Nah, it wouldn't change their behavior. In my experience the majority of people don't actually behave rationally like that. Sure, some people "save up" for something and then buy it, but that's an old fashioned notion. I am younger than many people on this platform and have young adult kids. Between my father and I make choices more like my dad, but I'd by lying if I said my boys aren't having an influence on my decision making. I am more apt to make choices now without overthinking things or seeing things in accept/reject terms.
Here is the bottom line: When money is removed from your wallet and put in someone else's there's an exchange. You are buying something with your money. When you buy anything else, you weigh if you want the thing/experience more than you want the money. When you give money to your kids what are you buying? You could be buying:
Peace of mind - removing their financial stress gives you less stress
Glee at seeing them enjoy life - seeing people you love enjoy themselves is pretty awesome
A family trip where you all have fun - why not get in on the action
A shared Spotify subscription where you share songs - dumb example but was all I can think of because I do this
Now, I just gave my son an extremely large chunk of change to buy a home. He has a mortgage he can afford and is extremely happy. Giving him the money made me feel amazing and it's super nice to know he's not going to be living with me and has a place of his own. I am free. I can move anywhere I want in the world and know he has a place to live that isn't with me and my wife. I don't even think of the money I spent. I just see how happy he is and it was a great purchase. Hopefully this provides food for thought.
What's hilarious is that I paid off our mortgage a while ago (2016 I think), but now I am looking at doing build, borrow, die with an SBLOC where we carry debt indefinitely until one of us dies. It's super hard to wrap my head around it - a loan where you pay the interest and just let the principal run forever.
My mother died of lung cancer from smoking and I immediately invested and have done incredibly well. Them and PM are awesome places to park cash. Cash, even at a 4% return, barely keeps up with inflation. I always laugh when people invest based on morality.
Is there any reason you wouldn't invest in a stable, old economy stock with a 4-7 percent yield. I've held MO for years and it just keeps increasing the dividend year after year. It's also tax advantaged too because the dividends are taxed at 15% instead of your marginal rate, and if you're married and retired, it will likely be close to zero if you're under the threshold.
I am genuinely getting a giggle from all these comments. I turn 53 next week and my 24 year-old just bought a home, and I have relatives who live in multigeneration housing, so I have a lot of experience with this. My children's view of what's normal is the fault of my wife and I. We did the high-end sports, we did tons of travel, we ate out here and there. However, we taught our kids the value and reward of work at an early age, and that nothing comes without costs. I made it my business to earn enough money to support a traditional stay-at-home mom setup because I thought it was worth it because it made such a difference in my life. Good parents expose their children to the values that made positive contribution to their own lives and hope it sticks. That's all you can really do. I gave a very large gift to my son for his down payment and he's got a 325K mortgage he has to pay, and it's great to see him step up to the plate and work to make those payments. Does he spend too much eating out? Yes. Does he do stupid things with money and time? Yes. But that's life. He's an adult, and I want to see him be successful. I don't make it my business to worry about anyone else's kids. The article, Dick's article, and the comments are pretty entertaining, but that's where it ends. The message is to make enough money through work, savings, and investment over 30 years, and you too can sit back, relax, and giggle at how "the young people" do things.
I play golf with a dude who owns a restaurant. Margins on soft drinks are in the hundreds of percent, and his margin on a pizza is almost 100%. Yeah, he's got costs, but he's doing just fine. He even told me he "feels bad" about charging so much, but is in line with other restaurants in the area.
I just got back from a month in Thailand and Taiwan. The food in Thailand is crazy fresh, cooked right in front of you, and a full plate of food for two people is $1.25. Iced coffee/tea is another $1.00. A fully furnished condo is $600/month and you don't need a car. It's crazy how many expats are going there from all over the world. It's incredible.
What I have been doing is taking both hard and soft drinks from home, putting them in a cooler or Yeti tumbler, grabbing a bagged salad kit from the grocery store and some pepperoni from the cold aisle. I bring a bowl and a fork, and find myself a nice place with a view here in Western WA and just relax. It's less than 10 bucks and is amazing.
Comments
You're welcome. It was a good thread. More people should talk about this kind of thing.
Post: Helping Adult Children
Link to comment from February 10, 2026
Nah, it wouldn't change their behavior. In my experience the majority of people don't actually behave rationally like that. Sure, some people "save up" for something and then buy it, but that's an old fashioned notion. I am younger than many people on this platform and have young adult kids. Between my father and I make choices more like my dad, but I'd by lying if I said my boys aren't having an influence on my decision making. I am more apt to make choices now without overthinking things or seeing things in accept/reject terms.
Post: Choices, choices everywhere
Link to comment from February 8, 2026
Here is the bottom line: When money is removed from your wallet and put in someone else's there's an exchange. You are buying something with your money. When you buy anything else, you weigh if you want the thing/experience more than you want the money. When you give money to your kids what are you buying? You could be buying:
- Peace of mind - removing their financial stress gives you less stress
- Glee at seeing them enjoy life - seeing people you love enjoy themselves is pretty awesome
- A family trip where you all have fun - why not get in on the action
- A shared Spotify subscription where you share songs - dumb example but was all I can think of because I do this
Now, I just gave my son an extremely large chunk of change to buy a home. He has a mortgage he can afford and is extremely happy. Giving him the money made me feel amazing and it's super nice to know he's not going to be living with me and has a place of his own. I am free. I can move anywhere I want in the world and know he has a place to live that isn't with me and my wife. I don't even think of the money I spent. I just see how happy he is and it was a great purchase. Hopefully this provides food for thought.Post: Helping Adult Children
Link to comment from February 8, 2026
What's hilarious is that I paid off our mortgage a while ago (2016 I think), but now I am looking at doing build, borrow, die with an SBLOC where we carry debt indefinitely until one of us dies. It's super hard to wrap my head around it - a loan where you pay the interest and just let the principal run forever.
Post: The $8,000 Cost of Peace of Mind
Link to comment from January 24, 2026
My mother died of lung cancer from smoking and I immediately invested and have done incredibly well. Them and PM are awesome places to park cash. Cash, even at a 4% return, barely keeps up with inflation. I always laugh when people invest based on morality.
Post: Should I Lock in CD Rates Now or Stay in Money Market?
Link to comment from January 15, 2026
Is there any reason you wouldn't invest in a stable, old economy stock with a 4-7 percent yield. I've held MO for years and it just keeps increasing the dividend year after year. It's also tax advantaged too because the dividends are taxed at 15% instead of your marginal rate, and if you're married and retired, it will likely be close to zero if you're under the threshold.
Post: Should I Lock in CD Rates Now or Stay in Money Market?
Link to comment from January 15, 2026
I am genuinely getting a giggle from all these comments. I turn 53 next week and my 24 year-old just bought a home, and I have relatives who live in multigeneration housing, so I have a lot of experience with this. My children's view of what's normal is the fault of my wife and I. We did the high-end sports, we did tons of travel, we ate out here and there. However, we taught our kids the value and reward of work at an early age, and that nothing comes without costs. I made it my business to earn enough money to support a traditional stay-at-home mom setup because I thought it was worth it because it made such a difference in my life. Good parents expose their children to the values that made positive contribution to their own lives and hope it sticks. That's all you can really do. I gave a very large gift to my son for his down payment and he's got a 325K mortgage he has to pay, and it's great to see him step up to the plate and work to make those payments. Does he spend too much eating out? Yes. Does he do stupid things with money and time? Yes. But that's life. He's an adult, and I want to see him be successful. I don't make it my business to worry about anyone else's kids. The article, Dick's article, and the comments are pretty entertaining, but that's where it ends. The message is to make enough money through work, savings, and investment over 30 years, and you too can sit back, relax, and giggle at how "the young people" do things.
Post: The impossibility of defining needs.
Link to comment from January 10, 2026
I play golf with a dude who owns a restaurant. Margins on soft drinks are in the hundreds of percent, and his margin on a pizza is almost 100%. Yeah, he's got costs, but he's doing just fine. He even told me he "feels bad" about charging so much, but is in line with other restaurants in the area.
Post: 27 Months
Link to comment from December 16, 2025
I just got back from a month in Thailand and Taiwan. The food in Thailand is crazy fresh, cooked right in front of you, and a full plate of food for two people is $1.25. Iced coffee/tea is another $1.00. A fully furnished condo is $600/month and you don't need a car. It's crazy how many expats are going there from all over the world. It's incredible.
Post: 27 Months
Link to comment from December 16, 2025
What I have been doing is taking both hard and soft drinks from home, putting them in a cooler or Yeti tumbler, grabbing a bagged salad kit from the grocery store and some pepperoni from the cold aisle. I bring a bowl and a fork, and find myself a nice place with a view here in Western WA and just relax. It's less than 10 bucks and is amazing.
Post: 27 Months
Link to comment from December 16, 2025