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Looking back in the archives, I came across Jonathan’s No Regrets article. In it, he wrote “I’ve known enough bad times to have perspective”. I think there are both good and bad perspectives to be gleaned from such times. The important thing is to grab the good ones in order to move forward. For example, many HumbleDollar contributors write that they came from poor families, and from that experience, came the desire and drive to get more out of life. I also know people who came from abusive families, and choose to break the cycle. Still, for many people, for a variety of reasons, the cycle of poverty and abuse remains unbroken.
Jonathan also wrote, “While I worried a lot about money in my 20s and 30s, I haven’t worried much since”. I found this interesting because, although it took me longer, I don’t worry about money either. I’m here at the HumbleDollar for a few other reasons. One is my interest in managing our finances; lots of actionable advice here. The other is just hanging out with interesting people; some of you are real characters, you know who you are.🙃
As I read your article I realized two things. First, you worried about money in your twenties and thirties, I kind of wish I had but I’m also thankful I didn’t. The pension from staying with one company (Hostess Cake) for over thirty years and multiple pensions along with S.S. take care of us very well. Secondly, your last line ” some of you are real characters , you know who you are” … If you don’t think you hang out with”real characters” you might be the”real character” 😉
Right, LH, they say one out of every four people are crazy. If the three you are with seem normal…..
Dan, I think Jonathan understood that difficult times can give us perspective, but they don’t automatically make us wiser or stronger. As you say, the challenge is taking something useful from those experiences and moving forward.
I also smiled at your reason for being here. Jonathan created HumbleDollar to help people make better financial decisions, but I think he was equally proud of the community that grew around it. The actionable advice matters, but so do the conversations, friendships and, yes, the characters. I suspect Jonathan would be very pleased that people still come here for all three.
Extra points for the first verse of a Buffett song.
Busted! I had just returned from the Coral Reefer concert at Pine Knob.
Pine Knob – great music, great times.
Dan, thanks for the prompt to read Jonathan’s article again.
Perspective usually comes with achievement or experience. Jonathan writes about his view of life from the vantage point he had at that time. But it’s hard to focus on anything but the end goal until we get there, or at least feel we are well on our way. And many folks remain so caught up in the struggle that they never get a chance to view their life differently.
Blessed is the person who can find contentment early in life, and keep it until they die.
I too have been guilty of worrying about money. But the longer I live (I will soon be 82), I realize that good health is a true blessing. I know many people younger than me who do not have good health, and all the money in the world cannot change that.
The 2nd blessing (not in order) is having great friends and family. There is much to be thankful here as well.
I belong to a small Bible study group of 10 men. As I write this, one has a young granddaughter who is seriously ill and hospitalized with kidney infections, another is bed ridden with Parkinsons, another has an adult son undergoing treatment at a mental health hospital for a mental condition, I have a special needs granddaughter, and I lost my beloved wife of 57 years last year.
Faith keeps us all grounded on what is important in life. It is not money.
Thanks for posting, Jerry, you sure do put things in a healthy perspective. religious groups such as yours and Dana’s (DrLefty) can contribute to a positive retired life. It’s truly not all about money.
Jerry, we have a Bible study (church-sponsored) that meets in our home. There are 13 of us, six couples and a single. The oldest couple turned 70 last year. The youngest member will turn 60 next March. All of us have adult children.
We started meeting in 2020, and in the 6+ years we’ve been together, six members have lost a parent, three couples have become first-time grandparents, and another couple and the single have added new grandchildren. All of us except one couple had COVID, several of us multiple times. There have been two cancer diagnoses, one heart attack, and myriad other health issues around the group. Plenty of worries/events with our kids–car accidents/injuries (that was our daughter, twice), prison time/mental illness, unemployment, estrangement–oh, and three weddings, too.
Part of this is the natural consequence of the stage of life we’re all in together, but it certainly makes it all a bit easier to take when you have friends who will pray for you, bring you meals when you’re sick or lost a loved one, provide gifts for a new grandbaby, and so on.
Thanks Dr Lefty. I totally agree. The prayers and support of a group like yours is powerful.
I am sorry for the loss of your wife. Bob
Thanks
Dan, I think Jonathan understood that difficult times can give us perspective, but what we do with that perspective is ultimately up to us. Hardship can make us bitter, or it can make us more grateful, resilient and compassionate. Like you, I’ve known enough difficult times to appreciate the good ones much more than I might have otherwise.
I also smiled at your reason for being here. Jonathan created HumbleDollar to help people make better financial decisions, but I think he’d be pleased that it became something more; a community where people come for the financial wisdom and stay for the people. And yes, there are definitely a few characters around here.
Andrew, I don’t know if it was intentional on your brother’s part, but I think Jonathan nurtured the community aspect of HD in the way that he interacted with the writers. His respect and encouragement gave this unskilled writer the confidence to submit articles and make comments. I think the blog generally reflects Jonathan’s values.
I second your comment. Jonathan was unstinting with his encouragement. Meanwhile, when he did point out a flaw, he did it in a way that caused me to laugh at my shortcomings and want to improve.
I like all the comments below. There is a common theme in the replies so far. It is that there are more important things in life than money.
Worry is the wrong word, but vigilance may be right. Our investments are our security blanket and our legacy. I just don’t like seeing the numbers go down regardless of the reason. It literally took 65 years to achieve our goals.
It’s not logical I know, but I still think of my parents who had only SS and my sister who is only a bit better off, but still no investments and it disturbs me.
On the other hand, I know for sure there are far more important things in life than money, things over which we have little or no control.
Dick, your 3rd point is so powerful that it overshadows the first two. Connie is going through so much at this time, and she is lucky to have you in her corner. While you strive to take good care of Connie, don’t forget to take care of yourself as well.
Well said, Dick.
Great perspective.
Thanks Dan. I’ve had a very fortunate life, but inevitably we’ve had our challenges along the way. And I’m sure I’m all the better for having to get through rough patches.
In an odd way, looking back on tough times can be pretty satisfying, feeling a bit of pride for hanging in there and making it out the other end.
The more time you spend in personal finance circles the more you realise that though you thought it was all about money, in many ways that is the least important part, well behind wellbeing both physical and mental/spiritual.
And that’s as important on the journey to retirement as in retirement. And if the money thing is the lead in to helping you understand that it’s just the thing that nudges you into finding the things you truly value and planning to have/sustain them.
And if your frame it the right way lots of bad luck can be viewed as a lesson or experience that makes the good things better. I’ve certainly known cancer survivors who emerge with a whole new joie de vivre having looked into the darkness.
We need to be tolerant and forgiving of ourselves. Of course we’re flawed. we screw up and make sub-optimal decisions and put ourselves in places where we are more vulnerable to “luck”. And some of us really do get unfair outcomes through no fault of our own or long ago choices or inherited behaviour patterns. It’s being human. All the more reason to squeeze all the juice from the good days.
I came across the FIRE (Financially Independent, Retire Early) movement years ago. I had no interest in retiring early myself, but I was intrigued by the concept of attaining financial independence. For myself, it was the point in time when I realized that I no longer felt stress while managing my finances. And like you, I enjoy managing our finances, and over the years have adapted suggestions from many wise folks, some of whom have posted on Humble Dollar. For myself, “enough” meant I could focus on living without stressing over financial matters. Nice post, Dan.
”For myself, it was the point in time when I realized that I no longer felt stress while managing my finances.”
For me “that point in time” was when a financial advisor confirmed that we had obtained enough assets that we could retire. Many HD readers have written that when they retired they still had difficulty spending money. For me that was not the case. Once I knew we had “made it” financially it was time to spend from the kitty, as that is why we had scrimped and saved for all those years, that is to have a retirement where we didn’t have to worry about money, but could just live my best life. We’re truly blessed.
David, exactly how I feel. We went out for dinner with my 2 adult daughters and their husbands last night (their kids away at camp or at home with babysitter) for our Anniversary. We had a great time for a rare “adults only” dinner and I gladly picked up the check. During dinner I had some of those same thoughts and realized how blessed we are having worked hard to get to this point in our lives. No issues enjoying our time and spending some money on these occasions.
In the past two years I’ve had a daughter and son get married. My son’s wedding cost me 23% of what my daughter’s did–sort of a 4:1 ratio of expenses for daughter and son. 😉. Fortunately, I’m in a position where the cost of the weddings, numbers that would have given me a heart attack years ago, turned out to be expenses we could easily absorb and now I have very fond memories of those two occasions. As noted above, I feel grateful for being in this situation while in retirement.