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Kathleen Rehl

I’m an author, educator, mentor, and storyteller who’s dedicated to empowering widows—and the professionals who walk alongside them. After my husband died, I turned my grief into purpose, helping other women navigate the financial and emotional challenges of widowhood. My book, Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows, has supported thousands on their path from loss to healing. Through articles, poetry, and speaking, I also share reflections that encourage legacy planning and purposeful aging. My work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Kiplinger’s, CNBC, Sixty and Me, Agebuzz, Humble Dollar, Rethinking65, and more. Now in my “ReFirement” years, I focus on what matters most to me: family, friends, fulfillment, fun, and fitness—keeping my mind, body, spirit, and finances strong. I also teach at The American College of Financial Services, guiding professionals in philanthropy and legacy planning. Whether you’re a widow looking for a bit of guidance, a financial professional supporting grieving clients, or someone exploring legacy or purpose in later life—I’m here to support your journey. My website is https://www.kathleenrehl.com/.

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Forum Posts

After Loss, Love Again

21 replies

AUTHOR: Kathleen Rehl on 7/5/2025
FIRST: Dan Smith on 7/5   |   RECENT: Donny Hrubes on 7/13

Comments

  • What a powerful story—thank you for sharing it. That widow’s strength, instincts, and follow-through are inspiring. It’s a clear reminder that love and trust don’t mean we shouldn’t protect ourselves, especially when complex family dynamics are involved. I’m so glad she had the courage to stand her ground. And thank you for the kind words about my website photo! I love imagining your garden bursting with zinnias and sunflowers—such joyful, life-affirming flowers for all of us.

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 7, 2025

  • Thank you so much for sharing your experience, and congratulations on doing such thoughtful planning together. It sounds like you both approached your marriage wisely. I especially appreciate your emphasis on trust, not just the legal kind, but the emotional kind that forms the foundation of every lasting relationship. Beautifully said.

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 6, 2025

  • Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad that the phrase “Here are 10 to get you started” resonated with you. Every situation is unique, and starting with those foundational questions can help people tailor the conversation to their own circumstances. I appreciate your take and your encouragement!

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 6, 2025

  • You’ve nailed it—prenups are absolutely vital. I agree that broaching that conversation early is smart, and sometimes it’s the make-or-break moment in rebuilding trust and mutual understanding. It’s not always easy to start, but it’s often what helps a relationship move forward with clarity and confidence. Thanks for highlighting that!

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 6, 2025

  • Thank you, Cheryl! I’m glad you found the advice helpful. It can feel daunting to bring up financial topics, especially after loss, but a gentle, honest approach can turn uncertainty into connection. Your support means a lot.

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 6, 2025

  • Thank you for sharing your perspective as fellow widowers. I’m glad the list reflects your real‑life experiences. It’s one thing to think about these steps, and another to put them into practice—so hearing from people who’ve done it can inspire and guide others facing similar decisions. Much appreciated!

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 6, 2025

  • Your situation is a beautiful reminder that financial conversations aren’t just for new romantic relationships—they’re essential for all phases of life. I’m glad these questions may serve you as your next chapter unfolds.

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 6, 2025

  • Thanks very much, Jonathan—that means a lot coming from you! I deeply appreciate the platform you’ve built for thoughtful dialogue. It’s always an honor to contribute, and I’m glad this piece sparked meaningful conversation. I'll try to write more regularly in the future.

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 6, 2025

  • Thank you, Dan! I aimed to offer a roadmap that really anyone stepping into a new relationship after loss could find valuable. I’m grateful that you see its relevance beyond widowhood—it’s about care, clarity, and mindful planning. Thanks for your validation!

    Post: After Loss, Love Again

    Link to comment from July 6, 2025

  • Jonathan, you keep giving, and giving, and giving. Thanks for yet more helpful guidance about end-of-life planning and actions. Today, I referenced Humble Dollar and your writing during a Death Cafe meeting I facilitated. Your practical advice has always been so helpful . . . and it continues to be especially so now.

    Post: No Slowing Down

    Link to comment from July 28, 2024

Articles

Not Wired to Retire

Kathleen M. Rehl   |  Mar 26, 2024

MY HUSBAND SAYS I’LL never retire. He’s right. Now in my 78th year, I have no intention of stopping work altogether to devote myself to round-the-clock leisure. That sounds unappealing, especially since I plan to live well into my 90s, just like my great-grandmother.
Most of my friends opted to retire in their 60s. That includes my husband, Charlie. He retired at age 61 after 38 years as a nuclear engineer, all that time with the same company.

Better Than Cake

Kathleen M. Rehl   |  Feb 22, 2023

ON DEC. 23, 2022, while Santa and his elves were busy loading his red sleigh with gifts, the 117th Congress was putting together some goodies of its own, formally known as the Consolidated Appropriations Act, 2023. Before we rang in the new year, President Biden signed the bill into law.
Included in that 1,600-page, $1.7 trillion appropriations measure was a special present for folks like me—the so-called Legacy IRA. This allows me to increase the sum I give to charity and the money I earn on my fixed-income investments,

All Together Now

Kathleen M. Rehl   |  Sep 10, 2022

ONE OUT OF FOUR Americans lives in a household with three or more generations under one roof, according to Generations United’s 2021 report. The number of folks living in these multigenerational households has increased sharply over the past decade, from 7% in 2011 to 26% in 2021. Although “multigen” households come in many shapes and sizes, the rarest type is a four- or five-generation family living together.
For most of my pre-teen years, I lived in a four-generation household.

Better Than Dollars

Kathleen M. Rehl   |  May 17, 2022

A FRIEND ASKED ME recently if I got paid for the writing I do. She assumed that I’d be compensated, especially for research articles published in scholarly journals.
“Yes,” I replied. “I’m paid generously—in psychic income.”
“What’s psychic income?” she asked.
I explained. “Instead of earning a paycheck for my paper, I earn the satisfaction of this well-respected periodical running my article.” That’s also the way it is for my short stories and poetry that appear in specialty publications.

Giving Twice

Kathleen M. Rehl   |  Sep 22, 2021

MY ANDROID RANG on a sunny Saturday afternoon. The screen said it was from a police station. Hesitating, I took the call. My biracial son came on.
“I’m going to jail, Mom. But I didn’t do it.”
Instant memories, almost 50 years old, of police guns pointing at my African husband’s head and mine. Wrong profile of an interracial couple. It wasn’t us. Checking IDs, they realized we weren’t the suspects sought.
With my son’s phone call,

Final Thoughts

Kathleen M. Rehl   |  Feb 12, 2021

YOUR ESTATE PLAN specifies what you want done with your money and possessions after your death. But your life’s treasures extend beyond these material items—to your values, heritage, relationships, hopes, dreams, memories and stories. You can share some of this with family and friends through a legacy letter, sometimes called an “ethical will.”
Not long before my mother died, she wrote her legacy letter. She asked that it be read during her memorial service.

Better Than Golf

Kathleen M. Rehl   |  Mar 28, 2019

FOR ME AND MANY other older baby boomers, the traditional retirement model doesn’t work. We’re healthier and living longer than prior generations. Most of us don’t want to sit in a rocking chair, gaze at the sunset, play golf continuously, eat boring lunches at the senior center or live like we’re on vacation every single day.
Instead, we want to remain relevant, with meaning and purpose in our lives, and we want to continue to learn and grow.

Merging Money

Kathleen M. Rehl   |  Nov 5, 2018

I TIED THE KNOT again—at age 71. Four years into widowhood, I met Charlie online. Also widowed, he and I began dating cautiously, each respectful of our late spouses and those marriages, as well as our adult children and grandchildren.
We also focused on financial and legal issues. We knew from experience, and from research we had read, that financial disagreements can derail love. In an international survey of  widows and money, women shared advice about re-partnering: Talking about money matters was essential before remarriage,

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