I’m not sure we ever even things out among our kids. But that said, your daughter has been benefitting from free rent and has been receiving help from you. I wouldn’t penalize the son for wanting to be independent after college. Your kids have chosen different lifestyles — nether seems particularly bad from my perspective. I’d talk a potential down payment over with the son. If he and his wife think it’s a good idea, I’d do it.
Is the situation today really comparable to that 15 years ago? Today, we seem to be seeing the proliferation of many drugs which are very pricey, but also lifesaving. Just asking— I really don’t have the answer.
We didn’t have a lot of time or money either. But I’ve always been a fan of grabbing opportunities to do new things. We took our kids to Disney World, but drove during the summer in a car with no air conditioning, and stayed in a lower cost motel off the Disney property, (I doubt we’d go today), Likewise, we took the family to Cape Cod for a week. We had an efficiency room for the 5 of us and I cooked all our meals. We swam at the National Seashore beaches, I think we had as good a time as people spending the big bucks.
I’d go further and suggest doing more bucket list activities before retiring. To be honest, I’m uncomfortable with the accepted HD division of savings and spending times. My husband and I didn’t retire until we were both 72. We actually continued to work because we enjoyed doing so. But we also went to all the places on traditional bucket lists well before we quit the workforce. Viking didn’t take us most places. Instead, we got guidebooks and designed our own adventures. We took a US troop train into Berlin while Germany was divided, drove from Heidelberg to Krakow during a major flood in Central Europe, got mugged in Beijing but went to the Great Wall the next day, etc. Being active during our working lives did not compromise our retirement. We did have jobs with good pensions and also saved. We’ve also benefited from a good stock market run. I have over 200,000 frequent flyer miles; last night I was checking out business class tickets to distant places. My one problem is my husband wants to take our dog!
I have several friends— widows who should know better — who tell me every year that they can’t keep track of the paperwork needed to do their taxes. They rely on their accountants to download it. I’ve repeatedly told them their accountants are on the clock, and it’s temps in the accountants’ offices who download the forms. But every year, it’s the same deal— and then they complain about the cost of tax prep! I’m trying to get my husband up to speed with this . I’ll consider myself a success, if he just puts all the materials in a big envelope to take to a preparer— though turbo tax is well within his skill set! Meanwile today is my first stint as a volunteer tax preparer at Goodwill. Last year, we had a 103 year old come in with all his paperwork in perfect order!
Absolutely true that resort areas totally depend on non residents, I support the same kinds of activities that you do. The kind of tax system Massachusetts has established for vacation areas hasn’t reached upstate NY yet, but the Adirondacks are about 50 miles from the Berkshires. I feel very sure the property tax breaks will rapidly spread to us. I also know that the locals really don’t have opportunities for good paying jobs, So I’ll accept the higher tax on second homes owners when it arrives, And there’s self interest attached. I want to be able to go to a restaurant, have the lawn mowed, have our boat cared for, etc.
Our banking system isn’t the reason some full time residents own homes in resort areas. It’s because the locals bought before second homes demand exploded and many live in less desirable — not lake front— areas. What you say about the Irish situation closely tracks what’s happening in the US,
Comments
I’m not sure we ever even things out among our kids. But that said, your daughter has been benefitting from free rent and has been receiving help from you. I wouldn’t penalize the son for wanting to be independent after college. Your kids have chosen different lifestyles — nether seems particularly bad from my perspective. I’d talk a potential down payment over with the son. If he and his wife think it’s a good idea, I’d do it.
Post: Helping Adult Children
Link to comment from February 8, 2026
Is the situation today really comparable to that 15 years ago? Today, we seem to be seeing the proliferation of many drugs which are very pricey, but also lifesaving. Just asking— I really don’t have the answer.
Post: When $2100 is not what it appears. The Medicare Part D trap
Link to comment from February 6, 2026
We didn’t have a lot of time or money either. But I’ve always been a fan of grabbing opportunities to do new things. We took our kids to Disney World, but drove during the summer in a car with no air conditioning, and stayed in a lower cost motel off the Disney property, (I doubt we’d go today), Likewise, we took the family to Cape Cod for a week. We had an efficiency room for the 5 of us and I cooked all our meals. We swam at the National Seashore beaches, I think we had as good a time as people spending the big bucks.
Post: Carpe diem – especially in retirement
Link to comment from February 4, 2026
I’d go further and suggest doing more bucket list activities before retiring. To be honest, I’m uncomfortable with the accepted HD division of savings and spending times. My husband and I didn’t retire until we were both 72. We actually continued to work because we enjoyed doing so. But we also went to all the places on traditional bucket lists well before we quit the workforce. Viking didn’t take us most places. Instead, we got guidebooks and designed our own adventures. We took a US troop train into Berlin while Germany was divided, drove from Heidelberg to Krakow during a major flood in Central Europe, got mugged in Beijing but went to the Great Wall the next day, etc. Being active during our working lives did not compromise our retirement. We did have jobs with good pensions and also saved. We’ve also benefited from a good stock market run. I have over 200,000 frequent flyer miles; last night I was checking out business class tickets to distant places. My one problem is my husband wants to take our dog!
Post: Carpe diem – especially in retirement
Link to comment from February 4, 2026
Same to you. Funny, I enjoy doing other people’s taxes; but doing ours makes me nervous.
Post: Tax Filing (A Teeny Tiny Rant)
Link to comment from February 2, 2026
I have several friends— widows who should know better — who tell me every year that they can’t keep track of the paperwork needed to do their taxes. They rely on their accountants to download it. I’ve repeatedly told them their accountants are on the clock, and it’s temps in the accountants’ offices who download the forms. But every year, it’s the same deal— and then they complain about the cost of tax prep! I’m trying to get my husband up to speed with this . I’ll consider myself a success, if he just puts all the materials in a big envelope to take to a preparer— though turbo tax is well within his skill set! Meanwile today is my first stint as a volunteer tax preparer at Goodwill. Last year, we had a 103 year old come in with all his paperwork in perfect order!
Post: Tax Filing (A Teeny Tiny Rant)
Link to comment from February 2, 2026
I do returns through the IRS sponsored VITA program for low income and seniors at Goodwill. We’re required to e file all returns.
Post: Checks and Balances
Link to comment from January 30, 2026
Absolutely true that resort areas totally depend on non residents, I support the same kinds of activities that you do. The kind of tax system Massachusetts has established for vacation areas hasn’t reached upstate NY yet, but the Adirondacks are about 50 miles from the Berkshires. I feel very sure the property tax breaks will rapidly spread to us. I also know that the locals really don’t have opportunities for good paying jobs, So I’ll accept the higher tax on second homes owners when it arrives, And there’s self interest attached. I want to be able to go to a restaurant, have the lawn mowed, have our boat cared for, etc.
Post: Decoupled From Reality
Link to comment from January 30, 2026
Our banking system isn’t the reason some full time residents own homes in resort areas. It’s because the locals bought before second homes demand exploded and many live in less desirable — not lake front— areas. What you say about the Irish situation closely tracks what’s happening in the US,
Post: Decoupled From Reality
Link to comment from January 30, 2026
Exactly’. Could you live on four months of steady income?
Post: Decoupled From Reality
Link to comment from January 30, 2026