We are in this time of life. One of our elderly parents who lives alone has memory issues. How did you know when it was not safe for your parents to be in their home anymore? Chris
I encourage you to act sooner rather than later. Elderly people falling prey to financial scammers is often the first sign that something is off. A friend of mine’s mother appeared completely normal – she took care of the house and bills, shopped, cooked socialized. She also emptied several accounts and bought gold bars. The scammers hired someone to pick them up at her house. She lost over a million dollars and there is no hope of recovery. When her family went to court get power of attorney, she was still so lucid that the judge emphasized that the only domain her daughter could control was financial.
This is a very important topic, and one I have some experience with. The simple answer is to observe your parents and look for signs of cognitive or physical changes that indicate the need for help. For example, my wife noticed some mental state changes in my mother months before she was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma of the brain. With my mother-in-law, I noticed she no longer was handling her financial affairs with the usual efficiency. Vanguard quarterly reports started to pile up unopened. This may be gradual, so it takes careful observation, and patience.
Let me give you the elderly parent perspective – we are 80 and 85 and although I don’t admit it I think that may be elderly.
Thankfully at this point mental problems are not an issue, but who knows when we really are old.
Our greatest fear is loss of control, loss of independence or worse dependent on our children. We don’t want to be put somewhere no matter how nice. We want to stay in our home. If we become dependent, we will feel inferior, a burden. We don’t want to disrupt our children’s lives.
We want total control over our lives and money in every way.
We had an aunt who was a widow who until the day she died at 96 lived in her first home, managed her own affairs and in her 80s took a tax course so she could do her own. That’s a nice goal. When she contract cancer at 95, she made it clear no treatment was to be provided.
That’s what we elderly want, what we may get could be different. Sometimes we just hang around too long.
I encourage you to act sooner rather than later. Elderly people falling prey to financial scammers is often the first sign that something is off. A friend of mine’s mother appeared completely normal – she took care of the house and bills, shopped, cooked socialized. She also emptied several accounts and bought gold bars. The scammers hired someone to pick them up at her house. She lost over a million dollars and there is no hope of recovery. When her family went to court get power of attorney, she was still so lucid that the judge emphasized that the only domain her daughter could control was financial.
This is a very important topic, and one I have some experience with. The simple answer is to observe your parents and look for signs of cognitive or physical changes that indicate the need for help. For example, my wife noticed some mental state changes in my mother months before she was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma of the brain. With my mother-in-law, I noticed she no longer was handling her financial affairs with the usual efficiency. Vanguard quarterly reports started to pile up unopened. This may be gradual, so it takes careful observation, and patience.
Thanks for answering, Rick. We are noticing some changes, and I do think patience is going to be needed. You are right.
Let me give you the elderly parent perspective – we are 80 and 85 and although I don’t admit it I think that may be elderly.
Thankfully at this point mental problems are not an issue, but who knows when we really are old.
Our greatest fear is loss of control, loss of independence or worse dependent on our children. We don’t want to be put somewhere no matter how nice. We want to stay in our home. If we become dependent, we will feel inferior, a burden. We don’t want to disrupt our children’s lives.
We want total control over our lives and money in every way.
We had an aunt who was a widow who until the day she died at 96 lived in her first home, managed her own affairs and in her 80s took a tax course so she could do her own. That’s a nice goal. When she contract cancer at 95, she made it clear no treatment was to be provided.
That’s what we elderly want, what we may get could be different. Sometimes we just hang around too long.