auditor was helpful as well.
As Michael1 mentioned below, the TOD/POD designations are simple to change when necessary.
Can’t answer for Dan’s thinking, but fwiw, my father just redid his will with an attorney, who strongly recommended designating beneficiaries on accounts that allow it, as those transfers will happen pretty much automatically regardless of anything that may happen with the will.
Another practical reason is that if you change your mind, you can make the change with a few keystrokes rather than have to redo a will.
Michael, you nailed my thinking!
Banks and brokerage usually have payable on death (POD) designations (including contingencies) that legally take priority over wills. Most also allow for different proportions to different beneficiarirs. We did find it more of a hassle to do this with Chase than with other institutions.