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You faced no financial disasters through life, you were not disabled, you simply went through life with no specific financial plans for the future and now you are old, retired with minimal income or resources.
How would you feel accepting money or substantial gifts (car) from adult children?
Glad, embarrassed, ashamed, entitled, grateful?
I wouldn’t be happy about accepting significant financial help from my children. But when I was in my 30s, I could see how pleased my mother, stepfather and father were when I occasionally picked up the tab at a restaurant. I think they liked that I didn’t assume they should always pay.
Great example. Picking up the tab is a rite of passage that pleases all parties. But, I don’t respect a financial plan that relies on children as the sole source of support. Still, at the end, the final decision-makers are most often the children. That’s part of being part of a family, and I’m okay with relinquishing control to someone who loves me.
Do you mean when you may be physically or mentally disabled and unable to function adequately?
Yes, but it’s often a slow process. Someone will probably have to give a guiding hand. There’s the CCRC option, but I’m not quite there mentally.
Yes, I agree with that. Now, though I feel guilty if I don’t pick up the check knowing am in better financial shape then they are.
This is Chris. Spouse and I don’t want to be a financial burden to our kids. But we never know what the future holds. I would hope if I was in that situation I would feel grateful for their help. Our daughter works for a large private restaurant company. She is high enough in the organization that she receives credits to eat at the company’s restaurants to introduce family, friends and acquaintances to them. We are grateful when she takes us out and we usually pay the tip. I felt kind of funny about it at first, but it is a use it or lose it kind of situation.