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I MUST ADMIT THAT a part of me finds the subject of inflation a little boring and yet endearing, because it reminds me of conversations with my late mother. She’d balk at paying $2.50 for a cup of coffee at Dunkin’—hey old-timers, that’s what they call it now—as she distinctly remembered buying a cup of coffee for a nickel the day Pearl Harbor was bombed.
Another part of me, though, is feeling a little pinched. In my prior article about inflation, I reviewed some of the obvious antidotes: Don’t drive a pickup truck, slow down, don’t buy bottled water, shop at Aldi, turn up the thermostat and get Fidelity Investments to give you $100. I subsequently realized that the fight against higher prices goes on and that these further countermeasures may need to be deployed:
1. Pop your own corn. In 2018, I stayed in an Airbnb in Montague, Michigan, that came with a gratis container of loose corn that renters could pop “the old-fashioned way”—that is, by heating kernels in a saucepan. The secret is applying a generous layer of olive oil to the bottom of the pan.
It was a revelation, as this popped corn tasted far better than all the previous corn I’d ever popped, including using a microwavable bag of indeterminate composition. Since that fateful day, I’ve never gone back. As investments go, this has to be my most profitable, with an internal rate of return that’s over 1,000% per serving. It has the added benefits of healthier and tastier snacking. Eat it straight or with a twist of salt.
2. Do or don’t rotate your own tires. When it comes to car advice, I only trust two men: Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers—the auto mechanics who used to have the show on National Public Radio called Car Talk. While their automotive knowledge was quite extensive—both were MIT-educated—I appreciated that it was delivered with a modicum of humility and a maximum of humor.
They believed that paying more than $20 to rotate your tires didn’t make economic sense. As that advice is more than a few years old now, I’m going to adjust that to $25, to account for the subject at hand—inflation.
Since the local auto repair place charges $25, I realized that I needed to skip the tire rotation, adjust the Tappet Brothers’ cutoff for inflation or rotate the tires myself. In this case, DIY can be a burdensome and time-consuming experience, but hey, I’m retired.
Note: You may not want to rotate your tires the day before a road trip to Bentonville, Arkansas, in 95-degree weather, as you may strip the wheel lock key, forcing you to drive like a maniac to a local dealer just before closing and pray to dear God they have a master key. This is all hypothetical.
3. Drink economical whiskey. When my old employer used to buy me a Manhattan on the rocks, it always seemed to come with Woodford Reserve. Now that I’m retired, it always seems to come with something else, though lately the price of something else has increased a little more than I’d prefer.
Thankfully, I’ve stumbled across a fixed-income remedy, Mellow Corn Straight Corn Whiskey at $17.99 a bottle. It’s pretty damn good. I wouldn’t drink the stuff straight, but mixed with a little sweet vermouth, bitters and two cherries, it’s a real inflation buster. I guess I could just reduce my drinking. But did I mention that it comes in at 100 proof?
4. Use Capital One Shopping. In a prior article, I mentioned the virtual credit card benefits of Capital One. Another benefit, which doesn’t require a Capital One credit card, is called Capital One Shopping, which is an app installed on your web browser that scours the internet for a better deal than the one you’re currently offered.
I used this on a recent trip to Jefferson City, Missouri, to save $35 on a two-night hotel stay. It also plugged a promo code into booking.com that saved me 10% on a seven-night stay in Seattle.
5. Buy the Joy of Cooking cookbook. If I’d invested what I paid for every cookbook in my basement, attic, closet and garage in Amazon stock, I most likely wouldn’t be writing this thesis—at least not from the confines of the conterminous United States.
Cookbooks are like porn. You read them and think, “Yeah, I could see myself doing that,” though in all likelihood you will not. You might as well limit your wallet and bookshelf to just one cookbook—the best one. Unlike most, it’s not just a book of recipes, it’s a tutorial on everything from alcohol (see No. 3 above) to zucchini.
As Kierkegaard might have said—if instead of being born into an affluent family in Copenhagen in 1813 he was, like my mother, born in Queens, New York, in 1921, lived through the Great Depression and 13.55% inflation in 1980— “Life is not a reality to be experienced, but unrelenting inflation to be ameliorated.”
Michael Flack blogs at AfterActionReport.info. He’s a former naval officer and 20-year veteran of the oil and gas industry. Now retired, Mike enjoys traveling, blogging and spreadsheets. Check out his earlier articles.
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Cookbooks, yes, food porn – also websites and blogs, which require paper and ink to print the recipes which then must be housed in binders by categories. Itsa real hobby. Came late to Joy of Cooking myself, can recommend Low-Salt Sweet Cucumber Slices, Bread and Butter And Quick Dill Pickles. Swept the my County Fair in all processed foods last year 🙂
D. Rae, thanks for your comments and the new recipe.
When I buy new tires for our cars, I make sure to negotiate free lifetime tire rotations.
Just remember, nothing in life is free as it all comes with a cost in the tire price. Discount Tire has a road hazard warranty, which includes tire rotations and balancing. It costs $47 per tire. Fully worth it to me because I have had six tires replaced for free in the last three years (flats from construction and one minor accident). I rotate and balance every six-months regardless of mileage and have never regretted paying for the coverage. It’s like insurance, you need it when you need it, otherwise it’s piece of mind.
Please keep shopping around. I buy my replacement tires from Sam’s Club, which has a $19 installation and road hazard and lifetime re-balance and rotation package. I still always shop around, and for my last set of Goodyears, a buddy of mine who is retired from that company checked his retired employee price for me. Sam’s was exactly the same but with the cheaper package described above. Just last month I had a sidewall cut, unrepairable, which was replaced with my only cost being the $19 package for the new tire. Very interesting for those who think inflation is transitory, the tires were $160 each 18 months ago. Last month the identical replacement made in the same Goodyear factory (you can check the sidewall markings) had a price of $233. But again, no cost to me other than the $19 fee.
Wow, with that kind of bad luck with tires, I think you’re making the right call on the hazard insurance. We also rotate and balance (mostly) independence of mileage, but partly because we are now in our post-retirement, hardly-drive-anywhere period and still have AAA in case of such emergency, I have passed on the insurance to this point.
Randy Starks, the road hazard warranty sounds interesting, though I generally do not insure items that are not a financial burden (tires, plane tickets, appliances, water lines, jewelry, etc.). I realize that insurance can bring some peace of mind, but in the end it is an economical decision and if you don’t at least figure in the Tappet Brothers input, what’s the point of reading Humble Dollar in the first place?
Were you using a calibrated torque wrench when you stripped the wheel lock? Without using a torque wrench set to the torque for your specific vehicle, the lugs will either be too loose, or the wheel stud threads will be needlessly fatigued under too much torque, leading to failure over time. Wheel locks are also subject to this type of fatigue failure, which is why I suspect either the wrong torque spec was used (set wrong, or wrench not calibrated), or no torque wrench was used at all. Even just forgetting to set the torque wrench back to minimum spec when you’re done can alter the calibration over time.
For anyone thinking of rotating their own tires, if you don’t have a torque wrench, the correct torque spec, a floor jack, jack stands, wheel chocks, and a level concrete surface; just pay for a garage to do it.
Nick M, of course I use a calibrated torque wrench. I also always drive the speed limit, use hand signals when bicycling, wash my hands before eating, get a physical every year, don’t drink to excess, cross at the green (and not in between), eat my steak well done, don’t run with scissors, never walk into a place I don’t know how to walk out of, and always thank readers for their comments.
BTW: you wouldn’t happen to own an auto repair shop?
Great article, Michael, with some good laughs.
Another Car Talk fan here—their radio show used to liven up a long commute for me. I didn’t realize Tom Magliozzi had died (back in 2014): Tom Magliozzi, of NPR’s ‘Car Talk,’ Dies at Age 77 – Tire Review Magazine But Ray’s still going and wrote an opinion piece for the Washington Post recently: Opinion | ‘Car Talk’ host Ray Magliozzi: ‘Right to repair’ law must pass – The Washington Post
Andrew Forsythe, thanks for the kind words. I always thought my articles contained a hint of Tony Bourdain, a quantum of Mark Twain with a balance of Andrew Tobias. Now I realize that a little Ray Magliozzi is in the mix.
Yoders, (Amish) popcorn with avocado oil. Free tire rotation if bought at Costco. My go to bourbon for mixed drinks is Evan Williams bottled – in – bond. About $33 for the 1.75 liter. Clocks in at 100 proof. Fun article, thanks!
Mike Wyant, I’ll have to give Evan Williams a try next time. I’m not a fan of avocado oil.
Mike Wyant, I think you might be on to something re: Evan Willans Bottled-in-bond – I’m drinking it in a Flackhattan as I type. It costs me @ $29.50/1.75L, which is cheaper than Mellow Corn, though a little less tasty.
Really fun article Michael. A long time ago a friend had his own automotive shop – three bays with lift. We used to go there after hours and use the lifts and tools. Made it so much easier to have a heated garage and professional equipment. It spoiled me for doing DIY in the driveway.
Rick Connor, thanks for the kind words. Having a lift makes auto repairs much more manageable.
So funny! The Pearl Harbor and cookbook lines had me LOL’ing!
Ben Rodriguez, thanks!
I make pop corn regularly, but olive oil? No thanks, definitely adds a different taste. Try peanut oil. I wouldn’t know how to rotate tires if I was paid to do so. I don’t like whisky, but I look for reasonably economical wine.
As for cooking, I like to cook, especially creating out of whatever I find in the fridge or freezer. I have The Joy of Cooking and many others – never used any of them. The pictures look nice, but getting there is not fun IMO.
I do know where I will save money though. Our current road trip is taking us to Memphis. I thought I’d give Graceland a look, but then I see the basic self tour of the house is $77. Graceland earns around $10 million each year and the Presley estate about $23 million. Somebody deceased 45 years doesn’t need my money that bad.
Olive oil is much healthier! I may try that instead of buying Trader Joe’s olive oil popcorn.
We had the misfortune of touring Graceland years ago. Most overpriced, worthless tourist trap we’ve ever experienced. And I’m an Elvis fan.
R Quinn, thank you . . . thank you very much.
Dick, we were just in Memphis . Graceland was OK, but I would not go back. The National Civil Rights museum was much better, and Central BBQ is across the street. There is parking at the museum.
I have to think that if the total of all those suggestions adds up to more than a thousand dollars I’d be amazed.
Wow, hit enter before I finished, but still good ideas I was about to type. And as an Arkansas resident I can tell you it’s even hotter on the Louisiana border than up in the north part of the state. We call that Alpine weather down here!
Daddy Warbucks, I guess it depends on how much you drink.
Click and Clack was must hear radio. I hope NPR will decide to again make a time slot for replay of the old shows. I took their advice and have gifted three old cars to my local NPR affiliate when the cars were economically beyond repair. No cost to me for towing away and a clean title transfer meaning no potential future liability should anyone resurrect my junk car and then crash it into a school bus. Unlikely I know but …
Don’t drive like my brother.
They run a podcast with all the old shows. A quick search will yield it. It’s must listen!
William Perry, the Tappet Brothers are sorely missed. I respect Ray, that much more, when he ended the show after his brother died. A replay of some of the old shows would be welcome.
Thanks Mr. Flack. Regarding #3 in your list. We had a Cinco de Mayo party a few years ago and everyone brought their favorite tequila. We did a blind taste test of straight tequila for about 10-12 people . All but 1 person chose Kirkland (the cheap Costco brand) as their favorite. Who woulda thunk?!
Guest, Kirkland makes a bottle in bond bourbon that I’m working on as I type – very nice.
I’ve heard Costco vodka is also very good. The French version supposedly tastes like Grey goose, and the American vodka is like Titos. Unfortunately not many east coast state Costcos sell alcohol.
At least you didn’t play the dry martini game: Four people sit around a table. Each has a pitcher of martinis. One person gets up and leaves the room. The other three people try to guess who it is.
Now that’s funny!! 🙂