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MY HUSBAND SAYS I’LL never retire. He’s right. Now in my 78th year, I have no intention of stopping work altogether to devote myself to round-the-clock leisure. That sounds unappealing, especially since I plan to live well into my 90s, just like my great-grandmother.
Most of my friends opted to retire in their 60s. That includes my husband, Charlie. He retired at age 61 after 38 years as a nuclear engineer, all that time with the same company. Following the death of his first wife, Charlie continued to work at his challenging job for several more years, and then decided he was ready to go. Doing the math, he was confident that his pension and substantial savings would be more than enough to sustain his retirement. That was the right decision for Charlie.
What about me? I continued my financial planning practice until age 67. But after selling that business, I wasn’t ready to retire. Rather, I shifted to an encore career that involved writing, speaking and doing research on widows, including the financial issues they face and what advisors can do to help them.
That soon became a full-time commitment, including giving almost 300 presentations nationwide. I wrote for or was featured in more than 150 related publications. During this six-year phase, I maxed out my retirement savings. I also increased my charitable contributions to my “Moving Forward on Your Own” personal-giving fund, which is managed by the Community Foundation Tampa Bay. I was having too much fun to consider traditional retirement.
But as the seasons changed, so did my priorities. It was time for another shift. My stamina decreased, and the allure of constant travel and hotel living waned. I wanted to spend more time with my new husband and the activities I enjoyed in our community. So, at the end of 2019, two weeks before I turned age 73, I resigned from this encore career. It was perfect timing—because, in early 2020, the pandemic shut down the world.
It was a time of reflection, not only on the past but also on exciting possibilities that could lie ahead. Looking back on my life, the one thing that remained constant was change. I had shifted occupations several times, picking up new skills and credentials along the way, repackaging existing abilities, and reinventing myself many times.
My life started as a farmgirl. My first career was teaching in public schools for five years, while earning my PhD. Next, I became a university professor for five years, earning tenure. After that, I entered the nonprofit sector and worked as a development and communications director for a dozen years. Along the way, I earned the Certified Fund Raising Executive credential and, after further rigorous education, I added the Certified Financial Planner designation.
With yet more training and mentoring, I launched Rehl Financial Advisors at age 49. It remained a specialized practice by design, focused on philanthropic planning and assisting surviving spouses. There was always a waiting list for prospective clients, and the firm was often featured in the media. But I didn’t want to do that work forever. That’s why, a few years after my late husband’s death and after writing a financial guidebook for widows, I shifted to my six-year encore career focused on widows.
Amid these professional changes, I also experienced many personal changes, including divorce, being a single parent, remarrying, the premature death of that spouse, death by suicide of my stepdaughter, death of my ex, death of my parents, and several moves across the country.
After ending my encore career, what awaited me wasn’t a conventional retirement marked by withdrawal from life and a retreat into restful oblivion. Instead, I stepped into “refirement.” The authors of The ReFirement Workbook coined the term as an invitation to explore who one wants to be and do in later years. I identified five “F” words and phrases that were vital to me and continue to be so today: family, fun, focused-purpose, friends and fitness—including fitness of body, mind, spirit and money.
I continue to enjoy growing, learning and working part-time. According to Harvard Business Review, two-thirds of older Americans share my view that retirement is another chapter in life, with new ambitions and purposes. Today, I’m adjunct faculty at The American College of Financial Services, teaching in its Chartered Advisor in Philanthropy program. I write and speak about legacy and longevity planning at a few select conferences, mentor surviving spouses, and help nonprofits strengthen their endowments.
Hubby is right. I’ll never retire—because this new chapter continues to bring me great joy.
Kathleen M. Rehl owned Rehl Financial Advisors for 18 years, followed by an encore career empowering widows financially. She authored the award-winning book, Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows. Today, Kathleen helps nonprofits with their endowments, pens legacy stories and is an adjunct at The American College of Financial Services. You can learn more at www.KathleenRehl.com. Check out Kathleen’s earlier articles.
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I don’t work any more, but I spend an awful lot of time in learning activities – I read voraciously, and seek out some of the most challenging material I never got around to when I was young. Right now, I am wrapping up a deep dive into genetics that runs from the Avery DNA paper of 1944 through the chase to identify the structure of the DNA molecule (the Double Helix and its aftermath), to Jennifer Doudna’s CRISPR gene editing work (all the while also thinking about what those advances still don’t explain.) And because of recent events, I’m now starting on the history and future of this country’s foreign policy strategies in a polarized world (without poles). I enjoy reading the work of humanity’s best minds.
I decided to do all this about 6 years ago with just one insight. Though I was still working and also a big reader then, I was also a member of a golf club, and was able to play one or two times a week. As I gradually got older, I saw an increasing number of members who spent their time hanging out at the clubhouse and whose life revolved around hitting that little white ball into a hole. They seemed to slip into that status almost unconsciously. That scared me, and even though I was not like those guys, I said I had to make sure I did not wind up like that in the future. That insight schooled me on what NOT to do, and I’ve certainly moved on from there.
Your insight is also supported by science-based research. Folks who keep learning new things and engaging their brains are healthier, happier, and live longer. I currently participate in some lifelong learning classes to study new things and skills, plus expand my social circles. In my early 80s, I plan to move to a retirement community affiliated with a major state university. There, I’ll have access to many interesting courses to keep my brain agile! Glad you don’t want to fritter your life away “hitting that little white ball into a hole.”
I always really enjoy your articles here, Kathleen, and am an admirer of your work in general. I’m retiring next year from a 35-year career as a university professor, right before my 65th birthday. I’m not really wired for full-time leisure, either, though slowing down a bit sounds pretty appealing at this stage. I have a book project planned for the first year after I retire, plus a few smaller wrap-up things from my work life, and I hope to figure out where to invest both my energy and professional experience after that. Thanks for the inspiration.
I admire your tenacity in maintaining a 35-year career as a university professor. Yes, you’ve earned the right to “slowing down a bit.” I bet your book project will keep you happily occupied for at least a year, including writing, publishing, and marketing your tome. Indeed, writing my book took far less time than what came afterward. It sounds like you’re framing the upcoming first year of retirement as a transition time. Wonderful way to approach the time ahead.
What a small world Kathleen. I retired from The American College in January of this year, after 15 years as an academic. One of the many professional designations I earned over the years is the CAP.
Like you, I had three different careers, starting out in finance and lending career, then a financial services career, including being agency owner of one of the Big Three in Property & Casualty and Financial Services, and finally as an academic, focused in the ChFC/CLU, CFP and RICP programs.
I am early in my retirement “career,” and my wife and I are about to begin traveling for the next few months, as we explore different states and locales, to see where we want to live in retirement. The Beach, The Mountains, A Lake Community, a 55+ plus community…by the end of this year we will have visited them all.
I wish you the very best in your non-retirement, but just incase you change your mind about never retiring, one thing I have discovered since January 5th, 2024 is the joy of zero time pressure, since everyday is a blank sheet of paper and you are the only person that gets to write on it.
Yes, we have some interesting path parallels, including The American College connection. In refirement, I say NO to many activities/work I’m asked to do. I’m careful about not overdoing my commitments so I can keep those 5 F words in balance, which is sometimes challenging for me. I’m blessed to have enough income and financial assets, so money is not a major motivator in how I choose to use my time and talents. Have fun in your 2024 retirement discernment year!
Kevin – you were one of my instructors for my CFP at The American College. You were excellent. Thanks and enjoy retirement,
Thanks for an enjoyable article, Kathleen. Your journey has been very impressive. I’m especially impressed by how you’ve stayed active and useful. You should be proud.
Yes, my focus is on being useful . . . rather than youthful, as emphasized by many anti-aging advertisements. Glad you like my story. Writing is a fun way for me to be useful. Bet you feel the same.
Thanks for this, Kathleen. One thing on display here at HD is how many different types of happy retirement there are. I stay plenty busy but am thankful every day for no longer having to put up with the demands of a “regular” job.
As for all you have done and continue to do, it makes me tired just reading about it! Congrats and keep up the good “work”.
Thanks for reading my piece, Andrew. The last time I worked in a “regular job” was decades ago. I much preferred being my own boss at my financial planning firm and later during my encore career. Today I pick and choose which projects and activities to work on, and I definitely go at a slower pace. Refirement is such fun for me. It is not for everyone, but we can all pick and choose what’s right for us.
Kathleen, I’m also wired to work, rather than pursue leisure, but I’m not sure I can keep pace with you. I’ve enjoyed your past articles and hope to see more.
Thanks for letting me know you share my sentiments and like my stories.