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If the neighbors told you they were saving for retirement, would you go ahead and recommend specific investments, without asking any further questions?
That’s been my life since the world learned about my cancer diagnosis. Strangers, who know nothing about the details of my relatively rare variation of lung cancer, have sent me messages telling me the doctors I should see, the cancer centers I should visit, the books I should read, the diets I should follow, the clinical trials I should join and the medications I should take.
And, if it’s any comfort, this isn’t just a U.S. phenomenon. My article in The Telegraph of London this week unleashed another wave of cancer advice. It seems the Brits are just as bad as us Americans—and, yes, I do think of myself as American. I’ve now spent almost three-quarters of my life on this side of the pond.
Some of these purported cancer experts are, of course, “talking their book” and stand to profit from whatever they’re pushing. But what about everybody else? It would be easy to let them off the hook by saying their intentions are good.
But I’ve become less forgiving. If I bothered with any of this unsolicited advice, I’d be wasting the precious time I have left and potentially shortening my life expectancy by following irrelevant medical advice.
Yes, if we’re knowledgeable about finance or about medicine, we might want to help friends and family members. But before we start dishing out advice, perhaps we should ask a few questions. It’s the age-old problem: It seems we humans are superb at talking—but not so good at listening.
Jonathon, if you would , could you please tell the reasons why you decided to live here , instead of England.
I have never been to any foreign nations, actually Canada for a few days and one day in Tijuana, and I am curious as why you decided to leave your birth nation.
I have never heard anything very negative about The United Kingdom, and always here how much superior their health care is, how much safer, virtually no impoverished citizens, no ghettos or slums, etc. Thank You.
I moved to the U.S. twice — with my parents when I was age three (I don’t believe I was consulted on the decision) and of my own volition when I was age 23. The latter followed a year of working as a journalist in London post-college. My 1986 move was for a mix of family and career reasons. But I wasn’t sad to leave England behind. Yes, there’s much to like. But back then, the country suffered from terrible class snobbery, my salary was pitifully low and my living conditions in London were pretty terrible. I had a so-called bedsit in a house with five other men. We shared a single bathroom. Fortunately, the others didn’t seem to bathe terribly often….
Thank you.
As the famous TV judge often said, ‘We have two ears and one mouth for a reason.’ And while we’re at it, the focus should be to listen to understand, and not listen to respond.