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One of HD’s newer authors, Alina Fisch has a great article about Bucket Lists, but it was something in her bio that really caught my attention. Alina is a fee only financial advisor focused on helping single and divorced women.
My experience with the subject comes from my own divorce, as well as a handful of my income tax clients who found themselves in that situation.
These women were all good people and loving moms whose marriages ended for a variety of reasons. They ended up with a property settlement, and either child or spousal support (or a combination of the two).
And they were all adamant about keeping the house. My wife and I split the value of our assets 50/50, and I was more than happy to give her our house in exchange for my keeping a greater share of my retirement savings.
All these women used their monetary support to maintain and live in what had been the marital home. Problem is that child support is finite, spousal support is often finite. In the examples I use, all of the women could have transitioned to less expensive homes long before the support orders ended.
The expense of delaying the downsizing had significant negative effects on their future retirement.
When a couple heads into divorce, the family courts often suggest or order counseling, especially if kids are involved. Afterwards other than enforcing the support order these women are on their own. I think it would be great if the courts could make post-divorce counseling available that included a free consultation with a reputable fee for services financial advisor.
Thoughts?
I think it is a great idea to have financial counseling upon a divorce, especially for either of the couple who needs good financial advice.
Splitting the resources of the couple into two parts often creates challenges for both parties.
I am a facilitator in our churches Griefshare ministry which ministers to grieving people. Many of our participants need good, unbiased financial advice. To my knowledge, our church does not provide such a program. I intend to discuss that need with our elders.
I agree with Kathy and Kristine -the more you move the less likely you are to become attached to a particular home. I am in one of the most modest houses in my little town, surrounded by several single women much older than me who live in huge houses. When I look at these beautiful, well-maintained homes, I think “What a lot of work.” But different strokes for different folks …… And I firmly agree with Marjorie that in the wake of a sudden or traumatic loss, especially when children are involved, moving right away would add to the sense of loss.
“When I look at these beautiful, well-maintained homes, I think “What a lot of work.” “
Exactly. I bought a smaller house than I could have theoretically have afforded because I didn’t see the point of anything bigger. Not only would my mortgage payment have been bigger, along with taxes and insurance, but it would have cost more to heat, cool, clean and furnish.
As I’ve written, in 1994 my wife and I bought the home I grew up in. My parents lived with us the rest of their lives. I lived in that house for 44 of my 67 years. There are defiantly fond memories, and times I miss it, but we were ready to move on. It may have helped that we sold it to a local, young family with strong ties to the neighborhood.
I have limited experience with divorced family and friends. It can be very difficult, both emotionally and financially. When there children who are in good schools with lot of friends and activities, moving could be very tough.
I’ve seen a related dynamic when someone suddenly loses a spouse. If there are children, it is reasonable to want to limit the amount of change in light of a wrenching loss.